May 7, 2007
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Recently, I got a call from a long-time client who had moved to a new position. There was a project that she wanted to bring me in for. It was right up my alley and I was appreciative. I needed info and in particular, to share with my client how I had revamped my business since we had last worked together including my pricing scheme. Although I made attempts to contact her, leaving detailed voice and email messages, I did not hear back. I began the project.
After the first month passed, I made two more attempts to contact my client to discuss billing. There was no response. So I sent a bill. This time, the response was swift.
Needless to say, there was a conflict. No matter how much I explained how I came to the price and that it was fair and competitive, the client wasn't getting it. Clearly she had expected something different, basing it on how it had been done in the past. It did not matter that past was 2 years and a dollar-per-gallon of gasoline lower. That is what she had budgeted for. Work on the project was stopped. That left the question of my bill.
A couple of weeks passed when I got an email that the bill had been approved. There was another billing question, however, concerning a few hours of work that occurred between the time I sent the bill and the time the project was halted. I attempted to negotiate that fee, thinking it would be more palatable, but got nowhere. The budget had been exceeded and there was no more where that came from.
I felt badly about this outcome on a couple of fronts. First, I thought I should be paid for my work. But I also keenly felt there was a rupture in a relationship that I had valued for a long time and that had contributed to my bottom line. I decided to knock off the second fee. It was small, relatively speaking, and would not affect me in any measurable way. I was not out of pocket. I would write a letter that included this information as well as describe what I thought had gone awry. My goal was to re-build my relationship with my client so we could move forward again. I wanted to consider the long term. Following is the bulk of my letter:
In light of the circumstances concerning billing, and because I value you as a client and friend, I have decided to include the work as part of the work that was covered in the original bill, which has been paid.
I have learned a valuable lesson from this experience. The two times I contacted you to discuss the change in my fees were unsuccessful and I mistakenly interpreted this as indifference. In hindsight, I recognize that you were just extremely busy in the new job and had to prioritize. Ultimately, I should have waited to hear from you, or tried again to reach you before sending the bill.
Shortly thereafter, I received a reply from my client:
I got your note - thanks so much. I have been extremely busy (I just keep forgetting how hard it is to start from the ground and work up!). Anyway, I share some of the fault for not returning your call promptly and I appreciate the accommodation. Thanks again.
To think I came very close to doing nothing. Or sending another bill! Ultimately, communication—especially on sticky issues—works. It's something I'm supposed to know about, but even the expert gets tripped up when it's her own skin.
We are now working on another project and being very open about expectations. She also referred me to someone else for business.
Mission accomplished.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth@ruthsherman.com • www.ruthsherman.com
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April 30, 2007
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Before I started my current career, I was a jingle-singer in New York. My job consisted of going to recording studios and singing commercials and doing voice-overs for advertisers. I sang for Coca-Cola, Ford, Clairol, Hasbro, McDonalds, and hundreds of other top brands. It was the perfect job for me because despite the fact that I had been trained as an opera singer, and thought I would do Broadway, I didn't want to work nights and weekends. Go figure. Jingles and voice-over work, I soon discovered, were recorded during the 5-day workweek and were very lucrative, to boot.
It was a heady time and a lot of fun, but the fun didn't last. Turns out, I entered the business at exactly the time things were beginning to wind down. Until that time, big musical themes for products were the norm and there were always lots of singers on the recording sessions. But fashion and tastes change and advertisers, in an effort to tighten budgets saw this as a good place to cut back. Soon, the work was no longer pouring in and though I had done extremely well, the handwriting was on the wall. I had to find something else to do.
Fortunately, I had the time and the wherewithal to explore other fields. After experimenting in law and much searching of university catalogues -- and my soul -- I settled on communications. I believed that I could parlay all my extensive training and experience into teaching other people to communicate more effectively. After all, I was an expert performer with a trained speaking voice. And what is putting across a song or a jingle anyway but a way to tell a story, to deliver some information, to communicate with an audience.
So here are 10 lessons I learned as a jingle-singer:
1.Self-motivation. Being an independent contractor, which is what all performers are, gave me a real leg up when it came time to make it happen in this new field. No work/no food is a powerful motivator.
2. Cooperate. Whether doing a 3-hour show, a 1-hour cabaret act or a 15-second jingle, there were always a lot of other people who helped make the job a success. Teamwork was and still is essential.
3.Treat clients well. Clients are golden; they are always, always right, even when they're wrong.
4. Early is on time, on time is late. When the client was paying hundreds of dollars per hour for recording studio time, a late arriver cost money and didn't get used again.
5. Be prepared. This is the only currency a performer has. It's the same for entrepreneurs. Do your homework.
6. Don't let people defeat you. The music business is so competitive, there was always someone take you down. There will always be people, who for one reason or another will tell you you're no good. Ignore them or fight them, but don't give them that tremendous power over you.
7. Become a connoisseur. I learned what good, high-quality work looked and sounded like, even when there were no metrics to determine it. This connoisseurship has been an immense help in my current field.
8. Spend wisely. I never knew when the next job, thus the next paycheck was coming so I always saved for that rainy day. Even today with every expenditure, I ask myself how it will help my business or me. I am very careful not to get caught up in the mob mentality of having to own the latest gadget, car or another of today's emblems of success.
9. Work hard. Harder than your competition. I practiced constantly and took voice, acting and dance lessons throughout my career. I still go for advanced training when I need it. Funny how the harder you work, the luckier you get.
10. Listen. If we didn't listen to the instrumentals or other vocals, we came in on the wrong note or at the wrong time. This delayed completion of the job and cost the client money. In any business, listening is the most important and most underused communication skill.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth@ruthsherman.com • www.ruthsherman.com
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April 23, 2007
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My friend, Amy, told me of a recent experience. She had been working in a fairly high-responsibility position for about 5 years at the same company when she started to get strange vibes. It was difficult to put her finger on it because everything was going so well: The company was doing great, its stock price at record highs, everyone was making good money, getting promoted and generally being treated well. The workforce seemed motivated and happy, as did management. Still, something was not right. So, rather than ignore her feelings, Amy decided to put out feelers to get a read on the employment picture.
After a couple of months of looking, Amy had lined up something new and settled into the idea that she'd be leaving the company. She gave her notice and two weeks later she left. The following month, the news broke that the company had been sold. Headquarters were going to be relocated to another city resulting in significant layoffs including her former boss. Top management was out, new management was taking over. Amy was stunned. At the same time, she breathed a sigh of relief as well as marveled at her prescience.
This ability to feel when it's time for a change especially when there seems to be no obvious reason for it is one of the most interesting phenomena of human communication. We tend to know when things are going well or not, even if we haven't been told. Things may look great on the outside, making us question our feelings and assume that we are, perhaps, being paranoid. How do we know? Certainly, it's not some supernatural power that we have or ESP. It's not feminine intuition. In fact, it has more to do with subtle changes that take place on an almost unconscious and therefore, undetectable level. We can, however, become more attuned so that instead of ignoring warning signs, we pay attention. We read the room.
The next time you get a feeling that change is afoot, ask yourself some questions:
• What's different now? (Exactly what is bugging me?)
• Has the behavior of my bosses or anyone else of significance changed, even in a small way?
• What have I been reading in the business or trade press that can provide clues?
• Have I heard anything over the past 6 months to a year that worried me but that I chose to ignore?
• Is there anyone I can approach to discuss this with?
Questions like these help to concretize your feelings and thus give them credence. Most of the time, you'll be able to get some answers (though insiders may be reluctant to share, which is a hint in and of itself). You may not get 100% confirmation, but once you're satisfied it's not paranoia after all, you can take control of your future like Amy did.
By the way, it's a good thing Amy paid attention to her feelings. Once the news got out, there were quite a few suddenly out-of-work people who flooded headhunters with calls. 6 months later, some are still not back to work.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth@ruthsherman.com • www.ruthsherman.com
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April 16, 2007
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Well, not everything else, exactly. But enough so that if you include the first three installments of this series, you'll have a very good idea of just what it takes to deliver professional presentation with polish and panache. (1st installment here, 2nd here and 3rd here). This time, I will continue the discussion of technique, which consists of all the specialized procedures that are required to really put on a show.
One of the biggest issues having to do with technique, and one my clients constantly struggle with is whether to script out a speech and read it to an audience verbatim, to use notes of some type or to memorize. My experience has shown that the most successful, engaging speakers use notes. But they really know their presentation, though it is not completely memorized. They have practiced and/or done the presentation enough times so that they know what's coming next. They may not say it the same way twice, but they do have it down so whatever way the words come out, it works.
Notes don't work well when a presentation is not truly learned. Of course, neither do the other two techniques. Another question surrounding notes has to do with PowerPoint. It's very true that PowerPoint slides can serve as notes, and would seem to be a good choice. But it is quite difficult to produce interesting, effective slides for most business people and my recommendation, therefore, is to stay as far away from PowerPoint as possible. (Go here for my post on PowerPoint.) What we may gain in notes, we give up by risking having the audience's eyes glaze over with slides that are poorly executed.
Notes vary in form ranging from an outline on a sheet of paper to my favorite, large (5 x 8) index cards. I always use notes, 100% of the time, which surprises people. To me, notes do not detract from my effectiveness as a speaker and they provide a great safety net. When I'm speaking, I hold the cards so I can glance down at them if I need a memory jog. I will typically hold them in one hand, which I drop to my side when I don't need them using my other hand to gesture. I often consider them an extension of my hand, so if I'm particularly animated, both hands are in action and note cards just happen to be in one of them. I also put the cards down when I don't need them then grab them again when I need to take a look.
So what about all the speakers who read from prepared scripts? I find them to be almost universally unsuccessful. With very, very few exceptions, a written speech is usually scripted using written sounding language, instead of spoken language, a recipe for disaster. In addition, it keeps the speaker glued to the page, which interferes terribly with their communication with listeners. I have had many occasions to work with speakers working from scripts and using Teleprompters. This, of course, creates the illusion that the speaker is looking at the audience. Again, though, it requires specialty writing by a very skilled speechwriter. It is an art. Still, however, the speaker is left behind a podium.
Which is a very unfortunate place for a speaker to be when the object is to engage his or her audience. Standing behind a podium has a long, sorry history in our business and speech culture. It's a place to plant yourself, to rest your notes or script, an anchor to hold on to. And that's exactly what people do when they get behind a podium. A podium places a barrier between you and your audience. With very few exceptions, it's a good idea to step out from behind a podium. The type of presentation will dictate whether you should take center state or whether standing beside the podium is the appropriate posture to take. Protocol will also dictate behavior. If you are 3rd in a lineup of speaker who are much more powerful (not necessarily as speakers), then some tempering is required. However, if you are the main event, take the stage and own it.
Finally, most presentations need to have some spice, some lighter moments that foster the connection between speaker and audience. The best ways to make this connection are personal stories and self-directed humor. Your audience wants to know that you are like them in some small way, that you are on the same plane, face the same types of problems. So starting now, think about things that have happened to you in your life that you think your audience could relate to. Think about lessons you learned or people you've met along the way who've inspired you. Also think about some of the funnier moments you may have had. The dumb mistakes everyone makes are usually good fodder. Articles that you read or statistics that you can share are wonderful ways to get people perking up. Asking a question or for a show of hands are other possibilities.
One final caveat: If you recall a story, something funny happens or see that article, jot it down immediately. These things are very fleeting and fly out of your mind as quickly as they fly in.
That's about it for presentations. Now you've got to volunteer to speak. It's a remarkable differentiator because most people dread it and would rather get run over by a truck than deliver a presentation. So seek out opportunities to speak. You can't buy this type of advertising.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth@ruthsherman.com • www.ruthsherman.com
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April 9, 2007
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Ok, you've gotten an assignment to deliver that presentation and you're well into the preparation process. You understand that preparation is key (read my 1st installment in this series) and you also understand that stage fright goes with the territory (read about that here).
Today is about technique – nonverbal technique to be precise, how you say what you say. Basically, nonverbal communication give your words meaning because let's face it, standing up there doing a data dump is not necessarily going to engage your audience. I don't care how much they need to know about the Future of Technology as it Pertains to 1st World Economics in the Year 2012.
The job of a business speaker is to inform, engage and entertain, not necessarily in that order. Clients are always worried about that last directive, that if they try too hard to be entertaining, they'll come off as too slick. I have never seen this happen. I have, however, seen audiences in various states of, shall we say, "relaxation." Audience members playing with their hair, reading, thumbing their Blackberrys or, worst of all, nodding off is something to be avoided. So how do you keep people awake and interested? One major way is via careful and deliberate use of nonverbal communication.
Following is a list of the primary nonverbal codes and how to use them so that your message has the very best chance of being heard.
• Voice. The most loaded of the codes, vocal characteristics include tone, expression, volume, rate, pace and accent/dialect issues. The most important of this list is expression. Utilize a wide range of pitch and vary it. A voice that has a lot of variety is the opposite of a monotone, which has, unfortunately, become fashionable in business. Next is rate of speech. A moderate rate, punctuated by appropriate pauses is next most important. Mastering just these two aspects of the voice will infuse your delivery with a level of power and energy that will compensate for other, perhaps weaker skills.
• Hands. Hands and arms should be in almost constant motion. The next time you are having an informal conversation, observe how your hands and others' hands move. That's what should be happening on the platform. Avoid placing hands in pockets, folding arms, or putting them behind your back. Down at your sides is the place they should start. By the way, for some reason, this position feels terrible, but looks good. Also be careful that you don't use a single gesture too much. If you're having difficulty, it's a fine idea to choreograph some moves. Often, that's enough to get you going.
• Body and Movement. Posture should be erect, but not military. Leaning slightly toward your audience is the way to go. When walking to the platform, stride purposefully. Once on stage, movement must be monitored. It's fine to step toward and away from the audience or to move to one or the other side of the screen (if you're using visuals), but any movement should have a meaning. And definitely avoid pacing from side to side (I call this Wimbledon).
• Eyes. It's important to build rapport with your audience by looking at them. If it's a fairly small group (20 or fewer), you should try for contact with each person. In a large group, take in small groups. Aim for 5 seconds per contact. You will succeed at 2 or 3, which is enough. Don't make the mistake of expecting them to look back at you. If they look away, move on and come back to them later.
• Facial Animation. Your face should reflect your feelings. If you have an interesting piece of information, it could be reflected in a raised brow. Smiling certainly has its place. There is a fantastic range of movement in the facial musculature that can communicate a tremendous amount of information.
• Dress and Adornment. This refers to everything you weren't born wearing, all the choices we make in clothing, accessories, hairstyle and makeup. The choices for a presentation range far too widely to cover in this post. However, a good rule is to see what the highly regarded people in your workplace are wearing during their presentations and emulate them. It also doesn't hurt to ask someone in authority.
By the way, not all presentations are done standing. Many are done around a conference table. Everything I mention above applies to the seated presentation. Just because you're sitting down is no excuse to be boring. However, you must read the room. By this, I mean you will generally have to tone down your physicality according to the audience, their mood and even their profession. For example, I am much less expansive and expressive when speaking to investment bankers than advertising professionals. Even then, I monitor things. If I suspect someone is watching my hands move instead of listening to what I am saying, I adjust.
Altogether, these nonverbal codes will make you a much more interesting speaker, more capable of grabbing your audience and holding them until you, not they, are done.
In subsequent posts, more on presentation technique including whether it makes sense to memorize, when to use podiums and lecterns and how to spice up a presentation by using stories, humor and other rhetorical devices.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth (at) ruthsherman (dot) com • www.ruthsherman.com
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April 2, 2007
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This is the second in a series that discusses what it takes to become skilled in the art of presentation. As I touched on last time, landing an assignment to deliver a speech or presentation can shake the confidence of even the most experienced professional. Does it have to be so threatening? Well, sort of and here's why.
There are some aspects of presenting that are inherent and, thus, unavoidable. The first is that in general, it is an individual activity. You and you alone will be standing and speaking before a group. All eyes will be on you. The result of this increased scrutiny is that any error has the potential to be more glaring than in other types of speaking. The stakes (for you) are higher and success or failure more meaningful. You will probably feel intimidated and worry about how you will perform. We call this state of anxiety Stage Fright.
Anyone who has ever been on a stage is familiar with the feeling. Your heart races, perspiration increases, hands tremble, mouth goes dry. Even the most skilled and prepared actors and speakers feel it. It's a natural reaction to a perceived threat and is also known as fight or flight, the survival mechanism that makes us better able to fight off or run away from danger. The powerful chemicals that are instantly released make us stronger, faster and more agile. What is less well known, though, is that fight or flight also makes us quicker witted, better able to think on our feet and make split-second decisions. In a way, it makes us smarter.
The feeling, however, is so unpleasant for most people that they push back against it, ignore it or even chide themselves for having it, which just makes it worse. Skilled speakers know a secret about Stage Fright: It helps make them more animated, more exciting to watch and better at delivering their presentation. So instead of worrying about it, they embrace it.
There is a caveat: Stage Fright works its magic best when you are prepared. Just as someone who is physically fit and experienced would be better able to fight off or flee from danger, so would a presenter who was well-prepared and/or who had experience be much better able to make Stage Fright work positively. The ability to think more quickly on your feet allows you to deal seamlessly with the inevitable things that go wrong in every presentation instead of allowing them to derail you.
Bottom line: Stage fright is your friend. Hard to believe, but true. Its presence simply indicates that you care about your performance. That can't be bad.
Next post, more on presentations including nonverbal communication techniques, whether or not to memorize, podiums and lecterns and how to spice up a presentation by using stories, humor and other devices.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth (at) ruthsherman (dot) com • www.ruthsherman.com
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March 26, 2007
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I cannot think of a better way to increase your status in your job, business or industry than becoming a skilled speaker. Standing (or sometimes sitting) in front of a group and presenting is a daunting prospect for people ranging from corporate beginners to CEOs. There is good reason for this. Most people do not get much, if any, training during their many years of school and few companies provide it to employees as part of their professional development programs. The ones that do don't provide enough.
This means that employees, business owners and even CEOs are left to their own devices because the fact is that somewhere along the road, you will be asked to stand up and deliver a presentation.
So what does it really take to master these essential, professional skills? Because this is such an important topic with so many details, I've decided to write about it in segments. Following is the first installment:
1. Start to prepare the minute you get an assignment to speak or present. Immediately begin to gather information: thoughts, facts, figures, stories, statistics, press reports. Create a file and jot down every thought that pops into your head because these thoughts can pop out just as quickly. You can always edit later.
2. Brainstorm. Try this technique: take a manila (or any color) file folder and open it. Using the smallest size sticky notes, using the information you've already collected, jot down words or short phrases, one thought per note, tear it off the pad and stick it on the inside of the open folder.
3. Organize your thoughts. Start arranging the sticky notes. Main message should be at the top. Place key messages across as the first level and supporting messages below each key message as appropriate. Now, suppose that while you're working on this, your boss walks in or you get called away. Simply close the folder and put it away. When you take it out to work on it again, there everything is just as you left it.
4. Practice. There is no substitute for this. The best speakers set aside time to rehearse. This means saying it out loud, not mouthing it on the plane, train or in the car on the way to the gig. That is way too late.
5. Practice more than you think you have to. I tell my clients to use a ratio of 10:1; for every hour of speaking, practice for 10 hours. Think that's outrageous? I'm being conservative. And the higher the stakes, the more you should practice. But take heart: I consider all work geared toward delivering a presentation to be practice. (You know all those people walking down the street talking to themselves? They're not crazy – they're practicing!). Furthermore, as you gain experience, your practicing will become cumulative and reduce the time necessary to allocate to it.
6. Practice using mirrors, audio/video recorders or in front of a small group of trusted colleagues. Such tools won't always be necessary, but as you gear up toward becoming a fantastic presenter, using them is important because they let you become accustomed to seeing yourself as others see you, a key strategy on the road to improving presentation skills.
That's enough to get started. Next time and in future posts, I'll address stage fright, nonverbal communication techniques, whether or not to memorize, podiums and lecterns and how to spice up a presentation by using stories, humor and other devices.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth (at) ruthsherman (dot) com • www.ruthsherman.com
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March 19, 2007
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I was struck by parts of an article in Sunday's New York Times about the firing of David C. Iglesias, the U.S. Attorney in New Mexico. Iglesias is among several U.S. Attorneys the Department of Justice has fired in recent months and the story has been widely reported. This article had to do with the pressures that were brought to bear on Iglesias by some of his former political patrons including New Mexico Senator Pete Domenici. An excerpt follows:
“Are these going to be filed before November?” the senator asked, referring to charges in the courthouse case, Mr. Iglesias said. “And I said I didn’t think so. And to which he replied, ‘I’m very sorry to hear that.’ And then the line went dead.”
Mr. Iglesias said the message was clear. “I felt leaned on,” he testified to the Senate this month. “I felt pressured to get these matters moving.”
Mr. Domenici has apologized for making the call. “However, at no time in that conversation or any other conversation with Mr. Iglesias did I ever tell him what course of action I thought he should take on any legal matter,” he said in a statement. “I have never pressured him nor threatened him in any way."
Yeah, right.
The fact is that nonverbal communication—how we say what we say—is extraordinarily rich in meaning. It is what makes spoken language differ so profoundly from written language. In writing, the meaning is in the words on the page. We might underline or italicize or use punctuation to emphasize certain words to steer readers toward a particular meaning. When we write, we are (or should be) mindful that others may also read it so other opinions as to the meaning can be garnered.
When we speak, however, we shape our words by assuming a particular tone and style of delivery. We intend to influence perception by using these strategies; sometimes we are successful and sometimes we are not. Furthermore, once the words have left our lips, there is no retrieving them. There is also no record of them (most often) so there is no way to review. And, if they are spoken in private, as in the case of the conversation between Senator Domenici and Mr. Iglesias, no opportunity to get a second opinion. There is no evidence.
Which brings us to the issue of deniability. We have all had the experience of being spoken to in a way that sends a clear message that is not contained in the words alone. Then, when we become confused about or question the meaning of the words, the speaker, who has had time to reconsider, backtracks or flat-out denies that what you heard was what he or she said. Interestingly, deniability does have its place in the communication landscape functioning as a kind of escape hatch. We all say things from time to time we wish we hadn't and being able to deny meaning can serve to prevent many unimportant or passing conflicts from escalating (children are masters of this skill). But it can also function in the other direction and this poses a real danger. For example, if a person consistently makes nonverbal threats but then is able to deny them, trust is eroded and the working relationship (or any relationship) is doomed.
David C. Iglesias said he felt leaned on. Senator Domenici said he never pressured him. Iglesias did not do what he felt Senator Domenici and others wanted him to do on a particular case. Iglesias, who, like all other U.S. Attorneys, serves at the pleasure of the President, was fired.
So who got it right? Iglesias, who said the (nonverbal) message was clear or Domenici, who denied there was any such message. I know whom I believe.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth (at) ruthsherman (dot) com • www.ruthsherman.com
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March 12, 2007
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Yesterday, I noticed a new blog on the New York Times website. Entitled "Across the Universe: A Guide to the Past, Present and Future of the Cosmos," it is written by "three British astronomers." As I began reading it, I took a cursory look at the three authors before moving down the column. I found it fascinating. Here were three scientists who could write in an engaging way, describing the universe, discussing the big bang and other topics usually relegated to astrophysicists. I eagerly anticipated the next post.
After finishing reading, I went back to look at the names of the authors and did a double take. One of the names was Brian May. "Surely," I thought to myself, "not the Brian May, guitarist for the rock group Queen." So I looked at the mini-bios of the writers and sure enough, it was the Brian May, guitarist for the rock group Queen.
Needless to say, I was floored. I have always loved the music of Queen. I actually saw them in concert years ago, when lead singer Freddie Mercury was still alive. They put on a fabulous show with their unique and quintessential style, vocal harmonies and incredible instrumental musicianship. I can tell you that as the holder of an undergraduate degree in music, I have high standards that most contemporary musicians can't even begin to meet.
Anyway, back to Brian May, astronomer. After I got over my shock, I did a little research. Turns out May had begun his doctoral studies on interplanetary dust before Queen hit it big in the 1970s. Certainly, the band's success sidetracked him somewhat, but he never really left it behind having been a regular guest on a monthly BBC program called "The Sky at Night" that has been running for 50 years! (One of the other authors is the host of this program.) May's website contains a regularly updated blog that covers his many interests, contains information on and photos of cosmological events and answers questions from fans. I must tell you, I already had great respect for this musician due to his tremendous talent. Suddenly, though, his star shot up several notches in my book (no pun intended).
So what does any of this have to do with leadership communication? We can go in a number of directions here, but there are two that are most striking to me. The first is how prone we are to label people. It is so easy to filter information through a particular lens and not look more deeply. This narrow typecasting has significant implications:
1. Employers that cannot look beyond a worker's job description and, thus, miss additional talents that worker can bring to the job.
2. Employees that stay within their narrow interpretation of their job and refuse to go beyond to help their companies thrive and grow.
3. Elected officials who become "legends in their own minds" and lose touch with the people they supposedly represent.
4. Voters who base their political choices on which candidate they think it would be more fun to have a beer with.
5. Business owners who lose sight of their customers and begin to take them for granted.
6. Customers who constantly change their business affiliations because they are chasing price, even if the former supplier was doing a great job.
The second striking consequence is has to do with outside interests. We hear a lot in our world today about how all-consuming work is. It seems to occupy more and more of our "down" time as we constantly check our blackberrys and emails so as not to miss the next big idea. (I'm as guilty as the next person of this, by the way, as I sit here on Sunday, writing this post.) We've grown addicted to being in constant touch. But really, how often do these self-imposed tethers actually yield something that would not have been there on Monday morning?
Spending time sinking our teeth into doing something that is not work-related is healthy. It makes us more interesting. It has a freeing effect on our thinking, enabling us to be more creative. This benefits our work and our businesses. By not widening our horizons, we are severely limiting ourselves. Just ask Brian May, whose interest beyond his "day" job is the entire universe.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth (at) ruthsherman (dot) com • www.ruthsherman.com
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March 5, 2007
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Back in December when I first started blogging for Fast Company, I posted an entry on the topic of face-to-face communication and its benefits and advantages (in many cases) over email, txt and IM. Since then, I've noticed some more references to the issue.
One, a New York Times article by Daniel Goleman, a former Times columnist and author of the books "Emotional Intelligence" and the current bestseller, "Social Intelligence," is quite fascinating. Goleman discusses a developing concern among professionals in both the business and psychological realms that the growing preference to communicate electronically has lowered people's inhibitions and not in a good way.
Apparently, when we are communicating by these means, without the benefit of the nonverbal cues afforded by face-to-face communication, we are more likely to flame or "[express thoughts] while sitting alone at the keyboard that would be put more diplomatically — or go unmentioned — face to face." In fact, according to Goleman, there is a technical name for this type of behavior: online disinhibition effect and refers to how we behave with less retraint in cyberspace.
I began to notice and write about this phenomenon a couple of years ago. I noticed it with my kids, who seemed able to be very frank with friends and others in their IM networks. At first, I admired that they could and would say what they really felt. I thought it was refreshing. As a regular cheerleader for authenticity, I could not imagine how this could be a bad thing -- until one of them broke up with a boyfriend online. That was my wake-up call. For the important stuff (and I'm not saying that two 16-year-olds breaking up is that important, but it is practice for the future), face-to-face has tremendous advantages. Goleman writes:
"In face-to-face interaction, the brain reads a continual cascade of emotional signs and social cues, instantaneously using them to guide our next move so that the encounter goes well. Much of this social guidance occurs in circuitry centered on the orbitofrontal cortex, a center for empathy. This cortex uses that social scan to help make sure that what we do next will keep the interaction on track."
And empathy is key. In my speeches, I identify it as one of three critical communication skills (the other two are apology and courtesy). When we are alone, typing, there is an absence of information that we naturally respond to when we are in another's presence. We hit send before we think better of it. This creates problems. I see it with my clients all the time and I experienced it myself in a recent email exchange with a person who was ticking me off (see my FC blog entry on that topic here).
The other mention about the impact of face-to-face was also in the New York Times. This article discussed the importance of geography for conducting certain types of business, particularly the technology business. If, for example, you want to develop the next, great technological innovation, you would do best to either live in or around Silicon Valley or the Route 128 corridor near Boston. (Tip: Silicon Valley is the better bet, so far.) According to the article:
" 'Face-to-face is still very important for exchange of ideas, and nowhere is this exchange more valuable than in Silicon Valley,' says Paul M. Romer, a professor in the Graduate School of Business at Stanford who is known for studying the economics of ideas."
I have always thought that meeting people in person was the best way to build a relationship, sustain one and, certainly, fix one that may be broken. In my last post on the topic, I was having second thoughts about having taken such a hard line. I was trying to keep an open mind. But as the great publisher Arther Ochs Sulzberger (okay, okay, of The New York Times) said, "I believe in having an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."
So I'm taking a stand and drawing a line in the sand. Written communication will never take the place of face-to-face. Nope, never.
Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC • Greenwich, CT • ruth@ruthsherman.com • www.ruthsherman.com
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