Jon Stewart on the Gizmodo iPhone Saga: “Is Apple Becoming ‘The Man’?”

New York Times, Wall Street Journal, BBC–all fine news organizations, to be sure. But the surefire sign a story’s made it out into the zeitgeist is when our nation’s premier fake journalist, Jon Stewart, makes fun of it.


Just a few hours ago, Jon Stewart started off his Thursday episode of The Daily Show with an extended bit on the Gizmodo iPhone saga we’ve all been following so closely. The video:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

First of all, much congratulations to Jason Chen (my former boss) for getting a not-particularly-flattering shot of himself sitting at a desk, staring into a laptop screen, onto the show. For those who, due to having a job that frowns on staying informed with the important news of the day (fascist!), can’t watch that video, here’s a partial transcript:

“Apple – you guys were the rebels, man, the underdogs. People
believed in you. But now, are you becoming the man? Remember back in
1984, you had those awesome ads about overthrowing Big Brother? Look in
the mirror, man! …It wasn’t supposed to be this way – Microsoft was
supposed to be the evil one! But you guys are busting down doors in Palo
Alto while Commandant Gates is ridding the world of mosquitoes! What
the fuck is going on?!

…I know that it is slightly agitating that a blog dedicated to
technology published all that stuff about your new phone. And you didn’t
order the police to bust down the doors, right? I’d be pissed too, but
you didn’t have to go all Minority Report on his ass! I mean, if
you wanna break down someone’s door, why don’t you start with AT&T,
for God sakes? They make your amazing phone unusable as a phone! I mean,
seriously! How do you drop four calls in a one-mile stretch of the West
Side Highway! There’re no buildings around! What, does the open space
confuse AT&T’s signal?!

…Come on, Steve. Chill out with the paranoid corporate genius stuff.
Don’t go all Howard Hughes on us.”

The best part of the segment isn’t in there, unfortunately–Jon takes out his iPad, iPhone, and MacBook to demonstrate his usual fondness for Apple, and then says he mostly just uses his iPad to convince his kids he’s shrinking by holding it up to his face like a phone. Bam! Anyway, it’s a pretty good segment, even if a “there’s an app for that” joke sneaks in like a moldy apple at the bottom of the bag. 


Here’s what he didn’t mention: we here at Fast Company worked really hard on an eminently silly look at the situation, for our “Choose Your Own Adventure” style narrative. What’s a guy gotta do around here to get some air time? Pay for news?

Dan Nosowitz, the author of this post, can be followed on Twitter, corresponded with via email, and stalked in San Francisco (no link for that one–you’ll have to do the legwork yourself).


About the author

Dan Nosowitz is a freelance writer and editor who has written for Popular Science, The Awl, Gizmodo, Fast Company, BuzzFeed, and elsewhere. He holds an undergraduate degree from McGill University and currently lives in Brooklyn, because he has a beard and glasses and that's the law


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