They don't teach this in management school, but learning how to build and maintain friendships in the workplace is a skill that can take you a long way in your career.
Just ask the founders of Google and Yahoo! But then again, when friends 'break-up' at work, whether it's a legal partnership, two chefs at a bistro, or heads of a public company such as Disney, it can cause a permanent rift in the relationship. The truth is it's risky to work with friends.
Yet it turns out that working with friends - or befriending co-workers - can enhance your job performance. Nearly two-thirds of employees believe that office productivity improves when co-workers are friendly outside of the office, according to a recent study by Accountemps, a staffing company for financial services professionals.
For many of us, friends are magnets that lure us to a new job and the ties that bind us when we might otherwise break away. Yet balancing the chemistry of friendships on and off the job is often a bit of an ordeal.
"Usually it is friends who take things personally," says Juliana Gidwani, marketing manager at neoIT, a consultancy in San Ramon, Ca. "It's harder for a friend to rationalize business decisions." Gidwani concedes that it's easier to be friendly with co-workers - rather than to become close friends with them.
"It's fun to work with friends, but it's even more fun to start work at a new job and become friends with my co-workers," says John Eckhouse, Editorial Director of Modern Media, a conferencing and branding company in Oakland, Ca. "Good friendships created at work often outlast the job."
In Eckhouse's case, his boss is also a long-time friend and co-worker. "When you disagree on strategy or tactics or who to hire or who to layoff - it can strain the friendship," says Eckhouse. He jokes that it would be tougher if his boss was also his spouse.
Just how easy is it to blow up a friendship at work? I've experienced it before, but then I didn't have the benefit of reading James Mitchell's practical work-friendship rules, which he sets forth in a post called "How to Prevent WWIII While Working With Friends." Do not, advises Mitchell:
Do you want to work with your friends or simply make new friends on the job? Despite the possible negative outcomes, if you work with friends, there's usually someone who will join you for lunch.
Rusty Weston, My Global Career • San Francisco, Ca • rusty@myglobalcareer.com • http://www.myglobalcareer.com/
Related Stories: | Topics:Careers, Friendships, Culture and Lifestyle, Relationships, John Eckhouse, Jobs and Labor |
Recent Comments | 1 Total
July 18, 2007 at 5:46am by Dr. Danny McGuigan
"What's the point of going to work if you don't have friends there."
So said one of my participants at a recent workshop on "friendship at work" which I ran for senior executives at a networking seminar in Newcastle in the UK.
The benefits of friendship at work are sigificant. There is a lot of research, including my own, to demonstrate that my state of health as well as my performance improve as I experience friendships at work.
Friendship, whether at work or in my private life, also challenges me because I have tough choices to make if the relationship isn't going well, for any reason. Then, what one American researcher calls "emotional aggravation" sets in and I need to manage that or get out of the relationship. If I don't manage it or get out, some quite destructive outcomes can unfold.
For this reason and many others, there are leaders and managers in the UK who believe that friendship is not a good idea in the workplace. They prefer a careful distance in relationships at work.
Friendship challenges us to show that we know how to deal with the difficult emotional challenges that arise when relationships hit rocky times, as they sometimes do.
Where do we learn such skills?