You're thinking about getting back together with your ex-company, but you know you've got some explaining to do: Why you strayed. Why it was all a mistake. Why you can be trusted again. If all that sounds vaguely like you're trying to patch up a marriage, you're right.
We sought the counsel of Gloria G. Harris, a clinical psychologist and author (with Rona Subotnik) of "Surviving Infidelity" (Adams Media, 1993). She poses three questions to ask yourself if you hope to reconcile.
Was it just a fling? Did you leave your former company for the corporate equivalent of a one-night stand and quickly realize your mistake? Some threats to a partnership, whether in marriage or at work, are more serious than others.
Why did it happen? Reconciliation won't be possible unless you're honest about the mistakes you have made. If you want to get back together, both parties need to understand why you strayed in the first place. The good news: Direct, unambiguous conversation serves to strengthen most relationships.
Can the trust really be regained? You can't simply admit that you made a mistake and expect life to go back to the way it was. Rebuilding trust depends more on action than on words -- you've got to earn that trust.
Is going back to your ex-company worth the risk? Ben Slick, 40, doesn't think so. Before Slick became president and CEO of PeopleScape Inc., an electronic search firm, he turned down the chance to take a top job with a previous employer. Slick says he would never go back to a place where he's worked before. Here's why.
People won't trust you. Think about what happened when you left. There might have been a counteroffer that you rejected and that disappointed your boss. If, on your way out, you shared any negative feelings about the company, word will have gotten around. Why should people trust you when you return?
New places offer more opportunities to learn. Boomerangers add to their knowledge and skill base only incrementally, because they already know a lot about the company they're returning to. When I've switched companies, I've grown exponentially. An aspiring leader needs a broad worldview. You don't get that by going back.
Recruiters are suspicious of boomerangers. If you've done two tours at the same company, some people might hesitate to hire you. They'll think that you retreated to a safe spot to get your act together before you went back on the road.
Coordinates: Ben Slick, slick@peoplescape.com, PeopleScape Inc., www.peoplescape.com
Boomerangers, like all job seekers, need to consider issues like salary, benefits, and growth opportunities before taking the great leap back. But prospective boomerangers must also grapple with a host of questions that are unique to their predicament. To help you test whether going back will get you ahead, ask yourself the following questions.
1. Did you run for your life? If your former workplace was toxic, don't bet that it's been magically detoxified since you left.
2. Were you a victim of a mass downsizing? Then returning will be a challenge: After all, someone at some time decided that you were redundant. You'll have to find some new way to repackage yourself.
3. Were people genuinely disappointed when you left? If not, you'll have to generate some enthusiasm for your return.
4. Did you make a graceful exit? You'll have a tougher time selling yourself if your parting was less than amicable.
5. Have you kept up with former colleagues? If you're out of their loop, you'll have a tougher time making an informed decision about whether to go back.
6. Did your former employer call you? If you were the one to initiate the boomerang conversation, you'll have to sell yourself harder to get back.
7. So you have an offer. Are former colleagues who are still at the company telling you to take the job? Consider yourself warned if your former coworkers are less than thrilled.
8. Do you think you can work through most of the problems you faced at your old company? Make a list of everything you disliked about your first stint there. If you think that more than half of those problems are beyond repair, forget about a second tour of duty.
9. Can you learn as much going back as you could going to someplace new? If the learning curve is flat, then going back may not be the best decision.
10. Are you considering boomeranging because you're having problems at your current company? You just might run into a whole new set of problems if you reenlist.
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