While you were sleeping, innovation was reviewing its quality-control policy down at the factory, before jumping in a robot-controlled van and heading out to the car wash.
1. What is it about BP and its ongoing relationship with the phrase "up to its neck in s***"? The leak from the Deepwater well may have slowed to a trickle, but there's no end of doctored photos  to cheer up those of you missing the oil firm's status as summer's top whipping boy. WaPo puts the figure  of federal government workers-turned-oil lobbyists at around 75%, while Transocean, the firm operating the Deepwater rig, surveyed its workers to find out if they were happy with safety practices. No, they weren't . Meanwhile, BP is sending out invoices to its partners in the Deepwater rig. It's safe to say that they're large . Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, China is suffering its own oilsplosion .
2. Apple is, apparently, "evil ". This is according to Fred Wilson, managing partner of Union Square Ventures. The firm has, perhaps stung by the past month's criticism of it, recruited a quality control dude . Looking into the firm's power cords  might be a good place to start. Jeff Williams, formerly of IBM, is now Senior VP of Operations. The firm's location tracker on some of its devices has already bagged itself the world's unluckiest thief, who cycled up to an iPhone-toting woman, performed a snatch-'n'-grab--and was promptly nabbed by the fuzz .
3. Any hitchhikers looking to travel between Italy and China, but without having to make polite conversation with a driver ("So, do you do this route often?" "May I compliment you on your stick-shift technique?" "Why is there a child lock on the passenger door?") might want to keep their eyes peeled for two orange vans . They're robot cars, and they're leaving from in front of Milan Cathedral next Tuesday. Destination is Shanghai.
4. Undaunted by the less-than-sparkling reviews that its Windows Phone 7 has garnered, Microsoft is offering its 90,000 workers worldwide a free  Windows Phone 7 device. Does that count as sales?
5. At the Cow Wash . Woah, woah woah woah. A note to employers--this is how to make your workers happy.