Life/Work - Issue 32

In one case, a CEO resolutely resisted feedback from colleagues who said that he was bullying and dismissive. He rationalized that the competitiveness of the workplace made his behavior necessary. Only when his teenage children and his siblings used precisely the same words to describe him did the message penetrate. At that point, he became committed to change.

"Our clients are the sort of people who create an enormous amount of stress in other people's lives, but they are also very achievement-oriented," says Kathryn Williams, 57, a KRW partner and a clinical psychologist. "When they make the decision to put energy into their personal development, they can be very effective. I've seen more profound, lasting change in the 10 years that I've been working with executives than in all the years I spent as a therapist."

The next stage of the KRW process requires clients to consolidate what they've learned. "They're very good at analyzing data," explains Kiel. "This process forces them to own what they've heard."

Jim Berrien, 47, now president of Forbes, became a KRW client in 1993, when he was working at American Express as senior vice president and group publisher. After his insight session, he sat down separately with each of the 34 people who had been interviewed, including every member of his family. "It was very difficult," he says of the experience, "but it was also the beginning of a major fix. The next step was to get a percentage of those people to point out whenever I slipped back into old behaviors."

Awareness can be a powerful catalyst for change. Says one former KRW client, a senior female executive at a large communications company: "Hearing people's feedback in their own words, rather than getting some number or ranking, makes what they have to say harder to deny -- and, in some ways, easier to accept -- because you get the whole context."

At this point, clients are required to create a values mission statement. "We try to get them to focus on what's important to them, but congruency is also key," explains Williams. "If they say, 'Family is important to me,' but they never see their kids, we point out the disparity. The real question is 'How are you demonstrating this value in your life?' "

Next, clients focus on drafting a development plan that targets their specific shortcomings and strengths. For Berrien, one of the key challenges was to become a more supportive and empathic leader. "I have a very strong personality and a need to achieve," he says. "I used to believe that there was only one model that worked -- to be a type-A, hard-charging, extroverted killer. Now I'm wholeheartedly convinced of the fallacy of that model. What makes a high-performing team is the ability to create a climate of support."

Berrien began with some simple behavioral changes. For example, he had a habit of drumming his fingers on the table and staring at people intently during meetings. Through the feedback, he learned that his finger-drumming, which he viewed as merely a by-product of high energy, was read by others as evidence of boredom and impatience. The staring that he attributed to concentrated focus was experienced by others as intimidating.

"I still have a reputation for demanding high performance," Berrien says, "but I've been able to channel my energy so that it's more motivating to people, whereas they used to feel threatened by it. It took concentration on my part, and ongoing feedback from my troops and my family, but I think that the people around me would agree that there has been a huge change in my behavior."

Once a development plan is in place, KRW then enlists several specialists who focus on a client's specific areas of weakness. One expert addresses time management, another focuses on "executive presence," and a third deals with interpersonal and communication skills. The primary KRW consultant on the case also follows up with the client regularly -- at least once a week in the early months. In some instances, the primary consultant will shadow a client at work, or even reinterview key people in the client's life, in order to monitor progress.

"I used to focus on problems at work," says the communications executive who went through KRW's coaching. "By comparison, I now feel as if I'm running around in a cheerleader outfit. The people who work with me are able to be more productive because I put a little less baggage in their way than before. I also feel more loyal toward my company for having given me this experience."

So what can you do if your company isn't about to invest $150,000 to provide you with KRW coaching? One option is to seek out a well-respected coach who charges a more modest hourly fee. You can also make an effort to take stock of your own behavior and its impact on others. Ask yourself, What patterns from your past and in your current personal life get played out at work -- and are they serving you well? If not, what efforts are you undertaking to make changes? Conversely, what are your key strengths, and are you using them to their best effect? Finally, is what you're doing aligned with your deepest values -- and with your company's mission?