The distinguished award reserved for the person who achieves the highest critical excellence in writing 8,000-word treatises on your local hole-in-the-wall Thai place.
A gathering of deeply concerned friends and coworkers who attempt to confront Twitter holdouts about why they haven’t signed up for an account and joined the party already.
Return on LinkedInvestment
The amount of actual career opportunities that materialize in relation to the amount of time you spend futzing around with your LinkedIn profile.
The response you get for taking a picture of your lunch sandwich, adding a grainy ’70s filter, and showing it off around the office like you’re Diane Arbus. (See also: “Behind-the-Back Flickoffr”)
Being on the cutting edge of the very latest VampireVille-Mafia-Scrabble Facebook games with which to relentlessly spam friends, family, and random people you met once at a meeting.