Life In Balance by Simma Lieberman

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Finding Calm In Stress

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Executives Under Stress During Stressful Times Need Executive Stress Solutions

Executives Under Stress During Stressful Times Need Executive  Stress Solutions

According to the National Institutes of Health, “people who feel more in control at their jobs tend to feel less stressed out.”

While executives and senior leaders have more control of their work, they manage people who feel like they have less control, which makes them stressed out

Employees in general are feeling more anxious and stressed. They’re worried about lay-offs, wage freezes, and reduction in benefits. If they are in an organization where there has already been a reduction in the workforce, they want to know what will happen in the future plus they may have “survival guilt.”

As an executive, you have to know how to manage your own stress plus lead your employees who may be having a hard time focusing on their work. 

As a leader you may feel responsible for your employees and your organization to the detriment of your own health. At the same time you need to be able to look confident and calm so you don’t pass your stress onto everyone else.

It becomes a stress cycle, but there are actions you can take. 

• Learn how to use self-talk to keep yourself focused and prevent or stop negative thinking. Either bring in an outside consultant to teach your employees or use internal resources if available.

• Learn and practice basic stress management exercises that involve breathing in order to relax during the day and recharge your mental, physical and emotional energy. If you appear relaxed it will help your employees.

• Talk to other senior leaders to vent and share best practices for stress solutions.

Having worked with executives for over twenty years, I can tell you that executive stress is real, and you are not alone. Being a stressed out executive is not a reflection on your leadership abilities but not doing anything about it can negatively impact your focus, productivity and profit. Who can afford that?

Simma Lieberman 

03:09 pm | 0 recommendations | 3 comments

Risk and Reward on a French Water Slide: is your business making a splash?

Starting a business is always risky. For those of us who’ve started successful businesses we’ve had to balance risks and the promise of rewards. Sometimes you feel the fear but do it anyway, because if you don’t do it, there will be a part of your life that never gets lived.

There are other risks that we take that seem to have nothing to do with our work life but the risks we take in our personal lives are intertwined with the risks we take in our business.

I got to experience what I considered to be a risk, and move through my fear at a water park in Biot, France with my fifteen-year-old son. My son has always loved amusement parks and water parks; the scarier the ride, the better. I’ve developed an intense dislike for both. The bottom line is that I hate not being in control, and being spun around like a top by an exterior force that I can’t stop. Just being in a theme park was enough to feel like my stomach was in my throat.

During our recent trip to France, my son went online and discovered a water park thirty minutes away. As hard as I tried I couldn’t get out of taking him there. I warned him that I wouldn’t go on any of the water rides with him. I went with him knowing I would be bored. I even took a book to read.

Once we got there, I was impressed at how different this water park was from ones I’d experienced here in California. It was very clean; it didn’t feel overcrowded and rushed. I imagined myself going on some of the slides. I decided I would try going down one and felt comfortable enough knowing that it would be okay if I changed my mind if it felt too out of control.

I got my son to go on the slide with me. I summoned all of my courage, visualized the ride down, turned off my negative thoughts, climbed the stairs and slid down into the water. I proceeded to several more slides that were higher and steeper, and each time it got easier and more fun.

I felt like this was a great achievement. I had broken through a fear barrier and was successful. 

I realized that there was a business corollary to this “magnificent accomplishment.” Having a successful business, creating a new product and getting it to market means taking a risk but we can control when we launch our new products, who we involve and knowing that if we fail we can use it as a learning opportunity and do it differently next time.

Simma Lieberman 

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Are You Planning a Vacation or a Staycation?

“Staycations” are a myth and waste of time for entrepreneurs and business leaders.

In case you’re wondering what a staycation is, here is a definition from Wikipedia.

“A staycation (or stay-cation, or stacation, or staykation) is a neologism for a period of time in which an individual or family stays at home and relaxes at home or takes day trips from their home to area attractions.”
 
Telling me to say at home and have a staycation is like telling me to sit at my computer and not check the news or email for eight hours. Impossible!  I can just imagine telling my 15 year old son that we are on a staycation for a week, and explaining that it was a form of vacation and we were going to spend the week going to local museums, not answer the phone, no texting and no World of Warcraft.  He would wonder what heinous crime he had committed to be punished like that.

As a business owner, it’s hard for me to imagine shutting my phone off, no email and no business transactions for a week, even though I’m in my home and haven’t really gone anywhere. That staycation would become a “stresscation.”  I don’t know who would run away first, my son or me.

I suppose I had a staycation of sorts last year. I was hit by a car and stuck on my couch for several months. It was grueling.

I’m not saying that staycations are not good for some people, I’m just saying that for a business owner or business leader it wouldn’t be the most relaxing time.

Having a good life/work balance means that we’re able to be present in all aspects of our lives, and know how to eliminate, reduce or manage stressors. 

For some people it may mean that they go away on vacation and set up a specific hour a day to answer email, and take care of any other necessary business. It also means that the rest of the time they can relax at the beach, sit by the pool or do nothing.

I once went on a vacation to Hawaii with a friend who couldn’t leave the hotel because she was afraid of missing a call or email. I set up a time every day when I would do that. My friend ended up stressed. She was never quite able to relax.  I had a wonderful time and came back relaxed, calm and looking ten years younger.

If I took a staycation with my son, it would mean we’d have to leave the house at 6:00 AM, and use flashlights instead of electric lights to keep neighbors and friends from knowing we’re in town. We’d have to keep the blinds closed and live in fear of being found out. What would we do if friends asked to see photos and video from the vacation? We’d have to admit that we never went anywhere and just didn’t want to see them.

Every year I go to a camp in the Yosemite Mountains. There is no email and only pay phones. That’s the time when I have my assistant take care of my email, phone calls and other business. Of course I worry at first that I’ll miss something big, or think that only I can deal with a particular email or call. I catch myself ruminating, take a deep breath, remind myself that I trust my assistant and let go.

I do have to confess that I buy a phone card and every few days I use it at night to check messages, which I can do nothing about.  There was another time when I went to the mountains and in the midst of writing a report for a client that was due in two days.
 I didn’t want to change my plans. I finished the report while in Yosemite and since we had no Internet or cell phone service in the mountains, I drove around with my laptop open to every campground and lodge until I found an open network. I pressed send, let go and went swimming.

Having just come back from a three-week vacation in London, Nice and New York feeling renewed, I know a staycation would never work for me.  I’d end up more stressed than I was before.

02:30 am | 0 recommendations | 4 comments

Building Relationships Can Reduce Stress; NY cabbie finds cell phone

A recent experience reinforced my belief that building relationships can relieve stress and that having a diversity and inclusion outlook can help build relationships.

My son and I were in New York for a few days on our way home to California when I left my cell phone in a taxicab. Not only did the cab driver try to find me, he was kind enough to deliver my phone to the reception desk at The Muse hotel where I was staying.

I was on my way to meet a friend for dinner. I noticed that the cab driver had a Farsi name and asked him if he was from Iran. There had been big demonstrations earlier that day to protest the Iranian election. The cab driver, Jimshad and I struck up a conversation. I think he was somewhat surprised at my knowledge of Iranian history and that I was so interested in the election. We talked for the fifteen-minute cab ride and for about fifteen minutes before I got out.

We discussed the political situation, our families, and the fact that he was a chemistry professor during the school year. I told him I was from New York and gave him my name, which is actually common in Iran.

I was so involved in our conversation that when I got out to meet my friend I left my phone on the seat. I didn’t notice it until after I had finished my dinner and decided to call my son. When I couldn’t find my phone in my purse, or in the restaurant, I became somewhat frantic. “How would my 15 year old son reach me? How would I reach everyone in New York whose numbers were programmed into my phone.” My stress level was raised significantly in a very short time.

I realized that I had probably left my phone in the cab, but didn’t remember the cab company or the driver’s full name. My friend had just called T-mobile to see about getting me a new phone the next day and I was resigned to my loss.

When I used my friend Joel’s phone to check my voice mail. there was a message from my sister that the driver had spoken to her and he had my phone. My stress level went way down in an instant.

 The driver, Jimshad, had found the phone and realized that it was mine. He knew my first name and when my sister called to reach me, he answered. She told him where I was staying and he brought they phone to my hotel. When he dropped it off, he told the people at the front desk, how much he enjoyed speaking with me and was so glad that he could get my phone to me.

Everyone was amazed that something like that could happen in New York. Cab drivers meet so many people during their shift. Had I not struck up a conversation, he wouldn’t have remembered my name and me. The phone would have just ended up in the taxi lost and found never to be found by stressed out me. If I hadn’t studied history, and culture and not been a diversity and inclusion consultant, I wouldn’t have been able have an interaction that was significant and memorable, so that he would be able to locate me and take the time to return my phone. My contacts would have been lost and I wouldn’t have been able to call anyone to make plans and have a wonderful time in New York. We never know how an interaction can have a future impact on our lives.

08:36 pm | 0 recommendations | 5 comments

How the Internet Ruined Almost Ruined My London Vacation

Actually it was the lack of Internetaccess that caused me great stress and threatened to impede my life/workbalance.

I’m in London with my 15-year-oldson. We arrived last night from Berkeley, CA. Since life/work balance is soimportant to me I knew that I needed a vacation. At the same time I have abusiness to run and I’m in the midst of several projects.

The plan was to hold virtualmeetings on-line, use Skype, and send email attachments. Since I’m neverworking in one time zone, I didn’t think it would be a problem. Someone oncesaid, “Some things never work out the way you want.”

As we were waiting for ourplane, while talking to my assistant, my cell phone just died. That was thefirst problem. When we arrived in London, I was not able to get online and thenew person at reception was not able to help me.

I went out with my son forthe day, and had a great time, walking for hours around London.  I just knew that when I got back, therewould be someone who could give me some assistance and I didn’t give it anotherthought. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I started thinking about peopleI needed to reach here in the UK and back in the states, and worrying aboutlost productivity. I had to remind myself several times that the world wouldstill go on and so would I if I had to wait a few extra hours, (not that Iwanted to of course.)

This was a lesson in being inthe present. I’m here with my son on vacation with a little bit of work thrownin. I’m not working with a little bit of vacation thrown in. The time may comevery soon when he would rather go to Europe or anywhere else with friends. Itwas time to let go of the Internet and all of my “important work,” for the restof the evening and enjoy my son.

We got back to our hotel ashort time ago. Its 2:00 AM, I got online, and my son is in the lobby with agroup of college students doing Karaoke and having a great time.

I’m just grateful that Ididn’t ruin our day by obsessing about what I needed to do and how important Iam. It almost reminded me of the South Park episode when the Internet was downand it was a national crisis equal to massive floods, fire and global warming.

03:01 am | 0 recommendations | 2 comments

Stop Warning Me to Get Ready for the End

 I can’t take any more newsletters warning me to get ready for the end of the  recession  as though I should be building a bomb shelter. If I didn’t know better I would think they were trying to scare me into hoarding canned goods in case there was a  sudden earthquake of economic prosperity, a massive influx of new hires and a mob of  customers demanding products and services.

The economic crisis was a process and the economic recovery is also a process which is why we need to continue  our process of  providing value to our employees and customers.

If you lead an organization that is not doing well, the last thing you need is to be told that you’re doomed if you don’t follow their “Twelve Habits of Economic Recovery.” Instead you need to assess your organization and develop a strategy to be more successful today.

If you haven’t been expressing appreciation to your employees because you’re afraid and busy spreading stress, you need to stop, take a few deep breaths, show up on the floor and thank them for their hard work and contributions. Acknowledge their loyalty and ask for feedback and new solutions.

In order to prepare, good companies need to continue to treat their employees well, provide memorable service and take risks and be innovative.

People are still doing business, not every company is bankrupt and some organizations are even thriving.

In the coming months there will be a new IPhone from Apple and more people will buy it.

Palm developed  Palm Pre that will work with Sprint and is being compared to the IPhone and people are ready to buy .

Publicly traded companies that are developing new drugs will continue to profit says Medical News Today. Illness has not been eradicated.

“Japan Today” reported that the budget clothing company Uniglo increased their profit this past winter, marketing “heat-tech inner wear,” warm underwear. People will continue to be cold in the winter and nothing is worse than cold underwear!

http://www.japantoday.com/category/kuchikomi/view/some-companies-doing-very-well-in-recession

In my last post I stated that The Kimpton Hotels and Restaurant Group wasn’t waiting around for an economic upswing. Their customer service is better than ever. They are prepared today and will be prepared tomorrow and next year because making people feel welcome  is reflectedin every aspect of their culture.

One of my favorite recent episodes on “South Park,” was when the adults started talking about the economy as though it was a deity. One of them even said that ‘”The Economy,” was angry and that everyone had to sacrifice for the economy,  give up wearing clothes and wear sheets instead. That would appease “The Economy,” and make it return.

It took one of the South Park kids to tell people that “The Economy,” wasn’t an outside force but that we made the economy.

The economy is not an outside force. We can’t wait for it to “decide to improve.” We need to continue to create, be innovative, and partner with employees and customers to be successful, today, tomorrow and after that.

Simma Lieberman  

"The Inclusionist" 

03:39 pm | 0 recommendations | 1 comment

Are You Preparing for the Economic Upswing or is Your Customer Service in Recession?

While some shortsighted organizations have cut back on customer service there are organizations that  continue to create the kind of extraordinary experiences for their customers that ensure repeat business.

The Kimpton Hotels and Restaurant Group is one of the leading organizations that has consistently provided personal customer care throughout this economic downturn.

When you walk into a Kimpton property, staff immediately welcome you. It’s more than just a cheery hello one particular person. Everyone you meet welcomes you as though you are the most important guest and they are there to personally assist only you.

I asked the COO Niki Leondakis how they are able to provide such personal service for their guests n today's economy and budget tightening. " We’re aware that many of our guests may be under extra stress right now so we have provided employees with special training on customer stress. They can help guests be as relaxed and comfortable as possible,” she told me.

I had to know how it was possible for staff to be so focused on guests when they were feeling pressured to do more with less. Niki told me that all of the employees had been trained in stress management and knew that they could talk about any issue and getsupport. We constantly go back to our core values and much we value our employees.”

“Our philosophy is that personal care regarding stress and customer service starts with the employees.

All of our employees are encouraged to take any class offered, which includes one on life/work balance.”

She also let me know that Kimpton leadership consistently communicate with their employees so that they feel empowered and engaged. They even tell them when they don’t know.

In my consulting practice I hear from too many employees that they are extremely stressed and anxious about their future, because senior managers stay in their office silos and don’t communicate and share information with them. In the absence of information, rumors of doom spread throughout the organization. Employees get more anxious and stressed,which negatively impacts their ability to focus on customer needs.

People may not be traveling as much now and business is down in the hospitality industry. The economy will improve and business and recreational travel will increase. 

The Kimpton Hotels and Restaurant Group is still opening new hotels, taking care of guests and providing them with extraordinary service. Their guests will continue to return, tell people they know, share their experience on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn et al. The Kimpton Hotels and Restaurant Group will flourish. They’re ready for the economic upswing.

 Are you losing customers to your competition because you’ve skimped on employee appreciation and customer service?   Now is the time to develop and implement a strategy to take care of your customers and your employees so you can prepare for your economic upswing.

01:29 am | 0 recommendations | 4 comments

Don't Be a Grinch In Today's Economy

According to the American Psychological Association stressis costing US businesses 300 Billion Dollars.

Millions of people are stressed out like never before.Companies have gone out of business, there have been massive lay-offs, and there’s an uncertainty permeating the work environment.

Everyone needs a break. Even if you love what you do youneed to take time to recharge. 

Instead, so many businesses have cancelled conferences and retreats for fear of looking like they’re wasting money. I don’t understand why some of these organizations had knee jerk reactions, and cancelled conferences and meetings where they would have had an opportunity to share challenges and best practices with each other. Off-site conferences are a way for employees to release their stress and return to work refocused, motivated and ready to create.

A recent article in the New Yorker by James Surowiecki mentions organizations that separated themselves from the pack during past depressions and recessions.

• 1933 depression- Kraft introduced Miracle Whip. In six months it was the bestselling

• 1954 recession- Texas Instruments brought out the transistor radio

• 2001 Apple launched the Ipod

All three of these organizations were able to engage and utilize the talent in theirorganization during economic down turns. They were willing to invest in their organization and their employees. They didn’t cut back and hope for the best. They continued to become the best.

In these stressful times, employees need to know they are valued since so many of them are working harder than ever to do more with less. The more valued people feel, the easier it is to engage them, and utilize skills and talents you didn’t even know they had. This can be a good time to leverage those talents and forge ahead of your competition.

Take care of your employees and they will increase your chances for success in any economy. 

01:20 am | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

If You Lived Every Day Like It Was Your Last Day, You Wouldn't Get Anything Done

I confess that there are some weekends where I sit at my computer writing or researching for hours to meet client deadlines or catch up on work. The last time I did this, a colleague who knew I consulted on life/work balance issues decided to remind me that when I'm gone my son wouldn't remember me for how good I was at work but whether or not I attended his Saturday baseball games.

 My response was. "My son doesn't play baseball, and as much as I love my son and enjoy spending time with him, he would certainly remember if I didn't work at all. was with him every minute and we ended up homeless."  

When I work on a weekend, I take extra time for myself and family during the week. There is no life/work balance bible that says never work weekends, start at 8:00  or  whenever and end at 5:00. I didn't start my business to be on someone else's schedule. Some people love that kind of schedule and it works very well for their professional and personal life. 

Personal and professional, work or life, it's all part of the same life. Trying to live someone else's idea of life is exhausting and a waste of time. Too many self-help life/work balance gurus keep parroting the same cliches. 

 I think we would do better to think in terms of life/work integration. 

Another cliche time waster is "Live every day like it's your last,  because you never know what  will  happen tomorrow."  I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but if I were to live every day like it was my last, I'd probably be out trying to figure out how to have more days, or I'd be on the phone or on twitter saying goodbye to everyone , and making plans to see them on the other side.

We do have to appreciate and live in each moment. There is always something to be grateful for, even if it's friends, family and community to help us in our darkest hours. It's also ok to not be grateful for those dark hours. But everyone I know is busy and we don't want to waste time, so when some do-gooder spouts those aforementioned cliches, I have to walk away thinking "don't waste my listening time or your talking  time." 

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