Are you talking about money therapy?

In most cases, it's more like mental catch-up. We need to pick up the thread of money experiences and add it to the other story lines in our lives. That's why I have all of my clients write a "money autobiography," which is simply a truthful account of significant life events from the perspective of money. I ask a series of questions to get at each person's central money drama. When do you first recall having money of your own? How free were you to decide what to do with that money? How was money discussed in your family? Can you think of a concrete image that illustrates the role that money has played in your life? Have you ever seen money used in a way that hurts other people? When you face money decisions, how do you usually feel? Challenged? Elated? Anxious? What is the most difficult experience that you have had in which money played a part -- either openly or covertly? Inevitably, an organizing theme emerges: It could be about "having and losing," "never enough," or "pretending that money doesn't really matter, even though it does."

Once you have your money story straight, can you close the books?

Articulating the hidden money messages in your life is just the beginning. This isn't about navel gazing; it's about mastery. In this case, mastery is about making money ordinary. Making money ordinary is about accepting the power it always conveys and taking responsibility for your money choices.

Now, taking charge of your money story isn't something that happens easily or automatically. To arrive at true mastery, there are four distinct stages of relating to money that you have to work through: denial, anxiety, exploration, and integration. There isn't any set order or life schedule for these stages. There's no penalty for regression or getting stuck in one stage. Integration isn't a final resting place. It's about a mindful progression from a state of relentless pursuit to living a life that is connected, vibrant, and meaningful.

Polly LaBarre (plabarre@fastcompany.com) is a Fast Company senior editor. Visit Pamela York Klainer on the Web (www.powerandmoney.com).

Sidebar: What's Your Money Stage?

Do you know where you are on the path to money mastery? Take this quiz to diagnose your money stage.

Have you ever intentionally concealed a money action that you've taken, or the amount of money that you have, in fear of the way someone might respond?

Are you excessively timid about taking charge of your money because you fear making mistakes, or because you believe that doing money isn't your role? If you answered "Yes" to either of those questions, you're in denial, the first money stage.

Classic symptoms: You pretend money doesn't exist or doesn't matter. You distance yourself from your ambitions. You lack curiosity about money.
Prescription: Fess up to the role that money plays in your life. Start by writing your money autobiography -- an account of the key events of your life from the perspective of money.

Do you often find yourself using terms like "always" or "never" when talking about money?

Are you driven by the pursuit of money, even though you have enough for your needs? A yes answer to those questions suggests that you are in the second money stage: Anxiety.

Classic symptoms: You have a constant undercurrent of fear that you or your money will never be enough. You experience paralysis when it comes to making financial decisions.

Prescription: Take a small step toward getting hands-on with your money. Experiment with a small amount of money by making an investment or funding a project, or start putting your books in order.

Have you found that buying the things that you've always wanted hasn't created the happiness that you crave?

Do you ever feel bored about your money? If this sounds familiar, you're in the third money stage: Exploration.

Classic symptoms: You're hands-on when it comes to your investments and financial management. You enjoy experimenting with money's power beyond the ability to purchase things.

Prescription: Now try to tone down your involvement with money. Put it on the shelf with all of the other ordinary, daily conversations.

Is money an ordinary part of your life, not a mystery or a secret?

Do you keep track of your finances on a regular basis? Do you discuss and agree on large purchases or decisions with your significant other? Do you learn from your experiences? Are you comfortable letting money just be money? Congratulations, you've reached Integration.