It's been one week since the country elected its first black president. All eyes are on America. Words like hope, change and forward thinking are being bandied about like never before. The US is a developed country right? Obama in office is proof of just how developed right? America can once again settle comfortably back into its undisputed position as world leader yes? After all, the nation sets an example for the rest of the world, particularly countries in which equal rights are not yet affirmed. Right?
Wrong. Racism may be off the map for now, but the US, just like everywhere else in the world has a long way to go. For one thing, the country is still rife with sexism.
I come from a developing country and have grown up watching women unquestioningly take a back seat to men. For years I've heard stories of women being beaten by their husbands, female fetuses being aborted or worse yet female babies being killed, widows being forced to burn themselves on the funeral pyres of their dead husbands, acid being thrown at women by rejected suitors, exorbitant dowry demands compelling young girls' families to sell everything but the clothes on their backs. Coming from a big city, I've never encountered any of this myself, but knowing that I lived in a country in which thousands of others did was sobering.
Then I came here. I went to school at the nation's oldest women's college, Mount Holyoke. I saw a breed of woman I had never seen before -- tough, intelligent, determined and passionate. And as I looked at this country through the eyes of an immigrant, I saw a world of possibility that defied barriers of age, race, caste and especially sex that I had grown up hearing about. Sexism, it seemed, had faded into a very distant shadow from the past. But college ended, I moved on, and I eventually meandered into the untrammeled world that is the Web. The walls came down, the masks came on and the politically correct BS I had so willingly bought into dissipated into thin air.
Yesterday, an article I wrote on the most influential women in web 2.0 went up on FastCompany.com. The comments it elicited on Digg were unprecedented. (Update: Digg's founder Kevin Rose emailed me after I posted this blog to say that his team is in the process of deleting any comments on this article that violate the site's terms of use. So the comments I highlighted may not all still appear.) A few applauded the list, a few critiqued it and offered others they thought should have been featured, but the overwhelming majority went like this:
seantubridy
Do her... Wouldn't do her... Wouldn't do her... Do her... Do her... Wouldn't do her... Wouldn't do her... Ugh, who hasn't done her? Wouldn't do her... Do her... Argghh!
zoydberg
not the chicks from 2 girls 1 cup?
Scootie
"insert female porn star name here"
smallchaz
The most influential woman in 2.0 is a man.
Huangism
is any girl that will show some skin
wassim2k
You can probably fit a bus in her vag.
chaosatom333
I'd hit each one of them.
MacintoshMan
There are no women on the Internet.
Humdain
"Do her, do her, Oh who hasn't done her, do her, lose the pigtails and we'll talk"
What is it about the online space that brings out not only the best, but the absolute worst in people? Where are all these people in real life? Do they just never leave their holes, I mean homes? Or are they people I run into all the time -- at work, on the subway, at a bar downtown or at Starbucks?
The first thought that comes to mind whenever I run into ugliness like this is the New Yorker cartoon: "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." The comfortable anonymity offered by the Web allows people, in this case men, to say whatever it is they actually think deep down. And their feelings are incontrovertibly sexist. These are the same people we all run into in real life. But in the offline world, like the Ku Klux Klan when their masks are put away, it's hard to tell who's who. Men offline would never dare claim ownership to the ludicrous statements they so freely spout on the Web.
Where do these feelings stem from? Is it bitterness, callousness, loneliness, boredom, resentment or a genuine belief that women are inadequate? Digg is an Internet forum so perhaps this isn't all that serious. But then again, it's THE Internet forum and it's a fairly good indication of what people are thinking.
Admittedly, the list FastCompany.com came up with is not perfect. The word "influential" like other adjectives is subjective. We anticipated disagreement and disgruntlement. We expected some names to be disputed, and others to be offered up. Sheryl Sandberg, Charlene Li, Susan Mernit, Tara Hunt, Angie Chang, Jane Hu, Mary Hodder, Anastasia Goodstein and Allyson Kapin are just some of the names we considered for the list and eventually rejected -- not because they aren't important or influential, but because they didn't fit the very specific criteria we had decided upon for the purposes of this list.
To clarify, as the introduction to the piece clearly states, "our list wasn't chosen by star power, nor by career altitude." Rather, we judged each candidate on a single criterion: has she definitively changed the way we interact online? Some of these women gave us new tools to speak to one another. Others put those tools in more people’s hands. Still others are thought leaders, attempting to simplify and enhance how we interact online. We offered you these names knowing our list would spark debate.
When I initially decided to look into doing a piece on women in the world of Web 2.0, I talked to several people in my quest for an angle. One recurring theme that emerged was how hard it is for women to make it in Web 2.0.
"It's a heck of an interesting proposition to raise money from angel investors. You have to bring a guy with you whether it's a 16 yr old you saw on the street or your grandfather. It's sad but true," said Dina Kaplan of blip.tv when I asked her about how women were progressing in her field.
"There are definitely some women who have emerged like Gina Bianchini from Ning. But the blogosphere is where you hear so much about web 2.0 and it is very male dominated. There's still a lot of sexism there. There are perceptions and stereotypes and roles we play into. I'm thinking about Sarah Lacey being targeted at South by Southwest and Cathy Sierra being targeted for no other reason that I can think of except her gender. They attacked her and bullied her. I don't know why it's so hard for women to gain visibility in this space," said Anastasia Goodstein who writes YPulse, a blog about youth marketing to teens and tweens.
"There are so many women pioneers in this field, but the press doesn't cover them. Tech reporters at the New York Times and the Washington Post tend to cover the same handful of men they view as pioneers instead of looking outside the box," said Allyson Kapin, the founder and organizer of Women Who Tech.
"In Silicon Valley, everything is fluid and temporary. There are no employers or employees as such. With no tradition here, we're losing the opportunity to develop a better social structure. People make ridiculous remarks to women and there's no oversight. Silicon Valley is all about getting eyeballs and numbers for your product, money. That structure is never going to support good behavior between those who are the defaults (the white males) and everyone else. It's an environment that's very supportive when it comes to developing new technologies but is otherwise not supportive of anyone but the default. Silicon Valley has always been full of very brash, young experimental crazy thinking people. The role for young men to be mentored by older men who when they go too far just doesn't exist," said Mary Hodder, founder of video site Dabble.
She went on to talk about the difficulty of securing VC funding as a woman: "I think it's fair to say that one of the reasons I had such a hard time getting funding was because I didn't have a business partner. There's no sole woman out there getting funding. Even BlogHer consists of multiple women… It's really difficult for a woman to get funding -- unless you're willing to take your shirt off on TechCrunch. I just don't think we should have to do that."
I listened to it all, and then made a decision. This article would focus on the things that have been achieved, rather than the challenges that still exist. Because the world can say what they will, women are doing some amazing work on the Web, and they're doing this despite a wide variety of difficulties -- raising funds, being hired and promoted, gaining technical experience, and being taken seriously -- that men just do not have to grapple with. They deserve to be acknowledged for their work, and for their courage.
Related Stories: | Topics:Innovation, Ethonomics, dig, Gina Bianchini, Dabble, Dina Kaplan, Anastasia Goodstein, male, comments, sexism, sexist, criticism, Marry Hodder, influential women in web 2.0, Allyson Kapin., United States, Digg Inc., Silicon Valley, Allyson Kapin, Anastasia Goodstein |
Recent Comments | 97 Total
November 12, 2008 at 3:53pm by Erika Schneider
these poor souls surfing digg day-after-day only have one head to think with and it's not above their shoulders. sadly, i have met many of these in my lifetime, and they're not worth anyone's time and energy. if these types were in my phone address book, i would list them as 'do not answer'.
November 12, 2008 at 4:13pm by bubba 1776
@Erika Schneider
HUG ME! :D
November 12, 2008 at 10:31pm by heynonnymoose
@Erika Schneider KNOW YOUR LIMITS!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU
you may be a donut or two from being undoable, but I'd still do ya! ;)
November 12, 2008 at 10:35pm by heynonnymoose
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Women
November 12, 2008 at 10:38pm by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPB_EQly1jI
November 12, 2008 at 10:41pm by heynonnymoose
I have come to see a link between the rise of women, their increasing rights, involvement in politics, and the feminist movement and the increasing stupidity, perversion of culture, and all around degeneracy in the west. These irrational, pseudo-sentient life forms have done naught but sap the life out of intellectual and powerful men over the last hundred years or so, and we men have made the mistake of brainwashing ourselves to believe that these succubi are actual people. Their whole kind are nothing more than tools for procreation, unfit to live without a patron's approval.
Allow me to make my case.
Women are naturally cowards. I myself have met women who have admitted to me that they and their whole kind are born cowards. They are timid creatures whose emotions overpower their logic and rationality, and they are therefore unfit to lead. Their extreme emotions are triggered by slight and unimportant things, and with these worries they hinder the progress of man. Remember the last time your girlfriend got angry at you for that thing that to this day you have no idea what she was talking about? Imagine that ruling a society or a country. Imagine that fight being with another world leader. Imagine an irrational war because of the errancy of women. I'm glad Hillary lost so that America may live a few years longer.
Mankind used to be male dominated, and with good reason. Women knew their place, and men kept them there. Now, let's look at the achievements in this long period of history. We have such political achievements as the republic and the democracy. We then have technological advancements such as irrigation, the hanging gardens, the printing press, electricity, factories, cars, computers, and now even the internet. We also have such historical achievements like the Neolithic Revolution, the American and French revolutions. We have the great thinkers of history, like Socrates, Aristotle, Boethius, Bacon, Marx, Nietzsche, Borh, and, of course, Einstein. Who do you think was the most intelligent person in history, who could change the way you think, whose infinite wisdom puts this person on level with the gods? He was a man, wasn't he? Back when we were a male dominated society, men did not even love women. Most of the great men of history were gay, only having wives for children. Shakespeare was gay, Da Vinci was gay, to name a few. Men can survive without women (for lack of children, granted). Take modern gay people for example. Why do you think they are so happy? With gene science as it is now, we can make humans effectively enough without women soon enough. Jesus Christ.
Now, let's look at more modern times, shall we? In 1920, women gained the right to vote. Coincidentally, we have not had a good president since the nineteenth century. In 1966, we had a cultural revolution. Great and all, but that's when police and the government became the bad guys. Degeneracy ran wild and became commonly accepted as culture. Then, come 1977, the Feminist movement. That was the death knell of the west as it was formerly known. Since these cum dumpsters decided they were people too, the west has become one grand showing of Dumb and Dumber. We now have what has to be the stupidest couple of generations since the Salem witch trials. We no longer have great philosophers; we no longer have great authors. We have become a nation glued to MTV and teenNICK. Remember G4TV? That's pretty much all of America at this point. And for God's sake, just look at our teenagers. What have we done to let our youth become so terribly corrupted and utterly stupid? To quote Chuck Palahniuk, "We are a generation of men raised by women". We have indeed let ourselves be led astray by the foolish little minds of women.
The fact that what I say, by modern standards, is sexist and therefore bad is further proof that we have been brainwashed. Women have convinced us that they have sufficient mental capacity to feel real emotion and can therefore be "hurt" and that we need to protect them. This is a lie.
We have today naught but broken shards of society, the ghost of the greatness that humankind once was.
November 12, 2008 at 10:41pm by heynonnymoose
HOW IT'S DONE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeHUQAnzpF0
November 13, 2008 at 12:36am by Paul Waiting
If your a woman can't distinguish that there might be a difference between how you might be perceived by young business men who, with you, are like-minded regarding the corporate lifestyle, goals, etc / and a bunch of adolescent men (boys) sitting behind their computers, drinking brewskies and munching Cheetos after a hard day at work doing whatever-they-do, then perhaps you don't belong in a position of power. If you can't be the bigger person, turn the other cheek and think that not all men are beer swilling frat boys then I wouldn't want you holding an executive position in my company.
November 13, 2008 at 8:25pm by heynonnymoose
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/No_girls_on_the_internet
NO GIRLS ON TEH INTERNETS!!!!
November 13, 2008 at 8:45pm by Leslie Ptak
The willingness to justify the mean-spirited behavior of the comments is unbelievable. These guys don't pull these sexist and misogynistic thoughts out of the air for the 30 seconds it takes them to type their comments. That's who they are, sexist and misogynistic a@$$*&$@ - they just choose to hide it during their non-internet hours.
If the comments were racist there would be immediate pushback from other commenters. The fact that they comments weren't challenged until Saabira wrote her article (and it took the writing of her article for Digg to take a look at the comments) just proves how deeply ingrained the sexism and misogyny is in the readership of this site.
Stop justifying hate.
November 14, 2008 at 9:03am by Casey Quinlan
Human nature is to fear what we cannot control - male humans demonstrate this pretty clearly in situations like the one outlined above. Reading the comments on the original article, and on Digg, show me that women may have come a long way, baby...but there's still a cohort of guys who haven't managed to crawl out of the cave yet. That a good number of them have to be under 35 says that we've still got work to do in raising boys to recognize that greater physical strength doesn't equate to Web - or world - domination.
November 15, 2008 at 12:56am by heynonnymoose
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will you join my facebook? LULZ!!!!
November 15, 2008 at 2:26am by heynonnymoose
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November 15, 2008 at 2:34am by heynonnymoose
“Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?” she purred.
“No thank you,” I said. “I’m rather tired. You should retire to your box.”
“But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn’t like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama’s bed-desu!”
“Not tonight. You’ll do as you’re told.”
“Why doesn’t master-sama have real girls in his bed?”
“What?!”
“Is master-sama’s penis too small for real girls?”
“Why aren’t you saying desu?”
“Does he have to use dolls instead?”
“SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!”
“Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his penis once.”
“DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS PENIS ONCE DESU!”
“It was too small even for dolls.”
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT SUISEISEKI!”
With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll’s wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad?
The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, god the horizon … it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I’d be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there’d be nowhere in the world I couldn’t go.
Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For fuck’s sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.
November 15, 2008 at 2:35am by heynonnymoose
November 15, 2008 at 2:38am by heynonnymoose
Holy fuck desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu The King of Desu. desu I TOLD YOU IT NEEDED MOAR DESU desu desu desu.
November 15, 2008 at 2:43am by heynonnymoose
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November 15, 2008 at 2:44am by heynonnymoose
Jesus was a dark-skinned Jew from Palestine, who may or may not have lived over two thousand years ago. He was featured as a Mary Sue character in a shitty Jewish slashfic called the Bible, even though all he did was troll on ppl IRL, and eventually got killed for pissing everybody off. He had many fanbois over the years, and was the inspiration for the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and the Holocaust. Jesus is also personally responsible for every sports championship ever. The Myth of Jesus
Coincidentally born in the year 0 A.D. to Mary and, if the rumors are true, God (a paternity test is pending). According to local legend, Jesus (pronounced "Hay-soos") hatched out of a chocolate egg (as all Jews are) in a barn because his step-dad, Joseph, was too cheap to get a room that night for his 9 month pregnant wife. Three guys with incense, gold and embalming fluids followed an alien space ship to Bethlehem, where Jesus was located, because they heard he was the Jew King hatchling, and they were in deep trouble with their taxes.
Little is known of Jesus' childhood, but he was probably pretty stuck up and liked to mess with people's heads given that he was the Son of God. But according to the Infancy Gospel of St Thomas, the young Jesus once killed a boy for beating him in a race and caused an entire village to go blind for not recognizing his divinity.
As an adult, Jesus became something of a New Age guru, and is widely considered to be the first hippie. He taught peace, love, unity, and respect, thereby making him the first Raver also. And he also taught that people should live without many possessions - and the possessions they did have they should be open to sharing them - which also made him the first commie. He had a group of guys called the Apostles who followed him around trying to look cool, but Jesus really thought they were all douchebags.
In 33 AD Jesus became an hero when he pissed the Romans off by BAAAWWWing at them for losing his iPod. The Romans proceeded to nail him to a piece of wood, where he died (lol pwned). Please note that over 9000 other criminals were also nailed to a piece of wood to die, however noone makes a big deal about the crucificatiownage of someone they don't care about. Two hundred eye witnesses to Jesus' crucifiction claim they witnessed Jesus having an erection.
[edit] JEWS DID JESUS!
There were over 9000 Jews present at the RL banning of our lord and savior. Although there is no record of who exactly committed the act of douchery, it is easy to see that along with all the other atrocities in the world's history (including the invention of ZIMA and "The View"), it's the Jews' fault. The motives for this pwnage seem obvious, but over the last few years we have learned about the culture of these Seinfeld worshiping kikes and further evidence points to the fact that these fuckers probably did it simply for lulz. See Also: Mel Gibson
Europeans have never been able to forgive the Jews for unleashing their proselytist Jewish sect upon them, despite all recent efforts of redemption. Where is Your God Now?
Technically all Christians are necrophiliacs
Technically all Christians are necrophiliacs
It is interesting to note that the "king of the Jews" was off hiding somewhere from 1939-1945. COINCIDENCE???
[edit] Jesus Fanfic
The life and times of Jesus were recorded in fanfic form by his four biggest fanboys — Matthew, Mark, Luke and John — shortly after his death. Later, their works were compiled by a basement-dweller nerd named Peter into the "New Testament." Initial sales were stagnant, however, and so after conducting numerous focus groups and hiring many expensive consultants, the title was changed to "Jesus: The Reckoning." Subsequent sales skyrocketed, thereby propelling the publisher — Catholic Church, Inc. — into global prominence.
Today, with Jesus fandom on the wane, "The Reckoning" is typically published as an anthology in conjunction with the so-called "Old Testament." This saves on printing costs, and has served to bolster sales, though one may still need to order the book at Amazon since many bookstores are stopped carrying it.
[edit] How to Pluralize
From the big wig himself!
From the big wig himself!
Incorrect: 'Jesii' ("Hey, Ma! I went to the church and got me a whole lotta them Jessi.")
Correct: 'Jesoi' ("There are fifteen Jesoi in the Bible. By the way, my good man, did you happen to go to that Noam Chomsky lecture the other day? I was too busy translating Etruscan.").
[edit] Jesus Facts
He started the self-injury trend
He started the self-injury trend
Can you see Jesus?
Can you see Jesus?
* Jesus was a CONVICTED CRIMINAL.
* Jesus makes a cameo in the quran but he's not Allah's son and Allah only makes it only look like he was crucified, so what was the fucking point?! apparently he comes back on judgment day to kill the infidels and restore justice.
* Makes celebrity appearances on Bread
* Knows his cunnilingus
* Jesus was meant to return last year in an immaculate conception but was aborted
* Is not allowed within 50 feet of any public school in both New York State and Oregon
* Jesus does not like to be fucked in the wristholes or footholes.
* Jesus says that he was too drunk at the time to remember turning water into wine, but also says he thinks it was actually Jack Daniel's because wine is for pussies.
* Jesus occasionally guest-stars on TV's South Park. Nobody is sure if he's making good on a bet or if he's just hard up for cash.
* Any person living in that area during Jesus' time would have had the skintone of an Arab. Be sure to tell Christians this as the thought of a black Jesus will drive them batshit insane.
* The purpose of Israeli special forces Mossad is to prepare for Jesus' return so that he can be killed again.
* If Jesus is the Messiah, David Koresh is the Lord of the Universe.
* Was a JEW and by de facto did wtc.
* Was responsible for your childhood pet dying and is torturing it as we speak.
[edit] Bel-Air
Now this is a story all about how my
Life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the prince of a town called Bethlehem
In west Jerusalem born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And all converting some Hebrews outside of the school
When a couple of guys they were up to no good
They tried to nail me to a cross of wood.
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said, "You're going on an 26 year absence somewhere”
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said God and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to God's heir!"
I pulled up to the temple about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally used
To sit on my throne as the prince of the Jews.
CHRISTPUNCH!!!!
November 15, 2008 at 2:57am by heynonnymoose
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Child_Porn
November 15, 2008 at 3:02am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jItz-uNjoZA
November 15, 2008 at 3:04am by heynonnymoose
THE FRIDGE PART DEUCE MARK WAS A PROUD CUCUMBER, FULL OF PROSPERITY AND VALOR. HE HAD LIVED HIS LIFE MARRIED WITH MANY HAPPY BROCCOLI CHILDREN GALLOPING AROUND. ONE DAY, HE REALIZED HIS WIFE, CHERRY, WAS MARRIED TO A PRECOCIOUS SNORLAX WITH A JIGGLYPUFF NAME, SO HE SET OFF ON FOOT ON A QUEST FOR ULTIMATE SATISFACTION. HIS FIRST VICTIM WAS AN AMERICAN TALIBAN WITH PUBIC HAIR-HEAD. I BELIEVE HIS NAME WAS RAGHED. AS I POUNCED ON HIM AND THRUSTED MY VITAMIN B DEEP INTO HIS APPLE ASSHOLE, HE SCREAMED VIOLENTLY. NOT WANTING TO COME TOO QUICK, I PULLED OUT AND AIMED MY HARD VEGETABLE COCK DEEP IN KELLEY'S MOUTH. I BEGAN TO HUMP VIOLENTLY, SPRAYING PRE-NUTRIENTS ALL OVER HER EAGER CHIN. AS SHE SCREAMED NO, I RIPPED OFF HER PANTS AND GAWKED AT HER VIRGIN CAULIFLOWER. I WAS PREPARED TO TAKE WHAT WAS MINE, AND DEFLOWER THIS VEGA-FLOWER. AS I RIPPED HER OPEN, I VIOLENTLY SPRAYED MY SEEDS EVERYWHERE; LEAVING HER WITH A DELICIOUS GARDEN, RIPE FOR THE PICKING.
November 15, 2008 at 3:14am by heynonnymoose
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November 15, 2008 at 3:15am by heynonnymoose
http://forum.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?p=3337805
November 15, 2008 at 3:16am by heynonnymoose
1. Paste the code below into the link field of a bookmark
2. Click the link when you're in a thread
3. ????
4. PROFIT!
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November 15, 2008 at 10:36am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZsHW8TsR94
November 15, 2008 at 10:41am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkVYHUMCCwc
November 15, 2008 at 10:48am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7iwLordRVI
November 15, 2008 at 10:50am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7iwLordRVI PEDOBEAR LOL!!!!
November 15, 2008 at 11:01am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc9U8MfWKdc DESU?
November 15, 2008 at 11:17am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZpK-Xnlt4A
November 15, 2008 at 11:22am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwU2vPeRTOQ
November 15, 2008 at 11:23am by heynonnymoose
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONE DAY, ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I WAS HOLDING A MEETING WITH MY COMPANY'S BOARD OF DIRECTORS, EXPLAINING THE IMPORTANCE OF DEDICATION, AND QUALITY IN THE SALE OF OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUITS, WHEN I NOTICED ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD WAS, IN FACT, A STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL BLOND FEMALE, HER BEAUTY MATCHED ONLY BY HER PROFESSIONAL MANNER AND ABSOLUTELY ELEGANT SUIT. THIS COMBINATION OF STIMULI GAVE MY MONOLITHIC CROTCH CANNON NO CHOICE BUT TO AUGMENT AND OBLITERATE MY PANTS. WITHIN MOMENTS MY MY MEMBER HAD DESOLATED THE BOARD ROOM, THE TABLE HAVING BEEN SMASHED UNDER THE SHEER GIRTH OF MY PELVIC PULVERISER, AND THE WOMAN IN QUESTION WAS IMPALED ON ITS GARGANTUAN TIP, HAVING THROWN HERSELF IN ITS APOCALYPTIC PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN AN EFFORT NOT ONLY TO SAVE THE LIVES OF HER COLLEAGUES, BUT TO EXPERIENCE FIRSTHAND THE QUASI-RELIGEOUS EXPERIENCE THAT IS ZIMMER. AS MY TROUSER TRUNCHEON EXPANDED, DEMOLISHING WALLS AND DISPATCHING THE INTERNS WHO ATTEMPTED TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN THROW THEMSELVES AT THE MERCY OF MY THROBBING FLESH MISSLE. MOMENTS LATER MY PHALLUS HAD KNOCKED OUT MANY OF THE BUILDING'S SUPPORT BEAMS AND THE FLOORS OVERHEAD CRASHED DOWN, THE FORCE OF THEIR MOMENTUM CAUSING THE ENTIRE BUILDING ITSELF TO COLLAPSE IN A NIGHTMARISH MANNER NOT UNLIKE A FAMOUS DISASTER FROM A FEW YEARS AGO. RISING FROM THE RUBBLE, WITH THE STUNNING BOARD MEMBER STILL ON THE TIP OF MY GOD-SHLONG CRYING ALOUD FOR MERCY, HER SUIT AS WELL AS MINE UTTERLY RUINED BY THE AFFAIR, AS WELL AS A DOZEN OTHERS STILL CLINGING TO THE SHAFT. I LET OUT A THUNDERING ROAR AND LET SPEW FORTH MY SEED WITH SUCH AWE-INSPIRING FORCE THAT THE LOAD SHATTERED THE SOUND BARRIER, VAPOURIZING MY LUSTY ASSOCIATE, CRUSHING EVERYONE IN SIGHT AND SHATTERING EVERY WINDOW IN A 5-MILE RADIUS. IN THE AFTERMATH, STANDING NAKED AND COVERED IN CEMENT DUST, AND SMILING CONTENTLY AT THE DEMOLISHED, SEMEN-COVERED RUINS BEFORE ME, I SPOTTED A SMALL DOG, STUMBING IN THE DEBRIS, ITS EARS BLEEDING AND GASPING FOR BREATH IN THE HUMID MUSK. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. WITH A LOUD THUD MY ELEPHANTINE MAN-HAMMER HAD CRUSHED THE ANIMAL LIKE A THICK, MEATY FLYSWATTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
November 15, 2008 at 11:24am by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5wq2Neb14E
November 15, 2008 at 2:11pm by heynonnymoose
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house in you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the End". Should a look of child-like fear come over the workers face, you will then be taken to a cell in the building. It will be in a deep hidden section of the building. All you will hear is the sound of someone talking to themselves echo the halls. It is in a language that you will not understand, but your very soul will feel unspeakable fear.
Should the talking stop at any time, STOP and QUICKLY say aloud "I'm just passing through, I wish to talk." If you still hear silence, flee. Leave, do not stop for anything, do not go home, don't stay at an inn, just keep moving, and sleep where your body drops. You will know in the morning if you've escaped.
If the voice in the hall comes back after you utter those words continue on. Upon reaching the cell all you will see is a windowless room with a person in the corner, speaking an unknown language, and cradling something. The person will only respond to one question: "What happens when they all come together?"
The person will then stare into your eyes and answers your question in horrifying detail. Many go mad in that very cell, some disappear soon after the meeting, and a few end their lives. But most do the worst thing and look upon the object in the person's hands. You will want to as well. Be warned, if you do your death will be that of cruelty and unrelenting horror. Your death will be in that room, by that person's hands.
This object is 1 of 538. They must never come together. Never.
November 15, 2008 at 2:16pm by William Malo
Even in this company, a supposedly more sophisticated group of maledom, older, more mature, an elite collection of cosmopolitans, the stench of sexist chauvinism threads throughout these responses -- one even bordering on insanity.
I apologize for the groping ignorance inherent in most of the men of our time. Regardless of their age or education, their approach to the opposite sex is infantile at best, a bestial, crude assimilation from father to son and so on.
It is foolish to believe that there will be any noticeable enlightenment taking place in the near to distant future for this collective -- you will find no pearls among these swine.
November 15, 2008 at 2:23pm by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5ED7HgouuE
November 15, 2008 at 2:28pm by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZBA0SKmQy8
November 15, 2008 at 2:29pm by heynonnymoose
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17zNW-wz35E
November 15, 2008 at 3:20pm by William Malo
You are one sick individual, although your misogyny becomes you.
November 15, 2008 at 5:28pm by heynonnymoose
You see, Bob Barker was in New Jersey with a 42 year old woman. At any rate, Bob and this Jersey broad, told the Jersey broad's teenaged kids to throw pennies at hasidic jews. A cop saw it, and bid on door number one. Bob Barker had him castrated... he now goes by the moniker "High Pitched Eric." The rest is history.