It's been one week since the country elected its first black president. All eyes are on America. Words like hope, change and forward thinking are being bandied about like never before. The US is a developed country right? Obama in office is proof of just how developed right? America can once again settle comfortably back into its undisputed position as world leader yes? After all, the nation sets an example for the rest of the world, particularly countries in which equal rights are not yet affirmed. Right?
Wrong. Racism may be off the map for now, but the US, just like everywhere else in the world has a long way to go. For one thing, the country is still rife with sexism.
I come from a developing country and have grown up watching women unquestioningly take a back seat to men. For years I've heard stories of women being beaten by their husbands, female fetuses being aborted or worse yet female babies being killed, widows being forced to burn themselves on the funeral pyres of their dead husbands, acid being thrown at women by rejected suitors, exorbitant dowry demands compelling young girls' families to sell everything but the clothes on their backs. Coming from a big city, I've never encountered any of this myself, but knowing that I lived in a country in which thousands of others did was sobering.
Then I came here. I went to school at the nation's oldest women's college, Mount Holyoke. I saw a breed of woman I had never seen before -- tough, intelligent, determined and passionate. And as I looked at this country through the eyes of an immigrant, I saw a world of possibility that defied barriers of age, race, caste and especially sex that I had grown up hearing about. Sexism, it seemed, had faded into a very distant shadow from the past. But college ended, I moved on, and I eventually meandered into the untrammeled world that is the Web. The walls came down, the masks came on and the politically correct BS I had so willingly bought into dissipated into thin air.
Yesterday, an article I wrote on the most influential women in web 2.0 went up on FastCompany.com. The comments it elicited on Digg were unprecedented. (Update: Digg's founder Kevin Rose emailed me after I posted this blog to say that his team is in the process of deleting any comments on this article that violate the site's terms of use. So the comments I highlighted may not all still appear.) A few applauded the list, a few critiqued it and offered others they thought should have been featured, but the overwhelming majority went like this:
seantubridy
Do her... Wouldn't do her... Wouldn't do her... Do her... Do her... Wouldn't do her... Wouldn't do her... Ugh, who hasn't done her? Wouldn't do her... Do her... Argghh!
zoydberg
not the chicks from 2 girls 1 cup?
Scootie
"insert female porn star name here"
smallchaz
The most influential woman in 2.0 is a man.
Huangism
is any girl that will show some skin
wassim2k
You can probably fit a bus in her vag.
chaosatom333
I'd hit each one of them.
MacintoshMan
There are no women on the Internet.
Humdain
"Do her, do her, Oh who hasn't done her, do her, lose the pigtails and we'll talk"
What is it about the online space that brings out not only the best, but the absolute worst in people? Where are all these people in real life? Do they just never leave their holes, I mean homes? Or are they people I run into all the time -- at work, on the subway, at a bar downtown or at Starbucks?
The first thought that comes to mind whenever I run into ugliness like this is the New Yorker cartoon: "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." The comfortable anonymity offered by the Web allows people, in this case men, to say whatever it is they actually think deep down. And their feelings are incontrovertibly sexist. These are the same people we all run into in real life. But in the offline world, like the Ku Klux Klan when their masks are put away, it's hard to tell who's who. Men offline would never dare claim ownership to the ludicrous statements they so freely spout on the Web.
Where do these feelings stem from? Is it bitterness, callousness, loneliness, boredom, resentment or a genuine belief that women are inadequate? Digg is an Internet forum so perhaps this isn't all that serious. But then again, it's THE Internet forum and it's a fairly good indication of what people are thinking.
Admittedly, the list FastCompany.com came up with is not perfect. The word "influential" like other adjectives is subjective. We anticipated disagreement and disgruntlement. We expected some names to be disputed, and others to be offered up. Sheryl Sandberg, Charlene Li, Susan Mernit, Tara Hunt, Angie Chang, Jane Hu, Mary Hodder, Anastasia Goodstein and Allyson Kapin are just some of the names we considered for the list and eventually rejected -- not because they aren't important or influential, but because they didn't fit the very specific criteria we had decided upon for the purposes of this list.
To clarify, as the introduction to the piece clearly states, "our list wasn't chosen by star power, nor by career altitude." Rather, we judged each candidate on a single criterion: has she definitively changed the way we interact online? Some of these women gave us new tools to speak to one another. Others put those tools in more people’s hands. Still others are thought leaders, attempting to simplify and enhance how we interact online. We offered you these names knowing our list would spark debate.
When I initially decided to look into doing a piece on women in the world of Web 2.0, I talked to several people in my quest for an angle. One recurring theme that emerged was how hard it is for women to make it in Web 2.0.
"It's a heck of an interesting proposition to raise money from angel investors. You have to bring a guy with you whether it's a 16 yr old you saw on the street or your grandfather. It's sad but true," said Dina Kaplan of blip.tv when I asked her about how women were progressing in her field.
"There are definitely some women who have emerged like Gina Bianchini from Ning. But the blogosphere is where you hear so much about web 2.0 and it is very male dominated. There's still a lot of sexism there. There are perceptions and stereotypes and roles we play into. I'm thinking about Sarah Lacey being targeted at South by Southwest and Cathy Sierra being targeted for no other reason that I can think of except her gender. They attacked her and bullied her. I don't know why it's so hard for women to gain visibility in this space," said Anastasia Goodstein who writes YPulse, a blog about youth marketing to teens and tweens.
"There are so many women pioneers in this field, but the press doesn't cover them. Tech reporters at the New York Times and the Washington Post tend to cover the same handful of men they view as pioneers instead of looking outside the box," said Allyson Kapin, the founder and organizer of Women Who Tech.
"In Silicon Valley, everything is fluid and temporary. There are no employers or employees as such. With no tradition here, we're losing the opportunity to develop a better social structure. People make ridiculous remarks to women and there's no oversight. Silicon Valley is all about getting eyeballs and numbers for your product, money. That structure is never going to support good behavior between those who are the defaults (the white males) and everyone else. It's an environment that's very supportive when it comes to developing new technologies but is otherwise not supportive of anyone but the default. Silicon Valley has always been full of very brash, young experimental crazy thinking people. The role for young men to be mentored by older men who when they go too far just doesn't exist," said Mary Hodder, founder of video site Dabble.
She went on to talk about the difficulty of securing VC funding as a woman: "I think it's fair to say that one of the reasons I had such a hard time getting funding was because I didn't have a business partner. There's no sole woman out there getting funding. Even BlogHer consists of multiple women… It's really difficult for a woman to get funding -- unless you're willing to take your shirt off on TechCrunch. I just don't think we should have to do that."
I listened to it all, and then made a decision. This article would focus on the things that have been achieved, rather than the challenges that still exist. Because the world can say what they will, women are doing some amazing work on the Web, and they're doing this despite a wide variety of difficulties -- raising funds, being hired and promoted, gaining technical experience, and being taken seriously -- that men just do not have to grapple with. They deserve to be acknowledged for their work, and for their courage.
Related Stories: | Topics:Innovation, Ethonomics, dig, Gina Bianchini, Dabble, Dina Kaplan, Anastasia Goodstein, male, comments, sexism, sexist, criticism, Marry Hodder, influential women in web 2.0, Allyson Kapin., United States, Digg Inc., Silicon Valley, Allyson Kapin, Anastasia Goodstein |
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Recent Comments | 97 Total
November 15, 2008 at 5:28pm by heynonnymoose
you shut your face you nigger loving pile of intestinal feces, ill rip your bowels out and feast on them, then i'll impregnate your girlfriend and wait 7 months then unravel her belly button and suck out all the vaginal discharge and feast upon the baby. i will fornicate your liver, then make you guzzle gallon after gallon of putrid diarrhea. you will gag on my green logs of asshole mud butter
November 15, 2008 at 5:30pm by heynonnymoose
I watched this whole program on National Geographic entitled 'The Dark Side of Dolphins' and let me tell you, dolphins are total assholes. So here's the deal, male dolphins travel in packs of two. These males want to get laid, and so they trap a female between them and keep her captive for up to a month, having sex with her as they please. If she tries to get away, they will beat her with their snouts and fins. When you see large groups of them it's just a bunch of these two packs of males joining together to keep captive a few females so that they can gang rape her. The females hate it and try to get away but then get beaten up. If and when the female gives birth she won't want to have sex while protecting her young, and so males will gang up and try in some instatnces to kill the baby inorder to have sex with the mother. Bottom line, dolphins are assholes. According to marine biolgoists dolphins could have normal courtship and sex, but the males choose not to they prefer gang rape. Dolphins are assholes.
November 15, 2008 at 5:34pm by heynonnymoose
/b/, You have a huge crush on this girl. She's cute, hot, funny, smart, playful, fun, etc. Bad news though: you're in the friend zone. Hardcore. You guys hang out a lot, you may even cuddle when you watch movies, but that's it. You want more and she sees you as totally asexual. Everyone on /b/ has been where I'm describing.
Well, /b/, I've finally come up with a solution: drugs. Let me explain.
Put 5 milligrams of oxycodone in her food/drink/etc. It's not enough to get her high, but she'll still be in an amazing mood and won't know why. She'll have a continuous warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach the entire time you're hanging out. Do this every time you hang out with her. After 3 dates, she'll be convinced that she has fallen in love with you. After she comes forward with it, stop dosing her and the placebo effect will do the rest.
Enjoy your dream-come-true, /b/.
November 15, 2008 at 5:41pm by heynonnymoose
Josef Fritzl (lulz, he kept teh kidz in teh dunjun) is the Final Boss of teh /b/tards. According to Google and Wikipedia Intelligence Services he may also be a former Austrian migrant leading a double-agent life in Australia now, he is serial committer of incest, sick fuck and pretty cool guy who became a meme on 4chan's /b/ circa April 29, 2008. After his recent arrest last Thursday, he is being watched by the authorities who suspect that he may attempt to become an hero as a result of guilt over his actions. However, he would find a welcome home in 4chan, because /b/tards loev him for what he did. Fritzl has received a mountain of 200 love letters from lonely women offering him romance as well. Some of the women have said that Fritzl is "good at heart" and "misunderstood". They believe that he wanted to keep his daughter out of trouble, so he kept her prisoner for most of her life. Despite his arrest, he finds time to post on The Soapbox as SpiderWire.
Like his fellow Australian, Hitler, Josef is a radical sadist and the personification of Evil who has made his own family suffer for a very long time by playing "Light & Darkness" with their lives and their souls in a extreme possessive way, like a mentally ill Dictator. He began abusing his daughter Elizabeth in 1977 when she was loli, and then when she was a teenager in 1984, he locked her inside a dungeon and told the rest of the world she was missing, where she would remain for at least 100 years. But Josef Fritzl's defensive words to excuse his acts were that his daughter was totally asking for it. By the time she emerged in 2008, she was a forty-something shadow of her former self, and had given birth to eight children from him. One of the children died and was baked in an oven by Josef. Three of those children had never seen the light of day. Two of them were aged 18 and 19, making them older than you. Due to the low ceilings of the basement, the older children walk with a permanent hunch, while the youngest child prefers to crawl, although he can walk. The children communicate with each other through a combination of speech and animal sounds. The other children apparently lived a normal life. Other people thought they were his grandchildren (which they were, but just not in the conventional sense, lol).
Josef had apparently told his captives that the basement door was wired to explode, and that poisonous gas canisters were primed to pump their lungs full of Zyklon B if they tried to open the door to sweet freedom.
His defense lawyer plans to argue that all Mr. Fritzl was doing is putting Plato's Allegory of the cave to practice, and that he is being persecuted, like many great Australian scientists in the past.
The mass media threw a shit fit when they found out about this, and now Josef is on suicide watch. Our verdict: he did it for the lulz. Police have voiced fears that Fritzl - who is 73 and has a heart condition - will die in prison before his victims can reveal exactly what happened to them. Fritzl has also told his jailers that he needs daily exercise outside because he hates being cooped up in his cell.
The past news suggests that the 19-year-old girl who is in hospital might die, but fortunately good news turns it in to hope. On May 27, Kerstin Fritzl finally woke up from the coma, and on May 28, three of the children returned to school. Authorities said after the case surfaced last month, Fritzl's victims might get new identities to help them start over.
In June, cops revealed that daughter Elisabeth is too traumatized to be questioned, and police have been unable to quiz the three of the seven children fathered by Fritzl who also lived in the cellar. Medical experts have warned police it could be two years before the victims reveal all about the Cellar Terror of Josef - by which time, they fear, Fritzl my have already passed away.
It is rumored that he may have created several similar basements in Norway. Archaeologists have found two so far, and they all have a loli in them. One of his best friends live in Norway, and it is believed that he might have helped him and/or given him permission to use his house.
Recently, a petition has been started to free this kind, gentle man. You can help by signing it.
“
It would seem, the life he's been leading is the dream of 13 year olds pervert teen Gangs and every /b/tard on the internets:
Domination Incest Kiddiefuck Jailbaitfuck Dumb wife.
„
—Anonymous
“
EPIC Australian incest guy:
His dungeons are incest.
His face is >:/
„
—Anonymous
“
I think Epic Australian incest guy is a pretty cool dude. eh rapes the loli and doesn't afraid of anything.
„
—Anonymous
Psy Experts put the brute on the couch for the first time since he was arrested more than two weeks ago.
They believe that, like serial killer Harold Shipman, he reveled in "playing God " with other people's lives.
Psychiatrist Christian Ludke said: "He enjoyed being the master of life and death. He's the personification of the terrifying power of evil - the devil ."
Dr. Ludke said Fritzl was emotionally abused by his mother . He said: "That's why he became an abuser.
“
He had sick fantasies. He couldn't take revenge on his mother. So he wreaked it on his own children.
„
—Psy Experts , May 13 2008
However, new evidence has came to light which suggests that these heinous acts were committed neither for the ensuing lulz nor in an attempt to playGod but were actually part of a wider conspiracy to propagate the Jewish race.
“
When I started building my dungeon more than 99 years ago I never foresaw the humour potential. All I ever wanted was a continuous supply of jew-eggs, they are legion of youth.
„
—Josef 'Closet Romantic' Fritzl, October 14 2008
Hey Faggots,
My name is Josef, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at my stupid pictures. I will rape everything in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I've refurnished my basement, and have seven kids/grandkids. What have you done, other than jack off to naked drawn Japanese people? I get laid ANY time I want, and I have a banging hot daughter (I just raped her; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
Alternate Version
Hey Grandchildren,
My name is Josef, and I am going to rape every single one of you. All of you are attractive, under aged lolis who spend every second of their day getting raped in my basement. You are everything that is attractive in this basement. Honestly, have any of you ever seen daylight? I mean, I guess it's fun getting repeatedly raped by me, but you all take being rape victims to a whole new level. This is even worse than making a whiny YouTube video about your rape experiences.
Don't be frigid. Just give me your best head. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the rape team, and we went all the way to the Australian nationals. What sports do you play, other than hide grandfather's purple parsnip? I also mentally scar children for life, and have a banging hot daughter (She just blew me; Shit was SO non-consensual). You are all my grandchildren who should just keep quiet and spread your legs for me every other day. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and your mother
Fresh Prince of Cell-Air
The Fresh Prince of Cell-Air
The Fresh Prince of Cell-Air
Now this is a story all about how my
Life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the prince of my house’s Cel-Air
In west Australia born and raised
On my daughter is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And all beatin' some loli outside of the school
When a couple of years they were up to no good
Started agein' lolis in my neighborhood
I got one little erection and my mom got scared
And said, "You're movin' with your hot teenage daughter in Cel-Air."
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said “CHRIS” and it had dice in the mirror
If anything they could say that my girl was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Cel-Air!"
She crawled out of the house after 7 offspring
And she yelled to the cabby "yo Hansen, my sav’ya"
Looked at my kingdom I sure wish she was there
To sit on my girl as the prince of Cel-Air.
Alternate Version
Now this is a story all about how my
Life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the prince of my house’s Cellair
In west Australia born and raised
Fucking my daughter is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
and building incest dungeons underneath my pool
I took three kids out cuz they were all good
told my wife they were just children from the neighborhood.
I fucked just one of my daughters the police got scared
But they don't know the pin-code to my daughter's Cellair.
They called the partyvan and when it got near
The license plate said “AUSTRALIA” and it had dice in the mirror
"you crazy" they said, "those ideas in your head are rare,"
I said, "cool homes, it's rape time, home, to Cellair!"
She crawled out the house after 7 offspring
And she yelled to the cops "Yo, I can't speak Australian"
But I'm still pimping, I got three more lairs,
so come and party with me, in my second Cellair.
Fritzl Fritzl Baby
Fritzl Fritzl Baby
Fritzl Fritzl Baby
Alright stop
Collaborate and listen Fritzls back with a brand new intention
Josef grabs a hold of you tightly , locked in the basement daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo, i don't know
Turn out the lights and she'll blow
To the extreme, I cum inside like a vandal
Flip the bitch over and shove it straight in her asshole
24 years got you locked in this room
I'm killing your brain and filling up your womb
Deadly when I father 7 kids is hardly
Anything less than the best of a felony
Love it or leave it you better not escape
You try to put it in her but the kid wont play
If there is a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out my cellar before the five-oh dissolve it
Now that the party is jumping
With your ass locked in and the kid gets a thumping
Quick to the point to the point no faking
Im churning out kids like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a twin 'bro
And a siren with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my pants pulled down with my dick she'll blow
My wifes on standby waving just to say hi
Did you stop no I just came by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a nut and I'm heading to the next block
The bitch was dead
Yo so I continued to A1A Melbourne Avenue
Daughters hot wearing less than bikinis
CP lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
His sister with a guage and Fritzl with his nine
Squeeling tie the bitch on the wall
The wifes acting ill because i emptied my balls on my
Daughter she rang out like a bell
I grabbed my dick and fucked her in the mouth like hell
Falling on the concrete real fast
Went to the basement and then i put it in her ass
Bumper to bumper the pussy was packed
I tried to get away before the jackers jacked
Police on the scene, you know what I mean
They locked me up, and then they threw away the key
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out my dungeon while my wife comes and cleans it
WHEN I WAS
A YOUNG GIRL
MY FATHER
TOOK ME INTO THE CELLAR
AND KEPT ME THERE TO STAY
HE SAID
BITCH WHEN
YOU GROW UP
WILL YOU BE
THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN
AND KNOW THAT IT'S OKAY
HE SAID
WILL YOU
KEEP QUIET
AND BLOW ME EVERY OTHER WEEK NIGHT
WITH SEX ON SATURDAYS
BECAUSE ONE DAY
I'LL LEAVE YOU
A PHANTOM
AND PUT YOU IN THE SPOTLIGHT
OH WHAT A GRAND CHARADE
Landlord seeks new longterm tenant to immediately occupy recently vacated apartment. Tenant would preferably be female. Basement apartment, 2 bedrooms, bathroom and economy kitchen. 650 sq ft.
Special Features: Noise proof so you don't have to hear those pesky neighbors, and secure entrance w/ keycode. Furnished.
Rent is $600 or free in return for rape
Please Contact Josef Fritzl
DIY Josef Fritzl
House of Raep. Follow the diagram.
House of Raep. Follow the diagram.
As you can clearly see from the diagram to the right, it is actually very easy to create such a house. First, you must be a complete sick fuck. Next, you need to think of a way to not make anyone suspect anything of you. Here are the steps:
Step 1: Dig underneath house, and make sure there is tons of room to move around
Step 2: Now start to forge the rooms. Make a really beautiful bathroom, and put a toy elephant on top of cabinet
Step 3: Drug loli
Step 4: Handcuff loli and take in to brand new living area
Step 5: Create super sophisticated locking mechanisms on door
Step 6: RAEP
Step 7: Repeat until loli gives birth 7 times
Step 8: Dead baby? NO PROBLEM! Just burn it in a fire!
Step 9: Keep 3 children and loli for 10 - 24 years.
Step 10: Release captive because SHE IS TOTALLY NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE OF THE HORRORS SHE HAS EXPERIENCED AND GET YOU V&
Step 11: Get V&
Step 12: Become meme
Step 13: Rot in jail
Step 14: ????
Step 15: PROFIT
PROTIP: THESE STEPS ARE ONLY KNOWN TO WORK IN AUSTRALIA, AND AS A RESULT THE EFFECTS MAY BE DIFFERENT IN YOUR COUNTRY, PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Fritzlulz: Aged in Basements with Raep
Fritzlbrau special reserve.
Fritzlbrau special reserve.
THERE ONCE WAS AN AUSTRALIAN NAMED FRITZL
WHO PENETRATED HIS DAUGHTER WITH SCHNITZEL
ALONE IN THE DARK
SHE HOWLED AND SHE BARKED
'CAUSE THROUGH YEARS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE HER FATHER HAD CONVINCED HER SHE WAS A STUPID BITCH
Ok you yankee sons of bitches, I'm sick to fucking death of all you saying this fella is Australian. He's from Austria, in fucking Europe you dingbats. I wouldn't care because you're just making yourselves look stupid except this shit is getting pasted ALL OVER THE FUCKING INTERNET and now everyone's saying he's Australian, strewth. I'm Australian and you're giving us a bad name by being stupid yanks who have no knowledge of anything outside their own country. Now either learn the difference between AUSTRALIA and AUSTRIA or rack off. Crikey!
„
— Americans pretending to be Australians
* As suspected, we can ascertain that Australians are proud of their national hero. God Speed, Josef.
* Only Australians use the word "Dingbat".
Facts and Figures
* An Australian man was asked what his approach was to his children's sex education. "I like to keep them in the dark", he said.
* Australian Führer Gusenbauer has started a program to reduce loli incest rape by 35% within the next to years, bringing the numbers down to only 60 per day.
* 70% of Australian homes are reportedly equipped with fully upgradeable rape-dungeons.
* Joesef Fritzl, putting the "rape" back in "grape".
* Joesef Fritzl created a new meme, "BRB, RAPE"
* Fritzl fed his grandchildren nothing but sandwiches for 24 years...good thing they were inbred, moar like inBREAD, amirite? Get it, because they ate sandwiches?
* Josef's band.
* Australian women are like a fine wine, best left to mature in a cellar
A Challenger Appears!
WHAT ARE THE SCORES, GEORGE DAWES?
WHAT ARE THE SCORES, GEORGE DAWES?
Around 2007 a woman in Brno, Czech Republic bought a baby monitor and was startled when she turned it on to find it picking up 12chan. In fact, the pictures of little boys being sexually abused were coming from her next door neighbor Klara Mauerova; a paid up member of The Grail Movement who was cutting up her kids a bit at a time for her fellow members to eat.
The partyvan bust down the door and freed little Ondrej and his brother Jakob, both ten years old, along with their 13 year old adopted sister, Anicka. Little did they know that 13 year old Anicka was actually 33 year old Barbora, an accomplice to the cult who promptly took the chance to escape.
Barbora was apprehended months later in Oslo, having shaved all her hair off in order to pose as a 13 year old boy. No, that's not a meme, that's what really happened. She claimed she was being manipulated and taking orders from a man calling himself The Doctor.
Maybe next time they should CZECH for TRAPS!
“
Moral of the story? Don't mess with Czechs. We're really, really, really, really, really weird.
„
—Kaja, ED Mailing List
Having said that, is she as cool as Josef Fritzl? Is she fuck. Fritzl would rape her ass then eat her for breakfast given half the chance.
November 15, 2008 at 9:45pm by heynonnymoose
Kool-Aid, not to be confused with Kool-AIDS, was invented by the Reverend Jim Jones in the late 1970s, in all food groups (red, urnge, green, blue, and turkwise) as a way to experience spiritual enlightenment, as well as quench thirst. OH YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although hugely popular, sales of Kool-Aid suffered a setback after it was found that a batch was laced with cyanide, killing 913 residents of Jonestown, Guyana. OH YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Jones used Flavor Aid in his mass suicide, not Kool Aid. Only niggers drink Kool Aid, niggas always need mo Kool-Aid.
Sometime in the 1980s, some douche made this comic.
These days Kool-Aid is only drunk by black people and zealots. OHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Kool-aid also is a metaphor that means drinking a mind altering drug that makes you get into liberalism.
Family Guy recently realized that the Kool-Aid guy was the subject of the only funny joke they've ever made, and decided to pointlessly re-use it verbatim. Seth McFarlane has confirmed that all future episodes of Family Guy will consist solely of flashbacks to the aforementioned joke, interspersed with Stewie making sexual innuendos for fan service. OH YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
LOL DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SUCKS COCKS!!! (Flavor-aide is the thirst-quencher of choice for Jim Jones.)
November 15, 2008 at 10:21pm by heynonnymoose
I'm an Alpha male /b/.
And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?
Yeah, I'm fucking her.
The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?
Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.
The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?
Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?
November 16, 2008 at 12:42am by heynonnymoose
You can try to outrun her, but she's faster than the fastest man. And if you leave your home while she's knocking on your door, she won't be so courteous when she catches up to you.
Now the man was certain that this thing had killed his sister, that he had tried to tell the police, but they would not listen. Next he had tried to tell his priest, but the priest turned him away when he saw that the thing was following him now - oh, that's right, I forgot about that - it can only get you if you tell someone else about it, or you saw it kill someone else. The man, after finishing his tale, stole a car from the mission, and was never seen again."
Apparently his mother and father had immediately called his aunt about this when it happened. They were found in the morning, skinned and dismembered. Their bodies were covered in tiny, child-like handprints."
His aunt was really drunk the night before, and had told him about that. He told me this story early in the morning today at school, before the cops arrived. His aunt had been murdered that night. I called him later that night, and he told me that he was being chased by someone, and now they were knocking on his door. I told him to stop shitting me.
He held the phone away from his face for a minute, and I could hear slow, deliberate knocking. A moment later, I heard the door rip from its hinges and the dying screams of my friend.
Then a little girl's voice spoke over the line: "WITNESS." I hung up.
Three minutes ago someone started knocking on my door. She has to knock 28 times on my front door, 28 times on the mirror in the hall, and another 28 times on the door to my bedroom. She's doing it slowly... I think she wants to scare me some more, let me know that my death is just moments away. I will not run - I couldn't get to my car in time anyway. She started knocking on my bedroom door a minute ago, she should be done any moment.
Nice knowing you guys, it's been fuy5
WITNESS
November 16, 2008 at 12:46am by heynonnymoose
ENJOY THE COPYPASTA BITCHEZZZZZZZ!!!!!!! EPIC EPIC LULZ!!!!!!
November 16, 2008 at 1:50am by heynonnymoose
Just like there are no girls on the internet, it is common knowledge that there are also no black people on the internet. Whether this is due to the fact that there typically aren't internet connections in cotton fields or whether computers are beyond the average ape, this simple statement has given internet savvy races free reign over treatment of blacks on the tubes. Certain political or social groups revel in that circumstance and create tons of laughably poor-quality web sites where they carry on crazy-assed, one-sided conversations about the evils of niggerdom. Their absence, and hence inability to defend themselves, has made them the center of countless memes, image macros, and hilarious videos.
Further Evidence
BITCH WUT CHU MEAN NO MO CHIKINZ?!?!11
BITCH WUT CHU MEAN NO MO CHIKINZ?!?!11
“
[this game] Looks pretty crap so far, i was hoping for non-urban settings like hanging out in a farm house with zombies crawling over fields and ditches.And did i see a n1gger in a screenshot? There are no niggers on the internet and niggers dont play games, so who wants to play as a n1gger anyway?
„
—Ulfus, on niggas in vidya games
Also
This looks shopped
This looks shopped
How come you never see any black goths?
“
There are no black goths. There are no black people on the internet.
„
—Ouroboros
November 16, 2008 at 2:06am by heynonnymoose
The "shit was SO cash" copypasta appeared on 4chan's /b/ sometime in mid-to-late 2007, as a picture of a typical Guido fuck with his girlfriend mocking nerdy basement-dwellers. Said guido was Paulie Carbone, a young man whose early death was mourned by relatives with heartfelt internet videos. Like gay bees to semen-flavored honey, the denizens of 4chan gobbled up this salty load of copypasta with smiles on their faces, and it spread like fail wildfire AIDS in a closed pool.
At first this forced meme was seen as a typical example of the cancer that is killing /b/; a typical piece of unfunny copypasta like any other. However as the original text was spammed relentlessly, chemo was performed on it, and many lulzy variations were created of the original load of copypasta, complete with an image and the variant text, making it notable for being one of the few memes to go from fail to a level of win. John, the protagonist of the original copypasta, is also dead IRL.
The failed meme has been briefly revived in the current SOHH projects. Typical use of the meme now involves the spelling "SOHH CASH". This is to reference the numerous idiots niggers on the SOHH.com forums who foolishly and blatantly challenged 4chan/ /b/ /Anonymous to an internet war welfare match.
It may be interesting to note that it is currently under debate as to whether John's original copypasta was not the successful efforts of a troll who happened upon said "Paul Carbone" memorial page on MySpace. This is largely due to the fact that the death date of Mr. Cash and the birth-date of the delicious copypasta appear to cross each other in the gray area.
November 16, 2008 at 2:07am by heynonnymoose
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
November 16, 2008 at 2:11am by heynonnymoose
Hey guys,
My name is Jenna, and I'm asking every single one of you to help me. My boyfriend is this skinny, greasy-haired guido who spends every second of his day looking at his stupid ass hair. He is everything bad with today's youth. Honestly, do all men brag about having fucked their "bitches" last night? I mean, I guess it's because of peer pressure and trying to be accepted, but he takes it to a whole new level. This is even worse than drinking beer all day and listening to Heavy Metal.
Don't ignore me. Please, help me. I'm pretty much desperate. I was a regular at the literature club, and vice-president of the science club. I also had a thing for classical music? I used to get straight A's, that is, before I met him (He just made me blow him; Shit was SO gross). He's a faggot, and I want to kill him. Please help me!
Pic Related: It's me.
November 16, 2008 at 2:13am by heynonnymoose
Hey faggots. Its the real JOHN - well for real my name is Joey, it seems like youre even too retarded to see the difference.
It seems like you keep reposting my image the whole time, you're even editing my text and photo. Do you think I care? Youre just miserable - it's just like I said. By doing this you try to hide your own problems. Fuckin HUGE problems
Well, my life keeps getting better and better. I just dropped my bitch: shes just a whore who slept with my best friend (well, I still wouldnt kick her out of bed for eating crackers). Also I keep BIG PIMPIN, just got a new fuckin spendy car (a porsche) and changed my style - calling it BLUE STEEL. And you? I guess the best thing you did in the last month was masturbatin to some drawn animal sex or sick shit like that; well Ill meet two girls tonight and plan to get off with both of them.
So, do the world a favor and kill yourself before youll rape a person for real. You make me sick.
Pic related: its me and my car
November 16, 2008 at 2:19am by heynonnymoose
John's death was SO crash
"John" is actually Paulie Carbone, who died July 10th 2007 in a fucking idiotic street racing accident where he and his idiot friend sprayed their combined 2 oz. of brains over the pavement of mountainside street in Jersey. Since his death was SO cash, his friends and family immediately created several shitty videos on YouTube with shitty songs. Because you don't fucking mourn by posting vids on YouTube visible for everyone, Anonymous, as the good-hearted person he is, offered the Carbones his condolences (video has been removed) NEW VIDEO ANONYMOUS DOES NOT FORGET at the comments page resulting in Paulie's mom getting a heavy period and going crazy in the comments herself.
"every thing you write will be deleted if you want to say something come say it to my face pauls father would like to meet you oh also his uncle and friends and etc so keep it up come on fucking scumbag with the big mouth come say it to us so i can have you head protruding from your anus oh wait is already is with all the shit you say dirtbag i will be waiting that goes for all writing nasty comments come say it to me his mother who lost her only child also have your parents come meet me"
-pauliecmom
"YOU RELLY NEED TO STOPP NOW.. YOUR ALL JUST JEALOUS COZ HE WAS LOVED BY ALOT OF PEOPLE ND YOUR A WORTHLESS PiECE OF SHiT ND TRUST ME YOU DNT WANT US TO FiND YOU COZ TRUST ME YOULL HAVE TO BE HOSPiTALiZED.. GET A LiFE SCUMBAGS =]"
- mariaNpaulie
November 16, 2008 at 11:17am by heynonnymoose
POOL'S CLOSED DUE TO AIDS.
November 16, 2008 at 11:36am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLsqEL8TFwM