Even if you’re a Star Wars freak, have you ever stopped to consider the design merits of all the gear depicted in the movie? No? You’re in luck, because sci-fi writer John Scalzi has, and he’s compiled a list of the ten most epic fails in Star Wars design.
Here he is on the Storm Trooper uniform:
They stand out like a sore thumb in every environment but snow, the
helmets restrict view (“I can’t see a thing in this helmet!”–Luke
Skywalker), and the armor is penetrable by single shots from blasters.
Add it all up and you have to wonder why stormtroopers don’t just walk
around naked, save for blinders and flip-flops.
And on lightsabers:
Yes, I know, I want one too. But I tell you what: I want one with a
hand guard. Otherwise every lightsaber battle would consist of sabers
clashing and then their owners sliding as quickly as possible down the
shaft to lop off their opponent’s fingers. You say: Lightsabers can
slice through anything but another lightsaber, so what are you going to
make a hand guard out of? I say: Dude, if you have the technology to
make a lightsaber, you have the technology to make a light hand guard.
And on R2-D2:
Sure, he’s cute, but the flaws in his design are obvious the first time
he approaches anything but the shallowest of stairs. Also: He has jets,
a periscope, a taser and oil canisters to make enforcer droids fall
about in slapsticky fashion–and no voice synthesizer. Imagine that design
conversation: “Yes, we can afford slapstick oil and tasers, but we’ll
never get a 30-cent voice chip past accounting. That’s just madness.”
Check out the other seven–you’ll be happy you did.