Players in the design world bring their A-game to the Milan Furniture Fair. But "A-game" is a relative term--and for every Kobe Bryant, there's also a Manute Bol. For every amazing piece of eye candy there’s always one so outrageous it makes you wonder: What. The. F***?

Here, Joep van Lieshout's lamp, depicting a man whose intestines are exploding out of his abdomen. Even creepier in person was the sculpture’s extremely realistic-looking teeth.

The most lamentable trend of the year was manufacturers who couldn’t resist monkeying with perfectly good products. Zanotta sheathed its famed Sacco chair—designed by Piero Gatti in 1968 and part of the MoMA’s permanent collection—in a patchwork of cut-up anoraks. It's essentially a beanbag chair made of (and for) windbreakers.

...while Quinze partnered with Eastpak to add backpack-like protrusions to a matching sofa. Almost as silly as Eastpak’s recent collab with the Misshapes, but not quite. Witness: the sofa version of cargo pants.

Italian megabrand Cappellini made a similar transgression for the sake of a new partnership with Disney, slapping Mickey ears onto the back of the otherwise elegant Ribbon stool designed by the Japanese firm Nendo in 2007. Our lower back may thank them, but our eyes feel a little betrayed.

British architect Nigel Coates was responsible for two bizarre designs at this year’s fair. One was this stool that comes with what looks like two giant testicles…

…And the other was his kooky Animalia collection for Fratelli Boffi, which included a modular sofa upholstered with hunting tapestries...

...a stool in the shape of a giraffe, and a set of “Sharky Shelves” skinned in the actual fish’s hide. In a press release, the company boasts of how well the new designs fit into its signature “ironic fairytale spirit.” Since when does irony excuse ugliness?

Four-leaf clovers, parrots, and giant hands are just a few motifs rendered in crushed silk velvet for the Italian mosaic-maker Sicis’s new furniture collection, by artist Carla Tolomeo. High five!

...Bird crap sold separately...

...They're mah-geh-clee deee-licious!

Designed by Lazlo LL Papp for the producer Bashir, these contraptions glowered at passersby from the windows of the Roberto Cavalli store...

....The one resembling a wooden ribcage is actually a baby’s crib. Congratulations, Mr. Burton, it's a chest-burster!

Gaetano Pesce may be a design legend, but unlike Marcel Wanders, his style is anything but predictable: While his gorgeous new collection of furniture was debuting across town at the Triennale, he was launching this faux-Chia-Pet sofa for Meritalia at the fair itself. The target demographic is anyone’s guess—blind werewolves, perhaps.

Also at the Meritalia booth was this chair by Italo Rota, which the designer describes as “uterine and sensual.” Three layers of memory foam padding in its seat make it feel just like the real thing. (If you've never felt the real thing.)

Wallpaper magazine may have devoted its entire back page to calling Fabio Novembre’s His & Hers chairs—which are sculpted into the shape of headless seated nudes—the worst design of 2009. But that didn’t stop the whimsical Italian from completing his anatomical study this year with the Nemo chair for Driade, which takes a particularly freaky page from Eyes Wide Shut. (The password is not "Fidelio.")