Ronit Herzfeld used to counsel mental-health patients and other people who were in crisis. Now she works with fast-growing startups. But she taps into the same crisis-management tool kit to help both categories of clients identify ways in which they act out -- when what they really need to do is act.
I'm not worthy. "Most people feel like a fraud when they assume a new role. Unaware that this is a normal experience, they fear being exposed. Such fear inhibits spontaneous creativity and undermines your ability to work at optimal speed. Accept that feeling, and unlock your creative responses to change."
Put up your dukes. "When in crisis or danger, our instinct is to fight or flee. But those reactions constrict your ability to respond thoughtfully and openly. Identify the breakdown in protocol or in communication that created the crisis. Then address that breakdown instead of fighting it."
It's your move. "Often we have irrational reactions to a perceived threat. Once we form that impression, we wait for people to screw up. That sets people up to fail, and it sets you up to feel like you can't trust anyone. So try to suspend snap judgments and first impressions -- and allow people's actions to unfold."
It's your fault. "Blame is a narcissistic response that creates fear and division, preventing you from seeing your overall goal. If you focus on problem solving, you will create team unity."
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