It Doesn't Take a Wizard to Build a Better Boss

If you've run yourself through those questions and the boss still comes up gutless -- well, there are, of course, bosses who genuinely lack courage, bosses who've gotten to where they are by avoiding mistakes, by avoiding decisions. Those are the bosses who make every decision a gut check -- for you.

When the boss is a coward, you have to ask yourself tough questions. You have to decide when something is important enough for you to take it on. You have to decide what battles are worth fighting. You have to decide how much courage you have -- and in the process, measure your own bravery.

Dealing with the Cowardly Lion means you have to stop whining. Make your decision, then try to get the resources and support you need to move ahead -- remembering that it's always easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

As you become more of a self-starter, you'll learn that working for a Cowardly Lion can be more rewarding and fulfilling than working for a Lion King. You learn how to calibrate the risks you take; how to measure what it takes to get things done; how to scramble when an effort falls flat; even how to value caution. And most important for your own growth, you find out where your convictions and your comfort zone intersect.

"Just to register emotion...if I only had a heart." -- The Tin Man

III. The Tin Man: The Boss Carries an Ax

Bosses often have to be demanding, brusque, impatient. Bosses have to set high standards, make tough decisions, push the organization. But when you're on the receiving end of a blast from the boss, "tough-minded leadership" feels more like insensitivity and brutality. As unpleasant as it can be, working for a Tin Man often turns out to be one of the most beneficial learning experiences -- if you can figure out how to avoid the ax.

Working for a boss who's tough on purpose can teach you lessons you'd never learn any other way. People who've worked for a Tin Man often find themselves saying, "He took us places I never thought we could go."

A Tin Man also teaches the value of mental toughness. When you work for a Tin Man, you learn the mental discipline that competition demands -- and you come away from the experience with higher performance standards and expectations for yourself and those around you. Finally, working for a Tin Man is an introduction to the passion of business. While a Tin Man may not always have a heart for the people around him, he almost always has an inextinguishable commitment to the business.

I saw this in the middle of my career, when a new boss took over as a change agent for our smugly satisfied organization. Without recognizing it, we'd allowed our success to make us complacent. His job was to wipe out the complacency and recharge the organization's sense of purpose -- and that took direct confrontation.

In his first week, he marched into a meeting brandishing a memo written by one of our senior team members. There wasn't a line on the page that hadn't been marked up -- it looked like a red pen had leaked all over it. He spent the first 30 minutes of the meeting destroying the memo -- the ideas were useless, the recommendations were laughable. Then he marched out of the room.

We sat in stunned silence. None of us had ever witnessed such a blistering attack. When we could talk, we all agreed: the boss was a jerk; he was out of line. Privately, we all knew that the old days were over; we'd have to change or leave. There was a new sheriff in town -- and he was wearing a tin badge where his heart should have been.

Watching this Tin Man at work taught me the difference between a boss who's tough on purpose and a boss who's just tough on people. The first difference is motivation. As events unfolded, it became clear that he wasn't just playing head games. He was using every edge and angle he could in order to break through our complacency. Nothing was too trivial to make the point -- not even the shortest in-house memo.

The second difference was the target of his criticism. He didn't whip people -- but he did flay their work. The distinction is critical: everybody's work was open to criticism and in need of improvement. He didn't play favorites; nobody was immune and nobody was a scapegoat.

The third difference was the way he modulated the criticism. He believed in a work-hard, play-hard ethic. We learned to argue and fight for what we believed in, then put the disagreements behind us and move on -- together. Gradually we shifted from thinking the boss was a jerk to seeing the method in his madness. And gradually he toned down the volume and frequency of his attacks.

When the boss is a Tin Man with a purpose, there are ways to survive and even thrive. For example, if the boss doesn't acknowledge the emotional consequences of his behavior, then you have to keep emotion out of your side as well. The criticisms aren't personal, so don't take them personally. Focus on the content, not the style.