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Dorsal-Finned Rupert Murdoch Attacks Sad Arthur Sulzberger in CGI Deathmatch

A shark man! Cash cannons! Mexican stereotypes! A dance-off! The New York Times and Wall Street Journal could both learn a few things from Next Action Media about sexing up a dull story.

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Rupert Murdoch has a shark fin. He circles the Statue of Liberty and climbs onto land, flanked by a swarm of yellow helicopters. He’s come to take down the New York Times in an epic battle, complete with money-blasting canons, women in red dresses, and poorly dressed reporters.

This is the latest CGI video released by Next Action Media, a Hong Kong-based media company that releases animated versions of the news. “Wall Street Journal takes on New York Times” was released earlier today and takes a look at the possible demise of the New York Times at the hands (or fin) of the Wall Street Journal.

The tale opens with a frazzled Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger Jr., who, according to perky narration, cut local coverage to save money. He also pressed his “cut jobs” button, dropping the floor out from under his nervous reporters.

Meanwhile, at the Wall Street Journal, Murdoch and a failed version of a sexy woman (his wife, Wendi Deng?) in a red dress parade out their canon and fire cash into a scene transition reminiscent of early PowerPoint. Enter the armies: Rupert Murdoch and his suit-wearing reporters face off in a West Side Story dance-fight against the jacketless New York Times writers and potential buyer Carlos Slim, topped with a sombrero (in this version of reality, not even billions of dollars worth of success can save Slim from Mexican stereotypes).

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The newspapers take their battle to cyberspace–though it’s already there, of course, in this lovely production–as they try to knock each other of the mysterious Internet realm. “While the two newspapers duke it out,” the narrator tells us, “the media environment is rapidly changing.” The metaphor for that change, of course, is a caged bird pooping on a copy of the Wall Street Journal.

“More and more New Yorkers are turning to the Internet for news rather than newspapers,” the narrator explains. (Not to mention CGI re-inactments!) We see a woman–and she must be a New Yorker, since the rest of the country doesn’t seem to have the Internet or newspapers–lounging with her iPad, whose screen reads, “The Daily Rehash, copy this paste that.”

The moral of the story: Rupert Murdoch is a poorly disguised shark.

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