You know times are tough when a best-selling plastic icon who has been steadily working since 1959 finds herself unemployed. Maybe the lifeguard thing was seasonal. Perhaps she was honorably discharged as a Marine Corps officer. Why she gave up her lucrative career as a soda fountain waitress, no one knows, but we all know the multiple presidential runs didn’t work out. Then again, for someone who’s had 120 jobs in the last 50 years, that doesn’t really show any kind of long-term dedication, does it?
At any rate, Barbie is looking for a job and she needs your help. Choose from forward-looking careers like Environmentalist (“works to protect the planet, conserve energy, help animals and more!”) and Computer Engineer (“They can do anything from building computers to making video games!”). But we think Barbie might be exceptionally suited to be an Architect since her very being is a mastery of structural impossibility.
We’re actually kind of surprised that she hasn’t been a News Anchor yet, but we’re not seeing a real competitive advantage for her there: She looks exactly the same as everyone else in TV news.