It Takes Two

"That's the advantage of having a partner," notes Mary-Ellis Bunim, who partnered with Jonathan Murray to create and produce MTV's hit series "The Real World" and its spin-off, "Road Rules." "You share the burden."

Longtime collaborators like Bunim and Murray usually make subtle divisions of labor that are based as much on their personalities as on their skills. Bunim, who is more quick-tempered and emotional than Murray, often leaves difficult confrontations to her partner. Last summer, when MTV accidentally preempted a "Real World" episode with other programming, it was Murray who made the phone call to a network executive. "He's a natural salesman," says Bunim, who marveled at how Murray kept his cool while he chewed out the executive. "He can give the worst news with a smile, and everyone likes him."

To agree on a sensible division of labor, partners must recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses, says Azriela Jaffe, who interviewed 120 current and former partners for her book. And that can be easier said than done. "Too often, people kid themselves about what they're good at, and they get into areas where they shouldn't be," she says.

At some point, though -- as personal or corporate objectives shift -- at least one partner will push for his or her role to change dramatically, says Klainer, a specialist in partnerships based in Rochester, New York. "A person might start with one goal, but a year later, priorities may change," she says. "Or the business context may change, and suddenly the company has to adjust its goals." This is when the partnership is most vulnerable, as the partners - now with entrenched habits - are forced to redefine how they work. And this moment often comes when the business is becoming a success.

About two years ago, for instance, UpStart was beginning to take off, attracting A-list clients like Tandem Computers Inc. and SunSoft Inc. (a division of Sun Microsystems). But the founders were feeling overwhelmed by work. "We were successful, but everything felt like a burden," says Fox. "We had to do something so that we could continue to grow without killing ourselves."

So the founders began bringing Klainer to their retreats. They resolved to stop thinking as though they were running a small shop. They delegated more responsibility and authority to their staff. They created a new management team to handle staffing issues, such as training, workload, and salaries. The result: Fox alone cut 5 to 10 hours from her work week. "It was difficult for us to let go of some of the control," she admits. "But we realized that we had to - if we wanted to continue to grow the business."

Must One Partner Be in Charge?

In a word, yes. But leadership need not be unlimited or unconditional. When Joe Kraus and five of his friends from Stanford University founded Excite in 1993, they took it for granted that they couldn't make every decision by consensus. "Someone has to have the final say," says Kraus, now 27, who served that function until Excite hired George Bell, 41, to be CEO of the Internet search-engine company. Kraus had no problem with handing over the reins. "George had so many years of experience in media," he says. "I knew that he could take Excite where it needed to go."

What executive worth his or her stripes would abdicate leadership? An executive who understands that for a partnership to work, the right person has to take the lead. At the same time, one reason why Kraus willingly defers to Bell's judgment is that Kraus can still exercise his prerogative in areas where - because of his background and experience - it makes sense for him to do so. Partnerships almost always involve a form of hierarchy, but the hierarchy is usually one of expertise rather than of raw power.

"In genuinely collaborative relationships, people focus on who has the relevant knowledge and expertise, not on who has the title," says consultant Robert Hargrove, who is also founder of the Institute for Creative Collaboration, a nonprofit research group. "It doesn't really matter who is technically in charge. What matters is who's right." Such partnerships, says Hargrove, are built around "the authority of knowledge," not "the authority of position."

That's how the partnership between Bell and Kraus works. There's no doubt that Bell is Excite's leader, but he says that he openly relies on - even defers to - Kraus when it comes to deciding how to make Excite "a better experience" for users. At Kraus's recommendation, for instance, Excite underwent a major face-lift: The search engine reorganized its content according to function and introduced television-style channels. "Joe has spent a lot more time online than I have," says Bell. "And he saw that we had allowed the technologists to organize the search engine, rather than building it around the consumer."