And no one is better motivated than Dave Marsing to practice the dance, to find and follow the Middle Path. For him it is a matter of life and death.

Michael S. Malone (msmalone@aol.com) is one of Silicon Valley's most prolific and respected journalists.

Sidebar: Electronic Rorschach

Perhaps no technique better exemplifies Dave Marsing's management style than his creative use of e-mail.

For most managers, e-mail has become at best a quick communications technique and at worst an extra burden.

In Marsing's hands, e-mail is a compelling tool for dispute resolution, for getting employees to think about the processes at work in their relationships with others, and for team building among different types of people. In some cases, it can even work as therapy, an electronic Rorschach test to help employees and managers better understand their motives and behavior.

After an important meeting, for example, Marsing has been known to send out a common memo to every attendee asking not the standard questions ("How did it go?" or "What decision did the group reach?") but something entirely unexpected, such as, "Explain the dynamics of the meeting." Such a question forces the participants not merely to parrot the end result but actually to consider how they got there.

Was the decision really a consensus? Or did some senior manager or strong personality simply push through a predetermined result? Did anyone suggest an intelligent alternative that might actually be better -- or serve as a backup? Did you have an idea you were afraid to express?

"I want people to think about how they got to a decision," Marsing says, "because in the long run, their understanding of the process, of how they related to one another, is more important than a single result."

Marsing's concern with relationships is particularly acute when it comes to the interaction between employee and boss. Technology companies such as Intel tend to promote engineers into management positions. Some prove to be natural leaders, many have latent management skills, and still others are wholly unsuited for the task.

"You often get a new manager who is very detail oriented, who wants to study everything forever before making a decision," Marsing says. "Other times, you'll get a very bright person with limited people skills who already knows the answer and never thinks to consult the people who work for him."

To determine what's really going on, Marsing has sent out as many as 40 identical e-mails asking a simple question such as, "Is your boss dealing with you in the way that works best?"

"I try to make the question as unthreatening as possible," Marsing says. "I want to create a dialogue, not a get-even session." And dialogue is what he gets: sometimes as many as five rounds of e-mail will pass back and forth as Marsing, the manager, and the employees feel their way to a solution.

Finally there is the delicate matter of a boss and an employee who simply cannot get along. It's the ultimate test of Marsing's belief that opposite personality types can learn to work together.

In such situations, Marsing sends a memo to the employee that reads, "Do you think your boss is getting the most out of you?" and one to the boss that reads, "Do you think you are getting the most out of this employee?" Then he sends each the other's reply.

Says Marsing, "It usually leads to a very interesting conversation."