The first law of business is that every good idea gets taken to excess. The second law is that every excess sparks a backlash. Michael Roney and Michael Utvich are the voices of the backlash against conferences. They were sharing a cab at Comdex, the computer industry's utterly over-the-top annual gathering in Las Vegas. Crawling through traffic, they came to a shared realization. "The insanity of trade shows hit us at that moment," says Roney, a computer-book editor for IDG Books. "Every social phenomenon needs a critique."
So Roney and Utvich, a technology consultant, wrote "Guerrilla Guide to High-Tech Trade Shows: The Underground Resource for Saving Your Time, Money, and Sanity" (Random House, 1996). It's a fun, acerbic guide to tackling big industry shows. Roney and Utvich have also developed a Web site, which includes a database of their top trade-show picks. In an interview with Fast Company, these two conference guerrillas offer some intelligence on maneuvering across the trade-show terrain.
Why do so many businesspeople go to trade shows?
Utvich: "Every brochure carries an implicit threat: 'If you don't go to this show, you're going to lose out.' "
Is there a sane way to handle the insanity of a trade show?
Roney: "Treat each show like an episode of 'Wild Kingdom.' Watch the bestiary. At one show, I saw a person in a glass booth, grabbing for dollar bills that were flying around, with a crowd of people standing around and laughing. It was bizarre."
What freebies are worth going out of your way to snag?
Roney: "I like the higher-grade textile products, like hooded sweatshirts. Clock radios are also cool."
Utvich: "One of the saddest things at Comdex is the search-for-the-yardstick game. There's always a company that gives out cheap yardsticks, and everybody asks where to get them. People will take buses all over Vegas -- for a yardstick!"
How do you avoid pesky vendors?
Roney: "I cough and affect a neck twitch."
What's your advice for making the best of a bad show?
Roney: "Get a massage. A lot of trade shows feature masseuses."
Utvich: "At the Consumer Electronics Show, there's a pavilion full of vibrating chairs. You can sit there and get buzzed!"
Coordinates: Roney and Utvich, www.guerrilla-guide.com
Think of Joe Maglitta, an industry editor for Computerworld, as the Rambo of conference commandos. He spends at least 150 days a year attending events. It's his job to scan the horizon for new trends and to relay his findings back to Computerworld HQ in Framingham, Massachusetts. He views his grueling work as "an ongoing graduate education in business and technology."
Fast Company caught up with Maglitta at a conference -- in this case, the Gartner Group IT Expo in Orlando. He offered a seven-point guide for surviving conference combat.
1. Dress for success. "Like a soldier, conference commandos live on their feet. A comfortable shoe is the difference between Waterloo and D-Day."
2. Pack the right provisions. "Living in the air-conditioned semi-darkness of a conference can freeze you and dry you up. I carry lip balm, Visine, breath spray, aspirin, Power Bars, and Handi-Wipes."
3. Do some reconnaissance. "If you have some spare time before the start of a conference, act like an advance scout. Where's meeting room 1526-E? How are the booths in the expo hall arranged? Advance work will keep you from wandering aimlessly later on."
4. Expect the unexpected. "Make a few appointments to meet with people beforehand -- but don't overschedule yourself."
5. Be wise -- exercise. "Most of my conference days tend to last from about 6 a.m. to midnight. Doing 20 minutes of exercise in the morning -- yoga and stretching, mostly -- helps me marshal enough energy to get through the day."
6. Eat smart. "If you're at a conference and you don't have plans for dinner, look for a 'dinner board' -- a posting area that strangers can use to arrange shared meals."
7. Pack smart tools. "In addition to my IBM ThinkPad, I carry a Psion Series 5 handheld computer, a Kodak digital camera, a Sony portable Mini Disc recorder, a PalmPilot, and a cell-phone. My newest gadget is a Motorola PageWriter 2000, a digital pager that can receive email. I also have a CardScan 300, and at night, while I'm watching TV, I try to process all of the business cards that I collected that day."
Coordinates: Joe Maglitta, joseph_maglitta@cw.com
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