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What Should I Do With My Life?

By: Po BronsonWed Dec 19, 2007 at 12:38 AM
The real meaning of success -- and how to find it.

The point is, being smarter doesn't make answering The Question easier. Using the brain to solve this problem usually only leads to answers that make the brain happy and jobs that provide what I call "brain candy." Intense mental stimulation. But it's just that: candy . A synthetic substitute for other types of gratification that can be ultimately more rewarding and enduring. As the cop in East L.A. said of his years in management at Rockwell, "It was like cheap wood that burns too fast."

I struggled with this myself, but not until I had listened to hundreds of others did the pattern make itself shockingly clear. What am I good at? is the wrong starting point. People who attempt to deduce an answer usually end up mistaking intensity for passion. To the heart, they are vastly different. Intensity comes across as a pale busyness , while passion is meaningful and fulfilling. A simple test: Is your choice something that will stimulate you for a year or something that you can be passionate about for 10 years?

This test is tougher than it seems on paper. In the past decade, the work world has become a battleground for the struggle between the boring and the stimulating. The emphasis on intensity has seeped into our value system. We still cling to the idea that work should not only be challenging and meaningful -- but also invigorating and entertaining. But really, work should be like life: sometimes fun, sometimes moving, often frustrating, and defined by meaningful events. Those who have found their place don't talk about how exciting and challenging and stimulating their work is. Their language invokes a different troika: meaningful, significant, fulfilling. And they rarely ever talk about work without weaving in their personal history.

PLACE Defines You
Every industry has a culture. And every culture is driven by a value system. In Hollywood, where praise is given too easily and thus has been devalued, the only honest metric is box-office receipts. So box-office receipts are all-important. In Washington, DC, some very powerful politicians are paid middling salaries, so power and money are not equal. Power is measured by the size of your staff and by how many people you can influence. In police work, you learn to be suspicious of ordinary people driving cars and walking down the street.

One of the most common mistakes is not recognizing how these value systems will shape you. People think that they can insulate themselves, that they're different. They're not. The relevant question in looking at a job is not What will I do? but Who will I become? What belief system will you adopt, and what will take on heightened importance in your life? Because once you're rooted in a particular system -- whether it's medicine, New York City, Microsoft, or a startup -- it's often agonizingly difficult to unravel yourself from its values, practices, and rewards. Your money is good anywhere, but respect and status are only a local currency. They get heavily discounted when taken elsewhere. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and opportunity can lock you in forever.

Don Linn, the investment banker who took over the catfish farm in Mississippi, learned this lesson the hard way. After years as a star at PaineWebber and First Boston, he dropped out when he could no longer bring himself to push deals on his clients that he knew wouldn't work. His life change smacked of foolish originality: 5.5 million catfish on 1,500 water acres. His first day, he had to clip the wings of a flock of geese. Covered in goose shit and blood, he wondered what he had gotten himself into. But he figured it out and grew his business into a $16 million operation with five side businesses. More important, the work reset his moral compass. In farming, success doesn't come at another farmer's expense. You learn to cooperate, sharing processing plants, feed mills, and pesticide-flying services.

Like Don, you'll be a lot happier if you aren't fighting the value system around you. Find one that enforces a set of beliefs that you can really get behind. There's a powerful transformative effect when you surround yourself with like-minded people. Peer pressure is a great thing when it helps you accomplish your goals instead of distracting you from them.

Carl Kurlander wrote the movie St. Elmo's Fire when he was 24. For years afterward, he lived in Beverly Hills. He wanted to move back to Pittsburgh, where he grew up, to write books, but he was always stopped by the doubt, Would it really make any difference to write from Pittsburgh instead of from Beverly Hills? His books went unwritten. Last year, when a looming Hollywood writers' strike coincided with a job opening in the creative-writing department at Pitt, he finally summoned the courage to move. He says that being in academia is like "bathing in altruism." Under its influence, he wrote his first book, a biography of the comic Louie Anderson.

From Issue 66 | December 2002

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Recent Comments | 20 Total

February 26, 2009 at 6:53am by Cristina Redante

smarter

February 26, 2009 at 6:54am by Cristina Redante

April 2, 2009 at 4:01pm by Tabetha Burton

Please do not end your life just
say out loud now Jesus I believe
and I receive you in my heart please
help me leroyjenkins.com can help
more

April 2, 2009 at 4:01pm by Tabetha Burton

Please do not end your life just
say out loud now Jesus I believe
and I receive you in my heart please
help me leroyjenkins.com can help
more

April 6, 2009 at 11:23pm by Blake Gudge

One thing that struck me was that he said most of the people he interviewed had been successful and moved on to their 'calling'; while at the same time saying that wasn't the point. I'm sure that's the mantra he got from his interviews. My only point is, it's easy for them to say in retrospect that people shouldn't wait -- even though they did. However, I applaud all those that did give up the ideal 'dream' of the upper socioeconomic echelon, to find what really motivates them.

Also, Tabetha -
As someone who loves Jesus, you picked the wrong forum to hand out e-tracks for a self-indulgent evangelist. Jesus does love and can help, but I wish people wouldn't tarnish His name with ignorance.

April 21, 2009 at 12:16pm by Curtis Campbell

What got me is that I've read this advice from the HR types for years - do what you love. But for most of us "grunts" that is not probable. In fact, the myth busting in the article actually turns the advice around to where it sounds like "love what you do."

August 7, 2009 at 9:35am by Pritipadma Pradhan

As one of my friend said. Initially everyone tries to achieve what they want, they do what they love. But at the end you should love what you do, you should be happy with what you have. once you start complaining about life you will never become satisfied in life. Last but not the least its all in our mind.

August 7, 2009 at 9:37am by Pritipadma Pradhan

As one of my friend said. Initially everyone tries to achieve what they want, they do what they love. But at the end you should love what you do, you should be happy with what you have. once you start complaining about life you will never become satisfied in life. Last but not the least its all in our mind.

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October 1, 2009 at 4:46am by Mike Oswell

Hi, interesting post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll likely be coming back to your blog. Keep up great writing.

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October 13, 2009 at 1:21am by Michael Jameiosn

Don't worry, be happy.
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October 13, 2009 at 8:32am by Komara Arramuse

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October 13, 2009 at 9:06am by Komara Arramuse

Just Thinking about the future

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October 14, 2009 at 7:29am by Komara Arramuse

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November 17, 2009 at 11:21pm by riswan riswan

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November 21, 2009 at 5:27am by Anisa Cikal

Great blog, this could be the best blog I ever visited this month. Never stop to write something useful dude!


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November 21, 2009 at 5:27am by Anisa Cikal

Keep doing a good thing in your whole life. It will help you live happier.


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December 6, 2009 at 2:23am by raden somad

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