Wouldn't Life Be Easier If We Took the Customer out of Customer Service?

My pet peeve are signs that direct customers: “please leave tables clean”, “only bills under $20”, “please lower the seat after use”, etc. The ones that bother me most are usually signed, “the Management”. It’s adversarial. I’m certain if they could run the business without customers they would.

I'm amused by the rhetoric at boutique hotels and beds-and-breakfast, where they want to preserve the gentle, nurturing and lovely user experience they create through the over-use of frilly fabrics, but also have to deal with large numbers of people and their naturally uncooperative behavior. So they couch their instructions/demands in a fake kindness. "We ask that you...." "In consideration of other guests...." The use of an ornate script font on these exhortations only adds to it. And of course what they expect you to do is often seemingly capricious - "in consideration of other guests we ask that you refrain from using an entire fire log in your bedroom fireplace. Please use the provided hacksaw to reduce the size of the fire log. Thank you, Bill and Melinda" This whole thing was actually fodder for a stand-up routine I did a while back :)

The sign that just burns me is at several of our local Subways sandwich shops. "Please end your cell phone conversations before ordering. Our sandwich artists will give you their undivided attention if you give them yours." I personally find the sign to be just as rude, if not more so than talking on a cell phone while ordering.

Here's a little exercise to determine whether you and your company are closer to the customer-centric ideal or the profit-centric cellar. First, imagine you are so wealthy you couldn't possibly spend, invest or bequeath another dime. Would you continue doing the work you do because of its intrinsic value to customers and fun for yourself? Now, imagine you need the money but have found a way to make just as much, maybe even a little more, without any customer interaction. Would you do it? Be honest. Which feels better in your soul?

And then, right at the bottom of the box I am typing in right now: Please Post your comment only once. Clicking on Post more than once may result in multiple postings. If your comment doesn't appear immediately, please reload the page in a few minutes. Oh, the irony...

I think I'll take the devil's advocate position on this topic. HAving worked closely with customers my entire business life, I can tell you that most companies strive for reasonable accomodations to satisfy a customer. However, there are "those" custmoers that, frankly, companies just don't want because they're either asking for unreasonable things or they're purposely trying to get something for nothing. While it's a small percentage that I speak about, I believe that many times when a "customer" claims they've been treated unfairly, a close look at the "customer" needs to be done.