Picking Out the Perfect Christmas Tree

My wife ordered up a new holiday tradition for my 4 children and me:  "It's time we went to go cut down our own Chrsitmas Tree!" 

So we piled into the minivan and ambled out to the country, where we encountered rows and rows and rows of Christmas trees.  It was fun at first.  I grabbed my farm-issued saw, my 12-year-old twin boys engaged in a snowball fight, and my 2 young girls sipped hot cider as we searched for the perfect tree. 

Within minutes, we had assessed and dismissed dozens of trees, certain the perfect tree was just around the bend.  We could agree on nothing.  After an hour, and immediately after my wife summarily dismissed yet another tree I picked out, my son Matt (red-faced after being pelted by a snowball from his brother, Ryan) exclaimed, "What are we looking for?  How tall does it need to be?  How wide?  How full?  What type?  I’m cold and tired, and I want to go home!”

Once we were able to identify our tree criteria, we more quickly cast away the losers, and soon after that we landed on our nearly perfect 2010 Christmas tree.