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Work/Life: Bear Stearns Indictments...(Almost) Enough To Make A Grown Man Cry

• It is only natural for the human mind to connect seemingly disparate events and try to assign them a collective meaning. So it was as I prepared to write a little something about the recent indictments of two former hedge fund managers at Bear-Stearns who allegedly engaged in conspiracy and fraud by misleading their investors about the declining value of their product. (Although, let’s face it, anybody in this economy who believes anything is actually gaining in value may very well deserve what they get.) Wire service photos depict the tight-lipped men being led away by the authorities and I suppose it is only right that they should be tight-lipped; after all, stoicism is the only socially acceptable way men can cope with bad news—aside from when they are watching the Lakers lose an NBA title, in which case throwing an ashtray also works. So, is it a coincidence, then, that another story hitting the Internet at the same time is about a new photographic exhibit featuring portraits of famous men doing the unthinkable: crying?
• Yes, it’s true. The photographer Sam Taylor-Wood has been showing a series of photographs depicting screen stars in various stages of weepy-time. Forrest Whitaker is seen pretty much bawling, while Daniel Craig looks like he just spent an evening remembering the pet canary he had to bury when he was six. Robin Williams seems like he’s trying not to cry (perhaps he momentarily forgot what subject to riff endlessly on and had a panic attack), and Paul Newman doesn’t look like he’s crying at all, although one hand obscures his probably tearful eye.
• I suppose it’s courageous of these men to have their sobbing images frozen for eternity on a gallery wall, but let’s face it, they are ACTORS, and probably get off on the voyeuristic tone, anyway. Or, they could very well be ACTING in these shots, another possibility. The point, though, is that a group of men actually consented to be shown weeping, and this could bode well both for the cause of work/life balance and the continuing success of Oprah. So, then, it might be time for those in the corporate sector who are led away in handcuffs to start realizing that it’s okay to break down. Now, it doesn’t have to be on the Jimmy Swaggart level or anything, but how about letting those tight lips sag a bit, maybe letting the mist of regret cloud your eyes?
• Your bravery, corporate criminals, in blazing a trail for all men everywhere to get in touch with their feelings, could lead us to a new period of enlightenment not seen since that weird period in the 80’s when guys were getting naked in the woods and beating drums and all that. Maybe if the next dude convicted of corporate malfeasance would just blubber a little, it would give us all permission to sob about how our busy lives are preventing us from getting to what really matters. Well, I better go. I’m getting all verklempt.