When did energy drinks get weird? When they arrived on the scene, I swear they were straightforward sports products with zappy names. Now there’s Zombie Blood. Seriously: Zombie Blood. But is it a real thing or a marketing ploy for a different product?
Apparently Zombie Brains is all about “4 grams of whey protein, caffeine and not even a trace of brains.” Hmmm. What does it do to you? It “delivers up to four hours of energy,” presumably in a human-digestible format, rather than stuff to power your car, and it’s packed with “green zombie blood cells” that “helped zombies to become the strongest, most horrifying scourge on the face of our planet. These cells temporarily give you zombie strength in the form of additional energy for sports, long workdays, late night studying, or ironically, killing zombies with a cricket bat.” It comes in a specimen bag-style pouch, and there’s even an eco angle to the product–it’s “contributing to the efficient recycling of otherwise useless zombies that would just litter landfills.”
Masterful…I want some right now–hook me up with a veinload or two. But before you do, tell me who’s behind this technological leap? Harcos labs, ostensibly, a pair of “gamer geeks who discovered new innovation at the intersection where gaming and consumer products meet with the launch of their first vitamin/energy beverage Mana energy Potion…” Okay then. I’ll buy it, try it. I may even join the Zombie Blood communities on Twitter or Facebook.
But I have to admit that though this all sounds wonderful, there’s a little zombie alarm bell ringing at the back of what remains of my mind. Is this real? Or are we looking at an advanced bit of PR, a stealth marketing fake plant that’s the bleeding edge of an advertising campaign for an as-yet unrevealed product? Possibly something as boring as an LCD HDTV? We’re trying to dig up the makers of Zombie Blood to find out for you. Don’t worry, we’ve got shotguns and chainsaws at the ready should things turn nasty.