Last October, WikiLeaks got a hold of the U.K.’s Ministry of Defense’s Defence Manual of Security, a 2,400-page, restricted document designed to help government officials “maintain information security in the
face of hackers, journalists, foreign spies, and others.” And this morning, the site published a 32-page U.S. counterintelligence investigation, which included plans to “damage and destroy” WikiLeaks’ “center of gravity.” Why does this keep happening?!
Blame the moles
According to U.K. report, information usually leaks via “disaffected members of staff, or as a result of the attentions of an investigative journalist, or simply by accident or carelessness.” The U.S. report echoes that sentiment: “The possibility that current employees within DoD or elsewhere…are providing sensitive or classified information to WikiLeaks cannot be ruled out.” So, naturally, the solution is to release a document that explicitly talks about how to stop moles. Which, of course, the moles will see, and then leak. Because that’s what moles do.
Blame the report
Okay, I’m no expert in classified documents, but if the governments really didn’t want these reports to leak, why did they give them such obvious titles? Like, “WikiLeaks.org–An Online Reference to Foreign Intelligence Services, Insurgents, or Terrorist Groups?” Was “Hey, WikiLeakers–The Most Perfect, Leaktastic Document Ever To Not Yet Be Leaked” taken? That’s just begging to wind up on the Internet. What happened to code names? And anagrams? And ciphers? Don’t these people read Dan Brown novels?!
Blame the Chinese
In the U.K. report, the Chinese are singled out for having “a
voracious appetite for all kinds of information; political, military,
commercial, scientific and technical.” So, you know, it was probably them.
Blame the irony
Every so often, a news story breaks that’s so hilariously ironic, you have to wonder if–to some extent–it was simply meant to be. (See: Anti-Gay State Sen. Got DUI After Leaving Gay Nightclub; Octomom Calls Kate Gosselin An “Attention-Whore.”) Sorry, governments, but Classified “How To Stop Leaks” Document Leaks Onto Internet makes a welcome addition.