• 03.24.10

GameCrush: The Gamer’s Version of Phone Sex Is Somehow Sadder Than Regular Phone Sex

Oh, dear God. GameCrush, a service somewhere in between Xbox Live, phone sex, and crying into a pillow, launched today. Prepare to be offended and/or depressed!


Here’s how pathetic GameCrush is: it modeled its service after the behavior of a desperate man trying to get a girl’s attention at a bar by buying her an eight-dollar drink. But in reality, it’s more of a gamer’s phone sex line, dressed in Ed Hardy.


GameCrush charges a whopping $8.25 per 6 to 10 minutes of chat time with a female “gamer” (or, more likely, female opportunist with a high tolerance for sweaty nerditude) who are called, no lie, “PlayDates.” These PlayDates (try to control the full-body shudder you should be experiencing every time you read those words) are paid around $30 an hour and have the option of branding themselves “flirty” or “dirty,” just in case anybody had any hope left that this was just a gamer’s dating service. Customers can then rate the PlayDates on their “hotness, gaming skills, and flirtatiousness.”

The 18-and-over service will first support Modern Warfare 2, Gears of War 2, Grand Theft Auto IV, and Halo 3 on the Xbox 360, with other games and other platforms soon to follow. GameCrush also supports little Flash games, which have the added bonus of supporting video chat. The Flash games are six minutes long, and the normal games are 10 minutes per session, which could definitely bring in a ton of cash if the service catches on.

GameCrush goes live today.

About the author

Dan Nosowitz is a freelance writer and editor who has written for Popular Science, The Awl, Gizmodo, Fast Company, BuzzFeed, and elsewhere. He holds an undergraduate degree from McGill University and currently lives in Brooklyn, because he has a beard and glasses and that's the law.