Members also use the list as a place to pose serious technical questions that, for various reasons, they may be reluctant to raise at the office. When they hear from their "Systers," they get answers from their extremely competent peers - without being made to feel inadequate or embarrassed. Think of it as a virtual version of the new-girls' network.

The list has even pushed forward the technical research of its creator, Anita Borg (aka, "Her Systers' Keeper"). Over the years, she has encountered many technical challenges in the process of trying to get such a widespread group of people to communicate effectively. She developed the software, called Mecca, that manages the list. The software allows members to filter out topics they're uninterested in, to find members who share their interests, and to search through years of messages in the virtual archives. Robin Jeffries now devotes half of her time at Sun to making Systers even easier to use, by redesigning the human interface. It's just one more reason never to underestimate what goes on in a ladies' room.

You can visit Systers on the Web (www.systers.org).

Sidebar: How IBM Learned to Love She-Business

Unless you've spent the last year or so above the Arctic Circle, you've probably heard about IBM's global research and marketing initiative dubbed "e-business." IBM has another initiative that promises to change its relationship with customers -- in this case, female customers.

Call it she-business.

"Women and men buy technology at the same rates and for the same purposes," says Cherie Piebes, IBM's global-market executive for women entrepreneurs and relationship marketing. "But women respond to different messages, so you have to reach them in different ways." Adds Caroline Kovac, a vice president at IBM Research, who works closely with Piebes, "One of our customers, a vice president at a bank, recently said, 'We've finally realized that we can't reach women customers by treating them as if they are slightly smaller men.' More companies need to think this way."

IBM is becoming one of those companies. Piebes, Kovac, and a team of IBMers have spent the last few years wrestling with such big questions as how to recruit and retain more female engineers and how to create marketing strategies that resonate with women. After working with advocacy groups and even studying how women surf the Web, they made the following discoveries.

Woman-run businesses are big business.

"So we're trying to understand women because it makes good business sense, not just because it feels good," says Piebes. The United States is home to more than 9 million woman-owned companies -- 38% of all U.S. companies: "More women are graduating from universities and more experienced women are working in corporate America than ever before," she says. "Women do a great job of starting companies." And these companies spend a lot on technology -- $67 billion last year alone.

Don't just sell products, sell service.

Women tend to value reliability over wizardry. "When a woman looks at a piece of technology," says Piebes, "she wants to know what kind of service she can expect, what the terms of the warranty are, whether customer service has a toll-free number. We gear our marketing material to women, which means emphasizing reliability and service."

The network is the message.

Besides who it sells to and what it sells, IBM's she-business initiative is wrestling with a third change -- how it sells. For information on products and technology, says Piebes, women entrepreneurs tend to turn to their personal networks: peers and colleagues, friends and family.

IBM's Piebes and Kovac make one final point: No company that has lousy relationships with its female employees should expect to have productive relationships with its female customers. "You can't successfully market to women unless you are a woman-friendly company," argues Piebes.

You can reach Caroline Kovac by email (ckovac@us.ibm.com).

Sidebar: Today's Special Guest -- Women Customers

It's 3 pm in Manhattan, and eager studio-audience members are gathered for the taping of a talk show. The program has all the sass and "you go girl" attitude of an Oprah Winfrey Show. But today, the goal is to gain insight, not to boost ratings. And people who work for the show's sponsor -- General Motors -- are the only ones who will get to watch.

"Welcome to Just Ask a Woman !" says the host, Mary Lou Quinlan. Quinlan, 45, is vice chair of the MacManus Group, an $8 billion advertising-and-communications agency, and one of the ad world's highest-profile female executives. "This is where you tell us and the advertisers what you think about what they're doing."