The device should be ready within months, enabling the President, the First Lady and top aides to email, text, stream video, and browse the Web, all with a security apparatus that meets Top Secret standards. The software, called SecureVoice and developed by Genesis Key, Inc., turns any BlackBerry Curve or 8830 (the President prefers the latter, so we hear) into a secure handheld. The updated device–the first of its kind–will replace the President’s current setup, a standard BlackBerry plugged into another NSA-provided encryption device whose appearance and clumsiness is decidedly unbecoming of the most tech-savvy President in history.
Of course, President Obama was forced to give up his old BlackBerry after Inauguration Day for fear that foreign governments or hackers might intercept sensitive information. Now, when the leader of the free world is Facebooking LOLcats over to the Joint Chiefs, China will be none the wiser.