Genius-grant giver the MacArthur Foundation and Mozilla recently teamed up with education network HASTAC (Humanities, Arts, Science, and Technology Advanced Collaboratory) to create a digital badge system in which folks earn titles such as “JavaScript expert” to supplement their resumes. But c’mon, MacArthur–that’s not what employers really want to know. We propose a few new ones.

On the Cheap
My last job paid so little, I’m now available at a discount.

Control Freak
Let the team relax; I’ll do it all.

Friend-Free
Social life? No, thanks. I sleep at the office.

Superior Yes Man
Obedient to a fault.

Enforcer
Pressuring coworkers so you don’t have to.

Office-Politics Manipulator
Using gossip to my advantage.

Sustenance Provider
Baking cupcakes on a weekly basis.

Penny-Pincher
Utilizing the unpaid interns until they bleed.
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