Enough Is Enough

Just Say No -- To Stress

By midweek, a real change has come over the guests at the Life Enhancement Center. They're relaxed. They're hopeful. They also sound like converts. It's amazing what a few days of exercise, healthy food, meditation, and plenty of sleep can do to wretches who are accustomed to driving themselves off a cliff.

What guests first notice about Canyon Ranch is its mountainous desert terrain. But what sets the therapeutic mood is the quiet, the absolute stillness of the place: You've never heard so much silence in your life. The ranch is nearly devoid of beepers, cell-phones, pets, children under 14, and standard forms of nightlife. (Evening activities include classes on astronomy, among other subjects.) At 10 p.m., the complex begins to wind down. And, since this is a health resort, no alcohol is served.

At 7 a.m., the day begins with a group speed-walk along the resort's serpentine roads. Then it's off to an omelet bar (egg whites only) and a full day of classes. Along with the Life Enhancement offerings, there are sessions on low-fat grilling, family conflict, sexuality, memory -- you name it. There are also more than 40 fitness classes, including sessions devoted to kick-boxing, yoga, and water aerobics in a heated pool. What does all of this have to do with finding out how much is enough? Well, everything, says Baker. The goal is not only to balance career, relationships, and health, but also to balance the elements within each of those areas: Eat a well-balanced diet, but also follow a well-balanced fitness routine. Lift weights to build muscle, but also be sure to include stretching and cardiovascular activity in your daily regimen.

At 5 p.m. each afternoon, the stress-management seminar begins. Even if you act in concert with your values, stress can undermine your pursuit of balance, like termites attacking the foundation of a house. The physical, emotional, and psychological consequences can be profound: overeating, inactivity, anxiety, depression, anger, poor sleep, heart problems, and increased mortality. Learn to manage stress, Baker says, and you can drastically improve your quality of life.

It's important to know what stress is, says Dr. Philip Eichling, medical director at Canyon Ranch, who offers this definition: "the mind's interpretation of an event in a way that causes characteristic physical effects." The key word is "interpretation." "You cannot control outside stressors, but you can control how you perceive and react to those stressors," Eichling says. In other words, take a moment to calm down. Take several deep breaths. "I concentrate on slowing down my heart rate and envisioning a good moment. I think of the look on my son's face when he's sleeping. That feels good."

If you're self-aware, you can tell when you're wound too tightly to concentrate. "You want to find an optimal level of performance -- a balance between tension and relaxation," Baker says. "Whenever you feel panic, just close the door, turn off the phone, turn out the lights, and take five minutes to practice meditation or deep breathing." Make such moments a regular part of your day, like a morning staff meeting. One minute here, five minutes there, and soon those moments of relief will begin to add up.

The point is, you cannot avoid stress altogether (some Canyon Ranchers even get stressed out by trying to squeeze in every class). But you can minimize its effect by becoming more resilient. Control what you can. Instead of letting others determine your life, draw boundaries and learn to say no when necessary. For high achievers, who typically hesitate to delegate or to turn down a request, that's not an easy task. But try saying no just once, Baker advises his guests, and see what happens.

Rob Hallam, 41, director of internal communication at the Atlanta headquarters of the Home Depot, has come to Canyon Ranch to get a grip on stress. When you work for a fast-growth company like the Home Depot, stress is so endemic that trying to avoid it is like trying to ignore gravity. Every 72 hours, another Home Depot store opens in the United States or abroad. In 10 years, the company has grown from 90 stores with 12,000 associates to more than 800 stores with 175,000 associates.

"Rapid growth brings change, and change is inherently stressful," says Hallam, who routinely logs 60 to 70 hours on the job, Monday through Saturday. But lately he hasn't felt as productive or as energetic as he used to. "Bottom line, I want to feel better about myself," he says. "I feel that I've been working too many hours and not getting enough out of it."