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Work/Life: When Worlds Collide: What Bear Stearns Could Learn From Paris Hilton

• I guess when an organization as huge as Bear Stearns takes a dive, it is only natural for the government to step in and create some buy-out terms that mean JPMorgan will be guaranteed not to suffer any losses by bailing out their competitor.  But it certainly puts the average citizen’s life in perspective, since no one is out there giving us any sweetheart deals when we fall behind on a mortgage payment or take advantage of low-interest-rate balance transfer on our credit cards.  Okay, so Bear Stearns is a lynch pin of the economy, but there seemed to be an element of “if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger” missing from the cut-throat world of business here.  I mean, as my daughter would say, “it’s like, you know,” they didn’t have to work for it.  
• Which is why it may be a cosmic coincidence that on the same weekend that all this financial disaster news hit the wires, so did a story that Paris Hilton will soon have her own MTV reality show, called “Paris Hilton’s New BFF (Best Friend Forever),” in which a series of male and female contestants will move into a house with Paris and compete to become her new best friend.   This is certainly a major, and potentially frightening, melding of work and life, but could also provide an unwitting guidepost toward a more stringent qualification process for the next company to go belly-up jeopardizing our nation’s well-being.
• The court of public opinion is where pretty much everything is decided upon these days, so why not make troubled corporations suck up to their prospective buyers on national television, letting the rest of us decide whether or not they are truly worthy of being saved?  Those who want to be in the first round of contenders for becoming members of Hilton’s entourage have to submit preliminary stats to a Web site.  This could work for troubled financial outfits as well.  Basic questions like “do you consider this groveling?” “are you prepared to give up a yacht or two?” and “I mean, really, how, in your own words, did it ever come to this?” are excellent ice-breakers.  
• From there, those concerned should definitely spend time with each other, confined in a house, just to see who gets on whose nerves.  This could not only lead to some great on-camera snit fits, but could ultimately reveal to viewers that the troubled company has a “difficult” personality and may have to start watching late-night television for credit consolidation offers if they don’t chill out.   Far fetched you say?  Let me support this thesis by quoting Paris Hilton herself.  When asked who she would consider as having what it takes to be her new best friend, she replied, “Someone I can just trust, someone who’s not gonna stab me in the back…”  If that doesn’t have resonance in corporate America, I don’t know what does.