How to Get Them to Show You the Money

It Can Always Get Worse

There's one last thing to remember about the hard part of negotiating, about that point when the discussion comes to a stop, when you're thinking that you might do better to walk away than to resolve the deadlock -- because, you think, things can't get any worse. But let me assure you, they can get worse. Unintended consequences occur all the time as a result of botched negotiating sessions. Football players end up being needlessly cut from teams. Careers get cut short before people have really produced their best work.

It is not a victory to play a game of chicken and to let the two cars collide: One car gets totaled, and its driver is lying on the ground in critical condition; the other car has its steering wheel intact, and one of its wheels still works -- but let me assure you that its driver is also in critical condition. He did not win. When it comes to negotiating, you can't let the Neanderthal side of your nature dominate. You need to rise above that.

When You're Going to Lose, Get Creative

Never push a totally losing argument to the end. When you start to face a deadlock and you know that you can't win, it's time to back off. That's when you push yourself to think of a new way to solve the problem.

Here's an example. At one point, the negotiation that I just finished on behalf of Warren Moon was breaking down. The Seahawks' management was concerned that if it paid Warren a signing bonus, and then he retired next year, some portion of that bonus would count against the team's salary cap -- which would limit the amount of money that the team could use to sign someone else. So, for instance, if the Seahawks paid Warren a signing bonus of $3 million on a two-year contract, and Warren played for only one year, the team would be held accountable under the salary cap for $1.5 million in the second year. And since they looked at Warren and saw a player who would then be approaching his 43rd birthday, this was a serious issue -- so serious that it produced a deadlock that went on for quite a while. Finally, we decided to try something different. We suggested a new provision: If Warren did retire, he would pay back a portion of the signing bonus.

We treated the team's concerns as legitimate and came up with a way to get what we wanted: the signing bonus and the two-year contract. Instead of just speechifying, we thought of something that we could live with -- something that was less than perfect but still very desirable. Often, when you get into a deadlock, that's the moment where creativity comes into play.

A Negotiation is Not a Search-and-Destroy Mission

In most cases, a negotiation will not be the last time you interact with the other side. And since you will keep interacting with the other side, either in the workplace or in later negotiations, your goal should be to find the most profitable way to complete a deal that works for both sides. The one sure thing that I know about business is that, if you've got your foot on someone else's neck, at some point in the future, that person will have his foot on your neck.

And you never want to treat any one negotiation as the last opportunity to get a fair result. If you come to what seems like a horrendous confrontation, look for a way to take care of the problem that avoids a monumental blowup. You need to look at the whole picture and at the whole relationship -- and especially at your long-term interests -- as opposed to obsessing over the current situation. You can't afford to lose that perspective.

It's Not Just a Contract -- It's Your Reputation

Let's say that you agreed to a deal that gives you $100,000 in salary and two weeks of vacation, but the contract you get calls for $105,000 in salary and three weeks of vacation. Do you sign the contract?

The answer is, no, you don't sign it -- because those terms aren't what you agreed to. It's possible that, if you bring the discrepancy to the attention of people on the other side, they may feel indebted enough to do something for you. At a minimum, they will know that you're someone they can trust. I tell the lawyers in our firm, "It's acceptable if we don't get every last client or piece of business that we want. It's never acceptable if you lie to or mislead someone -- that's the one thing that can destroy what we do."