I’m not sure what the history of “excuses” is, except to know that a majority of the time excuses equal some sort of self-dishonestly.
They’re part of what we thought we “should do” vs. being a “must do”! Excuses come from us not being able to take our own “no’s”. They’re what we say to people so that we “don’t hurt their feelings”. Excuses are what we say so that others don’t hurt us. Excuses are part of what we’re tolerating in our life (that which draws out our energy and squashes it)!
Excuses come back to haunt us unless we look at them as gifts from clients or friends or even ourselves. Have you ever received an excuse for “something” and thought — Is that person kidding with that excuse? Why didn’t they just say NO? OH! … I am doing the same thing to “so and so”.
Say NO!!! Sometimes saying “NO” to someone means saying “YES” to someone even more important — YOU!
What can you do when you give someone a “no” that they don’t accept? Take the time to think about what type of answers you can give and things you can do to protect your boundaries so that you can raise your standards. Check out these Top Ten Lists about boundaries. They are just wonderful! “Things to say pleasantly when people attempt to invade your boundaries” by Coach Diana Robinson, Ph.D.
www.topten.org/public/BG/BG1.html and another
wonderful Top Ten by Coach Dennis Tesdell
This month, write down all the excuses you hear yourself giving others and giving yourself. Look for the patterns. Are you not setting boundaries? Are you setting boundaries and the person isn’t listening? Are you setting boundaries and you’re not enforcing those boundaries? Or what other patterns do you see.
And remember: Yes, No and Maybe are all complete sentences.
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© 2009 Maria Marsala is a Strategic Business Advisor, Speaker, Author and former Wall Street Trader. She supports and teaches high-achieving, big thinking business women to expand their businesses strategically and get results — faster. See where your business is leaking profits. Take our Business Check up today at www.ElevatingYourBusiness.com