Congress Stops ShamWow, Snuggie Ads From SCREAMING AT YOU

Sick of advertisers from Bender & Bender to ShamWow jacking up the VOLUME on you during commercial breaks? It’s the bane of every couch potato’s existence, and a tool shameless marketers use to grab your attention by amping up an ad’s decibels. Finally, however, before energy, immigration, and jobs, Washington has passed television reform. This is one prized piece of legislation that most every mid-term candidate is sure to tout come November.

Aptly named the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act (CALM), the bill, passed Thursday by the Senate, puts a limit on the volume of television commercials, banning advertisers from raising the volume louder than regular programming. The FCC will be in charge of regulating the new legislation. CALM will now head back to the House, which passed an earlier version of the bill in December, before it will land on President Obama’s desk. After decades of pointless struggle, finally TV lovers won’t jump out of their seats while watching re-runs of To Catch A Predator at two in the morning.

“Every American has likely experienced the frustration of abrasively loud television commercials,” said Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island. “While this may be an effective way for ads to grab attention, it also adds unnecessary stress to the daily lives of many Americans. Last night’s action in the Senate will help end this annoying practice.”

For parents who finally manage to get their kids to sleep, this legislation will be a god-send, once and fall all ending noisy infomercials from waking their children. Still, although it’s impressive whenever Washington manages to pass a bill, the fact that it has taken this long for legislation to go through–for something we all agree on–is a testament to how disjointed Congress is.AC