Warren Bennis

Distinguished professor of business administration and founding chairman of the Leadership Institute, University of Southern California

I stalked my college president as a mentor. I was 22 when I entered Antioch College, and I was weighted down by my four years as an infantry officer in World War II. I watched leaders do damage to their followers. We were playing for mortal stakes, and I saw leadership at its best and worst. I had all of these ideas sitting within me, and I couldn't easily conceptualize or talk about them.

Doug McGregor, then Antioch's president, helped me. His thinking illuminated an area of study -- leadership, organizational development, group dynamics -- that I wouldn't have known existed. He pulled qualities from me that I didn't know were present. He not only recognized my potential, but he also gave me confidence. And he made it clear to people that I was a guy to watch.

But here's the thing: I went after him. Initially, I positioned myself so that Doug had to notice me, and then I practically forced him to teach me stuff that I thought I had observed in the infantry. By senior year, he was giving me a one-on-one seminar, and I was his inescapable protégé.

Being mentored isn't a passive game. It's nothing less than the ability to spot the handful of people who can make all the difference in your life.

Tim Murphy

Head football coach, Harvard University

My first mentor was a boyhood friend, Buddy Teevens, who I'm still close to. He came from a more secure, educated, athletic background, and he taught me that there is no substitute for work ethic and confidence. My high-school coach, John Montosi, gave me a lot of self-esteem. And Rick Taylor, the football coach at Boston University where I was an assistant and the director of athletics at the University of Cincinnati where I was head coach, understood the importance of not compromising principles.

I still enjoy spending time with all three of them. A few weeks ago, my son and I saw Buddy, who happens to be the head coach at Stanford. Tomorrow, I am playing golf with my high-school coach, and this weekend, I am going to a function for Coach Taylor, who is retiring as the director of athletics at Northwestern University.

I've found that mentoring is like being a parent. I don't see my role as trying to be someone's buddy. Sometimes 18-, 19-, 20-year-olds think they have all the answers, and it's not until they go through the bumps in life that they realize what I or anyone else told them was good advice after all.

Mentoring can happen formally, when people seek specific guidance. But informally, you are going to be a mentor in terms of how you live your own life. With children and players, I don't try to please them. I treat them with respect and expect the same in return. And I give them this advice: Choose your friends wisely, and as Winston Churchill said, "Never, never, never give up."