Over the years, consulting has given birth to some of the world's most unusual fads. But now, as we approach the 21st century, the millennial silly season has officially begun. Today's exhibit: a breed of consultants who claim that the secret to achieving success in business is really quite simple -- redecorate.
The product comes between covers -- book, that is, not slip: There are a slew of volumes written by consultants who want to introduce you to feng shui (pronounced "fung shway") -- the Eastern art of placing objects in space. Think of this new idea as the ultimate marriage of East and West -- the Dalai Lama meets Martha Stewart, presented in a tidy consulting bundle. The fundamental feng-shui proposition: Shift your fortunes by shifting your furniture.
It sounded like a job for the Consultant Debunking Unit (CDU). To begin the investigation, the CDU picked up four recently published books by feng-shui consultants. The four books have suspiciously similar titles. And, in varying degrees of detail (all of it couched in varying degrees of New Age-speak), the four authors all encourage businesspeople to improve their bottom line by getting in touch with the invisible energy flow -- the chi -- in their offices. The goal of feng shui, writes Simon Brown, author of "Practical Feng Shui for Business" (Ward Lock, 1998), is to "place yourself in a position where you immerse yourself in the most favourable chi energy for the kinds of goals you wish to achieve." In "Feng Shui Strategies for Business Success" (Three Rivers Press, 1998), author T. Raphael Simons claims that using feng shui will give you "a unique advantage in your quest for success." And Kirsten Lagatree, author of "Feng Shui at Work" (Villard Books, 1998), writes, "With proper feng shui you can tilt the balance in your life toward financial success, improved relationships, enhanced creativity -- whatever goals you may have."
The fourth feng-shui-er, Richard Webster, the author of "Feng Shui for the Workplace" (Llewellyn Publications, 1998), cites the role of feng shui in the East. He writes, "All over the East, business people regularly consult feng shui practitioners because they know that the proper use of feng shui gives them an edge in business." On the other hand, if the proof is in the koi pond, then the current economic state of most Asian countries argues for leaving your furniture right where it is.
Sofa or divan? Mirror or window? How important is it to promote a positive flow of chi energy in your office? Find out by gathering your compass, crystals, and mirrors, and taking this multiple-choice feng-shui quiz.
1. Your company's third-quarter results just came in, and profits are down 20%. The first step you should take to reinvigorate the business is
a. Convene a meeting of top managers to devise changes in your key practices.
b. Visit your top customers, and ask them what it will take to win them back.
c. Install a large aquarium in the wealth sector of your office, and stock it with eight goldfish and one black fish.
2. Office politics are getting the best of you. The best course of action is
a. Grab The Complete Idiot's Guide to Office Politics, and play hardball like everyone else.
b. Find a new job at a company where the politics will work more in your favor.
c. Move your desk so that you're not sitting with your back to the door. If you can't move the desk, then hang a mirror in a place that allows a view of the doorway.
3. You've just joined the growing ranks of free agents. To get clients, you should
a. Network, network, network!
b. Pour some cash into advertising: You need visibility in order to get more business.
c. Hang a small crystal over your telephone. If you don't have a crystal, then hang a chandelier, a mobile, or any other glittery glass object that catches the light.
4. Turnover and absenteeism in your department have suddenly skyrocketed. To get to the bottom of the situation, you
a. Implement a bonus-incentive program that rewards longevity and attendance.
b. Add a cappuccino bar to the office.
c. Place white china bowls filled with sea salt under the windows in your department.
5. You're in charge of planning the annual sales meeting -- and the stakes are high. You should hold the meeting
a. When you know that you won't be bogged down with other mission-critical projects.
b. On a Friday, when everyone is likely to be excited about the weekend.
c. During the days leading up to a full moon.
6. You're starting your own business -- in your cramped studio apartment. To prepare the space for your solo venture, you should
a. Head to IKEA and invest in the perfect desk, filing cabinet, and chair.
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