Tougher is not the long term successful approach. Knowledge expertise and the ability to communicate understanding of issues and problems and shape craetive concepts, solutions and thought provoking thinking that engages dialogue. Read the Fifth Discipline about dialogue, different than what we normally experience in corporate America.

No, they don't need to but most (those that I have encountered) tend to. I think the problem is the general image/perception we have of women in leadership positions - which offers the two extremes: the powerful b*tch or the lady Madonna. Cory Aquino, Golda Mier, Carly Fiorina, Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, Mother Teresa, etc. There seems to be a lack of middle ground based on talent and competency alone, not colored by the gender lense.

I'm not sure tougher is the correct word. I think assertive is the correct word. I have worked in various IT positions and worked my way up to Manager so far. I currently own my own company and planning on getting my MBA.

In my experience, because I have a good attitude and people respect me, I am used as the person to address issues and employees come up to me with their issues.

What I am struggling with in my current position, is where I make a suggestion to another manager about how we should go about solving a problem with technology and then the manager presents it as their idea at the next meeting. I believe this may be particular to this company as many people are in constant fear of losing their job. I am hoping that when I am ready, I will change jobs and work with a company where everyone works hard to get the best result and works together.

Just to throw this out there, does anyone know where one can find people that want to mentor others? I have so many questions and yet no one to talk to about them. Thank you all for your time and enjoy your Sunday.

Cathy i must say your views on this article are brilliant, they carry emotion and in there the arguement may become sidelined, my issue is that several women who are tough are not necessarily making leardership material ,email me at tevinmatovu@yahoo.com plse to join your blog

the word tougher may cause a problem , in as far as toughness is perhaps not the core of good leadership, many touh leaders have failed, the issue is becoming smart , women may tend to break down when things are tough but the solution is not in toughness alone.

Women should simply be who they are in business relationships. Acting with honesty, integrity and utilizing their intelligence to solve problems. Respect will then come naturally.

No, woman bring strength to an organization in many ways . There are MANY expressions of poor leadership which embody toughness that don't translate into a contribution to the bottom line. Women and men should focus on understanding the business and developing a style which aligns it's people, process and strategy in a way that makes sense.

Cathy I can identify with everything you are saying until I reach your last paragraph and that is where my emphasis is different. Everything you have spoken about to this point is leadership personified. It is ironic maybe that your last paragraph speaks to a battle, whereas as man, I speak to different kind of struggle - a paradoxical war, the war that is not a war. This is about identifying what we do in our lives through the lens of peace. I think that bringing peace, flow and evenness to an organization is the ultimate culmination for the leader. This is not about being a peace activist or about social responsibility, it is about viewing peace as a greater personal challenge than war and this is not an external war, it is an internal battle which one may signal as soul, but one must maintain as a factual and pragmatic view. This is not a challenge to what you are saying, it is a reframing, or looking at the same thing you are looking at through a peace lens rather than a war lens, viz looking at the same thing in a different way. To bring peace and order is a mighty leadership challenge, and this is where language matters. It matters because I think it improves victory, victory at the individual, team and organizational level. Sun Tzu in the Art of War says the strategist who wins is the one who does not have to fight. The kind of "peace" that I am addressing here is one that Sun Tzu would readily understand, and it is above all a practice, just as leadership in business is an entrepreneurial practice. For me it is not about having a discussion, it is all about practice. This is what I want to ride into town with, this is what I think the 21st Century should ideally be about. Of course I am not saying I am right, but this mentality feels right for me. I am not selling or pushing an argument upon anyone, my preference is that these things are thought through and not simply accepted carte blanche. This is my viewpoint but what I do believe in is the conversations that matter - for I tend to mostly diminish and regress in any form of triviality that my intuition would deem meaningless and the one thing you have discussed night is certainly highly meaningful, of course I also do recognize that at 1am I should be sleeping rather than thinking......M.

Mark ... thanks for seeing my stream of consciousness rant as eloquent. I am a woman in the software industry who has held many leadership roles from a team lead through director positions. I DO NOT believe in glass ceilings, or that woman are limited. I am a strong believer in free will and the ability for one to control their perceptions of life. I have been the only woman in the room for much of my career, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have no fear of failure, I am curious and I like challenges. I think that women assume they are emotional, overly detailed in communication and not assertive. Well I have met many men with the same self-doubts. I am a highly sensitive and intuitive creature, and that is what makes me a differentiator in my organization. I have a 360 view of things and can empathize with what others are saying and therefore typically have the best understanding of what is being said in the room. A lot of times I say very little and just listen, but when I do speak the room listens. So my soft side actually is my asset because I can build trusting relationships with people, and break through the toughest veneers with direct and professional communication. I am always questioning my ability to be a leader, and whether or not I am good enough. But in the end, it really boils down to one thing. We are like the leaders of an army. We have to have a vision, we have to keep momentum and morale high, we have to get our army to believe in us, and we have to respect them for going into battle each day for us.

Cathy I read your astute response to this question and it made me think about my own professional standards and how familiarity or casualness may affect it - and immediately I thought of my response to an FC article called "Dead Man Walking by David Case" where I finished my response with the sentence ["I really am only going to significantly grow my learning if I continue to come across pieces that are incomprehensible to a dweeb thinker] - and while on any other day I wouldn't pay much regard to such an errant expression, I asked myself what value I added by expressing the words "dweeb thinker". Your point about following your instincts is what struck home and in that context, my intuition stabbed at me that I had erred in terms of my own standards in the response to Dave Case's article. So I have ended today with my chief take away being about the meaning of standards - from which stems both balance and integrity. Your words were very intelligently received and so did spark this realization within me, and I would like to thank you for having so eloquently expressing them - even though I realize they are related in context to the above mentioned question......M.