advertisement
advertisement
  • 02.25.11

Where Are the Lady Geeks?

Ladies, you are missing out: Never mind bars, airports, supermarkets, libraries, book stores, Match.com, and Buddhist retreats. If you want to find a hottie, there’s no better place than a hackathon. Here are 10 kinds of geeks who are bringing the sexy back at these programmer events.

Tell me what’s wrong with this picture?

advertisement

How about this one:

And this one?

Yep. That’s right. Could someone please tell me where all da women at?

So here’s a call-to-action: lady-geeks need to represent,
put on their game-face, and participate in hackathons. Please help us restore the
testosterone-estrogen balance.

A hackathon is a 1- to 3-day event in which a large congregation
of geeks compete to develop the coolest app according to a given theme,
mission, or set of tools or API’s. Contestants are judged by a panel, or by the
attendees of the hackathon, based on the app’s complexity, relevance,
popularity, and general ‘coolness’. It’s a competition which challenges the
geek to overcome technical challenges, and stretch his/her limits of
creativity.

Examples of hackathons include Music Hack Day, Foursquare Hack Day, Startup Weekend, and Lean Startup Machine.
It is here where you’ll see a geek in full dishevelled, single-minded, and caffeine-fuelled
glory.

Unfortunately, like the IT industry in general, hackathons
tend to be male-dominated. By some estimates, the male-to-female ratio at
hackathons could be as high as 15-to-1, without exaggeration.

advertisement

Lady-geeks are missing out on the benefits of hackathons:
you get bragging rights if you win, free T-shirts, free trans-fat-laden food,
cash prizes and giveaways, and, yeah, maybe you’ll find a hottie in the
process.

“Geeks? Hotties?” you ask? okay, admittedly the word “sexy”
and “geek” are rarely, if ever, used in the same sentence. A geek spends a
minimum of 10 hours each day in front of a computer, microscope, or some other
technical apparatus; oblivious of the world around him, basking in the glow of
a monitor; all four eyes, bloodshot red; grazing on Doritos and some fizzy
caffeinated beverage, and hacking away at a problem simply for the pure
cerebral joy.

How could that possibly be sexy?

Well, I investigated this very question in a 6-month,
undercover observational study of the geek species in their natural habitat–at
more hackathons than I’d like to admit. Based on a statistically significant
sample of hundreds of male geek specimens, I’ve been able to categorize geeks based
on some key distinctive traits that lady-geeks need to know about. If I’ve
missed any categories, please feel free to comment.

1. The Religious Geek

Description

To clarify, I don’t mean religious as in “Hallelujah”, “Hare
Krishna”, Tom Cruise, or “Ohm Shanti”. I
mean Android versus iPhone. PHP versus Ruby. Linux versus Windows. HTML5 versus
Flash. Open source versus Evil Inc. This geek is a warmongering purist. It’s
his way or the highway when it comes to development methods and tools.

advertisement

Distinctive Traits

  • He is always the first to instigate flame wars
    in online forums about platforms, programming languages, and other technical
    matters that are trivial to the layman.
  • Beauty is an elegantly written line of code, not a Picasso.

Attractive Qualities

  • He’ll tirelessly fight for you if you’re ever in
    need, as long as you’re on his side. If you’re loyal to him, he’ll be loyal to
    you.
  • It’s tough to earn his respect, but if you do,
    he’s your friend for life.

2. The Hardware Geek

Description

Like their software siblings, hardware geeks constantly
tinker, but with hardware. Need to jail-break or replace the battery in your
iPhone or iPad? The hardware geek will be quick to dismantle your device,
disobeying all manufacturer’s warnings. He’ll risk electrocution just to re-purpose
and reverse-engineer any electronic gadget. Check out this hardware geek who won first prize for creating invisible instruments.

Distinctive Traits

  • Within 1 week of the release of the Wii and
    Kinnect, hardware geeks had already hacked together augmented reality applications that
    had nothing to do with those ridiculous volley ball, table tennis, and bowling games
    that came out-of-the-box.

Attractive Qualities

advertisement
  • A hardware geek will crossbreed your Commodore 64, Betamax VCR,
    vacuum cleaner, and obsolete laptop into something for your amusement … like a robot or invisible instrument.

3. The Geek Who Sold Out

Description

This is the geek who works for GE, Microsoft, IBM, Goldman
Sachs, or other cushy blue chip. Other geeks despise the Geek Who Sold Out
because he’s not suffering like the rest of them in a risky startup. Instead,
he chose the six-figure salary, 401K, and life of deference to corporate
bureaucracy, stale technologies, and offshoring of juicy programming
responsibilities.

Distinctive Traits

  • He has forgotten how to code, and has now become
    a project manager or “business guy.” If he stays in this job for another couple
    of years, he’ll become a Poser Geek.
  • The O’Reilly Books
    have given way to the GMAT Prep Books because he is planning to get an MBA.

Attractive Qualities

  • Due to the dress code and demands of his
    workplace, he will have better hygiene than the average geek.
  • He can afford to live here
    (1-bedroom in the West Village) rather than here
    (studio in Newark, Jersey City).

4. The Rebel Geek

advertisement

Description

This is the hacker who smokes a lot of weed, has a part-time
job as a bike messenger weaving in and out of traffic, and plays bike polo on the weekends
in the Lower East Side. If there are rules, he’ll break them. If something is
supposedly impossible to figure out, he’ll seek to prove you wrong. He doesn’t give a shit what you or The Man
thinks.

Distinctive Traits

  • Tattoos. Usually the half- or full-sleeve
    variety.
  • His laptop-toting accessory of choice is any
    messenger bag made by Chrome.

Attractive Qualities

  • He is well-traveled. Lonely
    Planet
    is too mainstream for him. He backpacked through the Annapurna
    without a Sherpa.
  • CPI
    compliance
    is a dare to the Rebel Geek. His spyware may have stolen
    your credit card number, but he means no harm.

5. The Design Snob Geek

Description

This is the geek who should’ve attended RISD, or studied architecture, but chose a
computer science major instead. He’s been regretting that decision ever since. So
the next best alternative is to read a lot of design magazines, put on a pair
of super skinny jeans from Top
Man
, and lament the general lack of good design and good “look-and-feel” of
UI’s, UX’s, and all things displeasing to the eye.

advertisement

Distinctive Traits

  • As a freelance web designer, he frequently
    complains about his clients for just not “getting it” about web user
    experience. “Those idiots are constantly changing their requirements on me.”
  • Preferred eyewear is trendy dark plastic frames
    a la Elvis Costello.

Attractive Qualities

  • In spite of his moodiness and general
    irritability, the male Design Snob Geek is likely in touch with his feminine
    side.
  • Knows all the cool places to hang out in
    Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

6. The “Offspring of the
Tiger Mother” Geek

Description

This is the geek who grew up having overachievement beaten
into him by an oppressive parent who espouses the Tiger
Mother
method of raising kids. So, basically, not only can this geek write
code in 5 different programming languages and get a perfect score on the GRE, he’s
semi-pro on the violin, and he can still kick your ass in judo.

Distinctive Traits

  • This geek is not always Asian, but most likely
    will be.
  • He attended an Ivy League school.

Attractive Qualities

advertisement
  • Although he has a low tolerance for stupidity, he’s
    forgiving.
  • He doesn’t buy into the whole Asian fetish
    thing. He’ll be more impressed by your IQ than your looks or ethnicity.

7. The Movie Geek

A variation of this geek-type is the Literary Geek. As a
teenager, the Movie Geek spent his summers in sedentary jobs at movie rental
stores, book stores, and libraries–basically jobs which afforded him the time
to read a lot, hack, and watch a shitload of classical movies normal people
wouldn’t care to watch.

Distinctive Traits

  • The Movie/Literary Geek tends to quote or make
    reference to obscure or cultish movies such as Star Trek, The Big Lebowski, Donny Darko, and Blade Runner.
  • With one hand holding up a Kindle or iPad, and
    another gripping the overhead railing, this geek can read without a single break
    in concentration, even in a tightly packed subway.

Attractive Qualities

  • With a refined penchant for spotting irony,
    artistic homages, foreshadows, and other literary/cinematic devices, the Movie
    Geek will have an appreciation for even the most seemingly mundane things in
    life.

8. The Euro Geek

Description

Just in case you didn’t know, there actually are geeks outside of
San Francisco, Boston, and NYC. For example, in one hack day, there was a good
turnout of geeks from London, Barcelona, Paris, and Berlin.

advertisement

Distinctive Traits

  • Euro Geeks are immediately identifiable by their
    funny little accents, nicer haircuts, and a certain fashionable je ne sais quoi in their choice of
    clothes.

Attractive Qualities

  • Ladies, if metrosexual
    men are your thing, definitely try to snag yourself a Euro Geek.
  • Multilingual + a PhD in computer science. What
    could be sexier?
  • For some reason, Euro Geeks aren’t as dismissive
    of Americans and American culture as normal Europeans. Perhaps it’s because
    technical skill supersedes cultural sensibility from a Euro Geek’s perspective.

9. The Hardcore Geek

Description

At most hackathons, the average geek begins hacking in the
morning, and fades out around midnight. He returns early the next day for
another round of hacking. But you’re not really considered hardcore unless you
keep hacking until the next morning. Hardcore Geeks don’t ever go home during a
hackathon. The most sleep to which they ever treat themselves is an hour or two
with their head on their desk, or sprawled out on any available flat surface. That’s a hardcore geek.

Distinctive Traits

  • A puddle of drool next to the computer.
  • The usual signs of extreme sleep deprivation
    such as uncontrollable cravings for unhealthy, fatty, and sugary carbohydrates
    to sustain a high level of alertness.

Attractive Qualities

advertisement
  • In time of need, Hardcore Geeks always come through.

10. The Rocker Geek

Description

I didn’t know this subspecies of geek existed until I
attended Music Hack Day. The Rocker Geek, in my opinion, sits at the top of the
geek pecking order because he is not only king
of code
, but also king of cool.
This geek codes by day, and DJs by night. He can program a drum loop that makes
Prodigy and Moby sound like Nintendo. He scoffs at Rockstar and Rockband
because he prefers real instruments.

Distinctive Traits

  • Goatee with a good dab of pomade.
  • Calluses on fingertips due to frequent guitar
    playing and computer use.

Attractive Qualities

  • Your friends may warn you against dating
    musicians, but you can ignore them this time. This multi-talented geek can win
    your heart with a song, and troubleshoot your computer on demand.

Conclusion

Lady-geeks do exist. My point is that there just aren’t enough of them showing up. So, Miss Hacker Lady-Geek, do show up at the next hackathon. And join your sisters.

advertisement

Jeffery To is an NYC-based corporate entrepreneur and IBM Innovator Award Winner who decided just now that he ought to startup PimpDatGeek.com which would match lady-geeks and dude-geeks at hackathons. Shoot him a note at PimpDatGeek@gmail.com if you want to someday be a beta user.

Photo credits: A huge thanks to Thomas Bonte for great pics of real geeks from Music Hack Day.

About the author

Jeff is a Certified Trained Lean Six Sigma Black Belt with a focus on finding new ways to apply technologies related to process improvement – situations which demand entrepreneurial thinking, a deep understanding of the financial impact of technology decisions, and collaboration with strategic partners. At IBM's Retail Emerging Business Opportunity Group, a corporate "startup", Jeff launched an SMB-focused business which later grew to account for 20% of EBO revenues worldwide.

More

Video