Dear Dr. G,

I'm a highly successful business leader, and I'm not using my name because everyone knows it. I'm talented, I've worked hard, and I deserve my reputation as a power player in the business world because I'm willing to take risks that others won't. I'm one of the few "Oh yeah? Just watch me!" people who routinely do the impossible. I'm at my best when conventional wisdom and conventional rules just don't cut it.

My problem is that the risks I take professionally earn admiration, but those that I take privately -- like gambling, getting high, having affairs once in a while -- are causing embarrassment and humiliation. And it's getting worse.

I know I'm a basically good guy, but I have to admit that I have hurt more than a few people along the way. To be honest, I've even betrayed some of the people who have trusted and cared about me most, and I've lied to cover it up.

In my heart, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that I've always done things my way, and my way works so incredibly well -- at least professionally. The worst part is how much I've hurt my family and friends.

I'm afraid that if I let some shrink start playing around with my personality, I'll lose that competitive edge that made me successful in the first place. But I've got to do something. What?

-- Exception to the Rules in Los Angeles

Dear Exception,

Here's your choice. You're either immoral or you're sick. Pick your poison. But if you're really a bad person, I doubt you would have written.

Over the past 10 years, I've treated many business leaders with problems painfully similar to yours. All those people were powerful, driven, and successful. They also hurt people without really meaning to. There have been so many of them lately that I came up with a name for the condition: OCB. You may have heard of OCD, which stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCB stands for Obsessive Compulsive Bipolar. It's more of a condition than a disorder because OCBs often function quite highly, even though their personal lives are usually a mess.

They differ from pure bipolar (or manic-depressive) people. When bipolar people become manic, they go off the deep end into psychosis, occasionally breaking the law and frequently ending up in a hospital. Even so, they do it with a smile, because they feel invincible and free when they are manic.

OCBs don't go to those extremes. Their obsessive-compulsive traits work like emergency brakes, pulling them back just before they go over either edge. People with OCB don't lose touch with reality, just with common sense.

Generally regarded as exceptional because of their formidable abilities, they come to believe they're exceptions to the rules that apply to everyone else. They tend to disregard the possible consequences of their behavior. Sometimes they're even surprised when those consequences are disastrous.

Compelled to seek the exhilaration of their "controlled" mania, their life becomes like a roller coaster. They don't get real joy or contentment on the ride, but it is exciting, and they're not necessarily unhappy.

It's their friends, partners (usually female, because OCB men outnumber women four to one), and children who are miserable. It's they who must live with the OCB's unpredictability, his inability to give them undivided attention, his lack of emotional understanding, and his failure to make good on promises to reform.