Who Ever Said Comedy Had To Be Fun?

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Humor

You might think that the creative process would get easier for Burnett. After all, he helped create thousands of hours of television for Letterman as a writer, head writer, producer, and executive producer -- first with Late Night on NBC and later with The Late Show on CBS -- and helped Letterman win a remarkable five consecutive Emmys.

You might think that Burnett could keep his artistic angst at a safe distance now, since he is, after all, president and CEO of Worldwide Pants, Letterman's production company.

You might think that there would simply be no time for Burnett to agonize over the timing of a photo montage (not to mention the quality of the photos), since he serves as an executive producer on The Late Show as well as on Ed. But, as Ed's childhood buddy Mike likes to say, "That's a load of hooey."

Turning ideas into something tangible, getting a show out of his imagination and down on paper and then on film, is an ongoing challenge for Burnett. The end result rarely looks the way it's supposed to. And that, he concedes, is "heartbreaking."

"With Rob, the glass is always half-empty," says Ray Romano, the star of Everybody Loves Raymond, the top-rated comedy on CBS and a Worldwide Pants production. "When we talk, we'll congratulate each other on our shows, but he's never fully satisfied with his."

Take the pilot episode of Ed, which Burnett and Beckerman wrote and rewrote (and rewrote) for NBC. The first time they saw it, they left the screening room in Los Angeles and immediately called Letterman in New York. Not out of some sense of euphoria or triumph. Out of panic.

"It's over," Burnett told Letterman. "We just wasted nine months."

"Can we sue anybody?" Letterman joked. At least, it seemed like a joke. He suggested that Burnett and Beckerman get busy fixing the pilot the same way that they used to routinely salvage Late Show segments. "Get in there and edit the thing," he told them.

It's difficult to say who wears the pants at Worldwide Pants. Burnett insists that it's Letterman, since every decision is based on his taste, his standards. Once, when pressed for a specific title by an industry directory, Letterman asked to be listed as "comptroller." (The man does have an inspired touch.) It is Burnett who runs the day-to-day operation, keeping tabs on the company's current shows -- The Late Show, Everybody Loves Raymond, Ed, and The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn -- and developing new projects, including a sitcom, a children's cartoon, and a documentary. And he does it all while writing, rewriting, or editing a 50-to-60-page script for Ed -- every eight days.

Worldwide Pants was formed when Letterman made his notorious switch from NBC to CBS. Because CBS was so eager to land the late-night star, he was able to negotiate a rare deal: He owns The Late Show, and CBS pays Worldwide Pants a handsome license fee to deliver episodes of the show. Behind the silly name -- Letterman's idea -- was a desire to retain the show's talent. At NBC, a number of Late Night writers had jumped ship to work for Seinfeld and The Simpsons.

Because The Late Show and Everybody Loves Raymond keep Worldwide Pants' pockets rather full, there is no pressure to churn out new shows. The staff is small by design. There's Letterman, Burnett, and COO Jim Peterson in New York. There are two more people in development in Los Angeles (including Burnett's brother, Steven) and a handful of legal and administrative staffers. Burnett can nurture a project as long as is necessary. Indeed, during the past eight years, the company has created just six shows.

Although Burnett and Letterman obviously want their shows to succeed, they don't consider short-lived shows such as The High Life (one season on HBO) and Welcome to New York (one season on CBS) to be failures just because they didn't manage to become Raymond-like hits. Rather, the two men chalk it up to being in a tough, fickle business in which failure is far more common than success.

The primary mission at Worldwide Pants is to make top-notch shows. "The company runs by a simple mantra," says Burnett. "Will Dave like it? If not, we won't do it. The world doesn't need another mediocre TV show."

The key to fostering quality? "Our philosophy is to find people we like, respect, and trust and protect them from idiots, who crop up everywhere in show business," Burnett says. That means knowing when to be hands-on and when to be hands-off. While he rarely calls the set of Raymond anymore, for example, Burnett still conducts Monday-morning meetings at The Late Show and talks to someone at the Ed Sullivan Theater, often Letterman himself, just about every day. He and Kilborn speak every other week, on average. Burnett, who TiVos the Kilborn show, passes along feedback as well as the occasional idea. "I know their type of humor, which is great, but mine's different, and Rob encourages that," says Kilborn. "I've worked at a lot of places, and he's one of my favorite people to work for."