Organizational Party Manners

Remember your mother’s advice not to talk about politics, sex, or religion at parties? Good advice for your social agenda, even better in your role as executive.

In the last few years, I have noticed the pervasive tendency of some people to weave their views into ordinary conversations. As if they were unable to control their mouths, they begin innocuous sentences in menacing ways: “Inasmuch as I disagree with the president’s economic package, would you mind passing the Sweet N’ Low?”

The workplace is not the place for this, but I’m not sure where the place is. In 2000 my former boss’s daughter, who also worked for the company, told me to vote for Al Gore because he would support same-sex marriage. This same woman made disparaging comments at the holiday party about the choice of food: “You gentiles and your ham!” Apparently she didn’t embrace the edict about the off limits subjects but was able to offend on several levels!

Observing good party manners isn’t just good etiquette; it’s good business. A few years ago I worked with a publicly traded company whose CEO wanted to make “honoring God” part of the company’s performance appraisal. One of the high potentials, whom I was coaching, confided that he was an agnostic and didn’t feel comfortable supplying information that proved he honored a god he didn’t believe in. This man left the company over this issue. Are you doing something that may tempt your top talent to go elsewhere?

As a senior leader, one of your main responsibilities is to attract and retain the best and brightest. To do this, you need to ensure that they have a place to work that allows them to feel comfortable. You can start by modeling appropriate behavior yourself; you can follow up by creating a culture that respects talented people, even when their opinions don’t match each other’s or yours.