Blam! Maximum Success

Waldroop: The big challenge for the hero is recognizing the symptoms of burnout when they appear. One symptom is under-performance by subordinates. Team members under-perform when they are asked to do too many different things at once and when they are feeling discouraged because they're struggling to keep their heads above water. If you look back carefully at the path that the hero took to get where she is, you'll find burned-out, exhausted, and disgruntled people -- people whose work has not been acknowledged. You'll see important people both inside and outside of the company who have been alienated -- perhaps permanently. You'll hear things such as, "I worked with that person once, but I don't want to do business with her again. I don't like the way she operates." You'll find that key people who have been strong, steady performers in an organization are looking for new jobs.

The Peacekeeper -- The Case For Conflict

Waldroop: If the hero pushes too hard and sees herself as the commander of the unit, the peacekeeper sees herself as a diplomat, the glue that holds everything together. If you're a peacekeeper, then people often perceive you as being calm. You're not a big fan of conflict. You'd rather not argue about it, whatever "it" is. Conflict, when it isn't out of control, can be a really good thing. Conflict can keep a bad product from going to market -- or onto the space shuttle, for that matter. Conflict can create new ideas. "No, you're all wrong," is often followed by, "What if we did this instead?" Conflict becomes a thesis/antithesis/synthesis, where friction creates new ideas. Peace isn't necessarily as good for the organization as a peacekeeper thinks it is. A peacekeeper is really afraid of conflict. He's just not comfortable with it.

Butler: People who are afraid of conflict also tend to fight inappropriately hard when they do fight. They don't have a gradient scale. Either it's no conflict, or it's all-out war. Conflict avoiders don't have much experience in managing conflict. They don't know how to disagree constructively or how to make suggestions.

Fear of conflict is about fear of power and fear of your own strength. It's fear of doing irreparable damage, fear that the display is going to escalate. It's, "I'm so mad, I can't imagine what I'd do." You might yell at someone and deeply regret it 10 minutes later. Then you'll think, Oh my goodness, I've said those things, and they're out of the bottle. There's no way of putting them back now.

Waldroop: There's an old joke about Freudian slips that goes, "I meant to say, 'Please pass the salt,' but it came out, 'I hate you, you've ruined my life.' " The peacekeeper's fear is that she'll lose control -- that she'll jump across the table and throttle the other person. She'll annihilate or be annihilated.

People who handle conflict well are those who have worked with it a lot and who aren't afraid of it. Conflict is not something that you can get comfortable with in the abstract. You'll never feel comfortable with conflict without engaging in it. Try desensitizing yourself systematically. Start out by having a small conflict with someone who overcharges you in a restaurant -- someone who you probably won't ever see again. Move up step by step to prove to yourself that you can handle conflict. No one will end up dead, and you can even talk with the person you've challenged afterwards.

The Procrastinator -- (No) Shame on You

Butler: I've worked with a lot of people who procrastinate, and I've come to understand that procrastination has a lot to do with shame. You're putting off doing something because you feel -- rationally or irrationally -- that completing the task will lead you to feel shame in one form or another. Your shame will either come from not being able to face the challenge, from being exposed to the public as a fraud, or from somehow having your expert status in the organization compromised because you failed to deliver.

Waldroop: Procrastinators do finally get the work done, because a deadline looms or the shame of not completing the project outweighs the shame of their work not being good enough. Whatever procrastinators do, they feel that it's not good enough. They envision themselves at the top of the mountain, but they don't want to learn how to climb. They imagine that everybody is watching them learn how to climb a hill. The idea of being in an introductory class is humiliating. They would do anything to avoid that sort of shame. So they never get started, they never learn, and they never take those early steps. Other people take those steps and eventually learn how to climb mountains. The procrastinator's defense is "Well, I could have done that." Or "Well, we lost by a score of 34 to zero, but we didn't do too badly, given that we didn't practice." Since procrastinators feel like they fail all the time anyway, it's less painful to fail if they never really try.