"I thought I would be rewarded if I kept my nose to the grindstone," she says. "I never worried about my relationships with coworkers. And so I was oblivious to problems that were all around me."

Several sessions with Frankel helped open her eyes. Frankel surveyed McCoy's coworkers, bosses, and subordinates about her performance. Their consensus: McCoy had failed to build a team. She didn't listen. She didn't offer constructive feedback.

Ironically, her isolation had caused her to get little recognition for her hard-won accomplishments. "I figured that people knew I was doing a good job. But according to the feedback I got, they actually didn't know. So I began using email to promote my team. I've also been trying to visit a few key executives in the company each week. Overall, I'm becoming more visible."

When dealing with her staff, McCoy reminds herself to be inclusive. Before, she simply bulldozed ahead without consulting anyone; now she asks for input from staffers. "I still like to be in control, and sometimes it's hard to let go. But I'm learning that when you share the workload, you also get to share the worry."

McCoy has also worked to bring her well-honed diplomatic skills into her workplace. Before, whenever someone stepped into her office, she would actually bristle at the thought of wasting time on small talk.

"Lois told me to invite people into my office," says McCoy. "The first person I asked in was incredulous: 'You want me to come in?' That really drove home how isolated I had become. Now I talk to people in the elevator or in the cafeteria. And, for the first time, I'm getting a lot of good information about what's going on in our company."

3 Signs That You're Isolating Yourself

1. You're unaware of the news that passes through your company's grapevine.
2. You consistently put in more hours than your colleagues do -- which means you aren't sharing your workload.
3. You think it's a waste of time to spend even 10 minutes a day talking with a coworker.

Coordinates: Joan McCoy, jmmccoy@mail.aai.arco.com

Action Item: Type Casting

To perform successfully at the highest levels of an organization, you need to get along with people who are different from you. One smart path to smart schmoozing is described in a new book, "The Enneagram Personality Portraits," by the husband and wife team of Patrick J. Aspell and Dee Dee Aspell.

The book provides strategies for reading nine personality types and for customizing your conversational style to each type. "If you can use behavioral cues to recognize certain types of people, you can communicate with them in a more effective way," says Dee Dee Aspell. How does she suggest communicating with, say, high achievers? "Quickly," says Aspell. "These people want efficient conversation. They respond best to action-oriented language that includes specifics and that provides a clear payoff."

Coordinates: $24.95. The Enneagram Personality Portraits: Enhancing Professional Relationships, Jossey-Bass, 800-274-4434

Sidebar: Three Reasons People Fail

What factor separates people who are on the fast track from those who get left behind? To answer that question, the Center for Creative Leadership, in Greensboro, North Carolina, surveyed 62 executives at blue-chip service and manufacturing companies. The group then published its findings in a report titled A Look at Derailment Today. The authors of the study, Ellen Van Velsor and Jean Brittain Leslie, identify three primary reasons why talented people fail to reach the top. Consider yourself warned!

They don't adapt during transitions. Some people are so resistant to change that they can't or won't alter their behavior -- and ultimately they fail. A typical comment about one failed manager: "He had a rigid and outdated management style. He was inflexible and people got tired of it."

They are difficult to work with. People with this fatal flaw often seem insensitive, manipulative, and overly critical. One manager who derailed was described in this way: "He would have people hanging out to dry if they wouldn't do what he wanted."

They fail to lead in a team-centered way. Being assertive and taking initiative can put people on the fast track early on. But those same traits can stymie people when they reach the executive level, where teamwork is vital. This comment was made about one such manager: "He was very isolated, [and he] did not create a team."

Coordinates: $20. A Look at Derailment Today: North America and Europe, Center for Creative Leadership, www.ccl.org