It seems advertisers are hell-bent on making the commercial breaks that separate fans from Mad Men and Jersey Shore the longest, most excruciating minutes of our lives. In the last year, we’ve suffered through Progressive’s painful spokeswoman Flo squawking about insurance and awkward State Farm ads that remind us in depressing terms just how bankrupt we all are from the recession (“Our real national past-time? Saving money!”).
Thankfully, The Consumerist has been keeping track. Out today are their nominations for the Worst Ads of 2010, a list of some of the most mind-blowingly stupid commercials plaguing America’s airwaves. We’ve pulled a collection of some of the worst–head here to vote for your favorites, er, least favorites rather.
ABSOLUTE WORST AD IN AMERICA
Staples: “Wow! That’s a Low Price!”
Why: Wow! That’s a loud yell! About a dumb joke! And no one’s actually buying anything! And hey! Now another guy is yelling!
Progressive: “Flo Dishes Out Discounts”
Why: … With a side of botulism! Or at least it feels like it when everyone’s wacky aunt attempts to make insurance fun ‘n’ quirky!
Honda – Mr. Opportunity – “Paparazzi”
Why: The hack-y cartoon character that looks like he stepped out of the funny papers in 1970 wouldn’t be so bad if he was just the embodiment of a good pun. Missed opportunity.
Quiznos: “Singimals — Starring Kittens”
Why: So, wait. The sandwiches are made of cat food? There’s actual cat in them? Confused. Not hungry.
State Farm – “Pocket Agent”
Why: The dynamic between these two is just terribly awkward. I don’t want a State Farm agent, and I certainly don’t want one in my pocket.
MOST GRATING PERFORMANCE BY A HUMAN
1-800 Dentist: The last woman on Earth you’d want in the elevator with you
Why: It’s impossible to watch without cringing.
5-Hour Energy: Mr. “Do You Know What 2:30 Feels Like?”
Why: For an ad showing how groggy we feel at 2:30, this spokesperson is pretty perky, jumping from one cubicle to the next. If I worked with this guy, I’d chug a bottle of 5-Hour and slap him in the face.
McDonald’s: The “Not Until I’ve Had My Coffee” jerkface
Why: Joke’s on him when he’s an obese diabetes-suffering Grimace-lookalike by age 35.
Why: “You know when it’s real” is Wendy’s tagline. Too bad this back-and-forth between two of the fast food chain’s employees feels totally fake and, well, annoying.
Nationwide Insurance: The World’s Greatest Spokesperson In the World
Why: The crappy cousin and poor rip-off of the Dos Equis and Old Spice guys.