I recently received a call from a former coaching client.He had been on a path that we
had worked hard to craft and help him achieve, so that he might maximize his corporate opportunities.
He called to tell me that, despite the economy, he had opted to take one of the many “packages” now available in corporate America, and start his own business.It was “time,” he said, indicating that the corporate environment had become too stifling, despite the gains he had made in his career. What did I think of his move? I encouraged him, despite the harsh realities of today’s marketplace. I told him, “This is a time when great opportunities will emerge. Find one that aligns with your passion, go for it and you will have great success.”
If you accept the proposition that “today is the first day of the rest of your life,” why wouldn’t you be moving toward making your desired career a reality?
Opportunity Knocking?
“You’re good at…The pay is good.You have your family’s security to think of.”As coachee, or coach, this statement may be truth or a “limiting belief.”If the latter, and despite a tough economy, it can undermine the coaching process.Statistics still show that up to 70% of Americans are in the wrong jobs.Now, when there are great challenges there are also great opportunities. There’s never been a better time to discover and find your bliss and follow it.
When Coaching Crosses Over and Prescribes
There is a struggle among coaches and within the notion of coaching, itself, over the issue of “prescription.” Just how much prescription/direction is the coach supposed to provide the client? Is any suggestion a “leading of the witness?” It is not an easily resolved issue. And I struggle with it, as well. That’s why, for the most part, I tell my clients I provide a bridge between coaching and mentoring.
I make the distinction because I liken the coaching process to a methodology for “squeezing the sponge,” that is, getting the best from an individual through a process that brings more of his/her essence to the surface. Mentoring, on the other hand, presumes greater knowledge and/or experience in the mentor. I believe that at different times and for different needs, both are needed, but not necessarily together.
Most of the experienced coaches I know share this concern. They want to be true to the process, honor the profession, as it were, but first and foremost, be helpful to the client. When you think of coaching, do you think being “prescriptive” goes too far?
Recently, I read a blog post by uber-blogger, Chris
Brogan.He made some great points on
how to navigate that difficult minefield, “the first meeting at an event.”After reading it, though, I thought, I’d
give my coaching clients more.Here’s
what more looks like.Think it’s
enough?
1) Before you go to an event set a goal to meet some new
people just to meet them – you never know where that will lead – and because
your only goal is connecting, it’s good practice for a more targeted
connecting.
2) Set a second goal to meet the top 2-3 people who might become business for
you, for someone you know or become a resource for someone you want to help;
3) Contact people you know who will be going to the event and ask them who they
think might be the best bets for your two sets of goals. Ask them to make an
initial introduction, or at least point them out when you get there. With many
events now you can check the on-line registration and do some research yourself
using individual’s website links.
4) When you arrive, stop at the rest room and look in the mirror. Look yourself
straight in the eye and tell yourself that the event is about making good
connections, not closing a sale. People want to do business with people they
like. Until they know you, they can’t like you. Remember the 3 V’s of marketing
– visibility (they gotta’ know you’re there), viability (there has to be WIIFM*
for everyone in each interaction/transaction, valu-ability (value comes from trusting
and being able to risk with someone else. Become valuable and there are no
limits). *What's In It For ME.
5) Break the room into quadrants. Identify one person,
or more, in each to at least meet and greet.
6) You won’t always get it right and you won’t always connect. Mistakes happen.
Beating yourself up about them is a waste of time and energy. Besides, you
can’t know the frame of mind of every person you meet. If you meet someone who
(unbeknownst to you) has just lost a job or a significant other, or a pet, or
had some other calamity impact their life – but they had to be at the event –
you may get a cool reception or a rebuff. It’s not about you. Get over it.
7) “Businesses,” as Chris said, “are made up of people.” Just like
relationships. We all want to be recognized and appreciated – before we do
business.
9) Always follow up and acknowledge the meeting with a personal note
(electronic or snail) that’s really personal. People can usually tell the
difference if it’s an autoresponder.
10) Social networking, in-person or online, is a lot like good PR. It starts
with initial visibility then sometimes a hiatus occurs before something else
happens. But each contact takes on a life of its own, so keep connecting and
building relationships. You never know when the phone will ring.
Everyone agrees coaching is about helping you perform better – whether it’s on the job, at home or on a playing field. You bring the talent, intellect and desire. The coach brings a process for focusing and releasing them. We all know this; it’s the mechanical notion of coaching. Underlying all performance improvement, though, is the notion of whether or not you feel whatever success you achieve is OK.
Growing up, no matter how well I did in school, it wasn’t OK. My family always expected more, so I was never really OK. This happens to too many kids, and it continues to happen to too many of us when we become adults. No performance is ever good enough, never OK. And while many of us give ourselves permission to be superficially successful, at a deeper level we know we may be good, but we’re not OK.
Coaches struggle with the OK factor. Is it part of coaching to deal with it? (some will, and have, argued it isn’t) Is the OK Factor the realm of the therapist? Has my life experience, my training, prepared me for helping my clients deal with their OK factors or should I restrict my efforts to their performance behaviors?
Because I mentor and consult, my lines are even blurrier. And I am aware that all my courses in Psychology and my studies since grad school still haven’t given me all the answers. My friends who are licensed therapists don’t think they have all the answers, either. So, I don’t know there is any one right way to approach the OK Factor, but I do know that helping someone become stronger with themselves gives them better tools for fighting their demons.
I've been executive coach and mentor to some high powered
entrepreneurs and executives over the years. And today, more than ever, they fear becoming invisible if they change positions or sell out.
In my succession blog, www.TheSuccessionPlanner.com, my
recent post http://cli.gs/WNMBsZ spoke of the owners' fear of irrelevance, of
invisibility after the sale. So much of themselves is tied up in the business that it is hard for them to imagine themselves separate and apart.
I have found similar dynamics among the high performing senior executives I've worked with. For them, being over 50 can lead to an irrational fear of becoming a non-entity. And changing jobs, can be looked at as a terrifying prospect where, despite years of high performance, s/he will be thrown into a wilderness where success is a thing of the past, where the salaries of today are a distant memory and where nobody remembers your name, what you've accomplished and wants to relegate you to the scrap heap.
While there is a kernel of truth in this fear, it is just that, merely a kernel. America still produces more business formations than any other nation, still leads the world in innovation and is still able to resist calls for a world currency - the dollar is still the standard.
Opportunities still exist. What is often in question is the desire/willingness/self-confidence in the executive to "do it again. Where there is opportunity, there is also choice. What usually saves my clients is their ability, sooner or later in the coaching/mentoring process, to look over the trees, breathe the fresh air and see the choices that exist.
A friend, age 63, was recently laid off. He called for advice and we scoped out several opportunities. He planned to take a month off to consider what opportunities to pursue. We looked over the trees and he knew it would be OK. What momentary fear had grasped him, dissipated.
Another friend/client, age 62, was recently laid off, as well. He called. I've been advising him on the purchase of a franchise/dealership. He, too, shook off his initial fears and is back in his game. But both friends have not become irrelevant; have not become invisible. They have morphed into today. FDR once said, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." It was true in the depths of the Great Depression in 1933. It's true today. And that's relevant.
Coaching a group rather than
an individual has its own problems and opportunities.Even in the same organization, you (as coach)
can not assume everyone is on the same page or wants the same outcomes, even if
they say they do.Moreover, as a coach,
your job is not to consult, advise[1] or
mentor; your job is to help your clients unlock their potential and move up, move
over and/or, move out.
Overall challenges:The best job security is incumbency; you
don’t get re-elected (or get great Committee assignments) if you don’t play
well with others (other Members, your Conference, your Party, the electorate);
the “wants” of your electorate, party and contributors may not be congruent;
quid pro quo is often morally and politically challenging; two-year terms do
not allow those offended by your actions much time to forget; and, running for
re-election is an all-the-time thing.
Overall opportunities:
Incumbency has inherent powers to help you focus; your party wants you to be
re-elected (safe seats are cherished party treasures);the power of your vote is often greater than
you think; your staff is a great asset; raising money to get re-elected is
usually easier than raising money to get elected in the first place; as a MC,
you can have a significant impact on our society.
Questions:
Do you believe 2009 is a time for extraordinary
thinking and action, or just another recessionary year, albeit a serious
one, in your life?
If something IS different today, how can you
re-think acting as a group to rise (above partisan politics) to the
occasion (of our national troubles), preserve your political pedigrees and
offend the fewest possible voters while still setting the stage for consensus?
And, if you can agree that some things REALLY ARE
DIFFERENT, is this also an opportunity to change the Washington game in a positive way?
What “sacred cows” are unassailable, and why?
What real game changes can your group of 435
mutually agree on, or at least get a sustainable majority vote for?
With virtually every “local funding initiative”
now being labeled as “pork” by someone, how can you serve your districts
while giving minimal ammunition to potential opponents (and members of the
radical wings of your respective parties) in the next election?
If your group of 435 reaches a majority, or
miraculously consensus, on some of these key issues that you all agree are
the “right things to do,” but represent unpopular decisions, are you ready
to sacrifice (or at least risk) your career for the greater good of the
country?
If you think these notions are too ambitious, or
the group doesn’t want to explore options that extensively, how can you
appear “better,” or at least less offensive, than the previous Congress
and/or specific Members of Congress?
How do you think the country would react to
Congress having a coach and, if that would be a positive, should we
promote the fact as a harbinger of changes to come?
Can we work on that?
[1] In all fairness, I have to disclose that form 1970
until 1976 (and briefly in 1992), I was a media consultant, what is now called
a “political strategist,” and worked more than 40 races with 20+ wins.I worked for both Republicans and Democrats
(back then you could do that) and like to think I gave my clients their best
shot at being elected.
Coaches help their clients "move." Move to perform better, move up to new responsibilities or a bigger job. Seldom (except for entrepreneurial succession) has moving on been a key part of the agenda. Today, however, helping clients accept moving on as their best, and perhaps only, alternative, and helping the client make it happen is challenging coaches in new and creative ways.
It's new territory for the client, as well. The person you have been relying on in a traditional coaching relationship to help you achieve more, fit in better, negotiate the transition to greater responsibility may, or may not, be the right person to help navigate the treacherous waters of career change.
For the CLIENT
When moving on, understanding the importance of who and what come next are critical. You should be aware:
if your company provides outplacement, the consultant may replace your coach and will have skills targeted to helping accelerate your transition, although they will not have the knowledge of your strengths and problem areas that your coach has built up over time;
if you continue working with your coach, you will probably have to renegotiate your goals and accountabilities;
your full-time job becomes getting a new job and part of that job is mustering your best resources into the effort;and,
in the emerging social fabric, your "network" and the proliferation of social networking opportunities and online job boards, makes it essential to keep your options open. Develop your social networks before there is ever a question of job transition.
For the COACH When working with a client in career transition:
Helping a client recognize that moving on may need to be considered as a posibility sooner, rather than later, can be key in helping them prepare for possible layoffs, retirement or other job changes;
determine early if you, or someone else, can best help the client through the transition. The sometimes used strategy of staying one or two chapters ahead seldom does service to you or to them in this scenario;
if coaching through the process, remember assaults to the client's self esteem go along with moving on, (for example, the client's replacement may be younger, better educated, and/or even better looking). The decision to terminate may have been largely political, rather than performance based; and,
employment in a similar situation, or at current salary levels may not be possible while benefits and retirment funds may have shrunken dramatically.
For both the coach and client, career transitions present an opportinity for movement. Finding the right balance of skills and insight is crucial in getting results.
Coaches help their clients "move." Move to perform better, move up to new responsibilities or a bigger job. Seldom (except for entrepreneurial succession) has moving on been a key part of the agenda. Today, however, helping clients accept moving on as their best, and perhaps only, alternative, and helping the client make it happen is challenging coaches in new and creative ways.
It's new territory for the client, as well. The person you have been relying on in a traditional coaching relationship to help you achieve more, fit in better, negotiate the transition to greater responsibility may, or may not, be the right person to help navigate the treacherous waters of career change.
For the CLIENT
When moving on, understanding the importance of who and what come next are critical. You should be aware:
if your company provides outplacement, the consultant may replace your coach and will have skills targeted to helping accelerate your transition, although they will not have the knowledge of your strengths and problem areas that your coach has built up over time;
if you continue working with your coach, you will probably have to renegotiate your goals and accountabilities;
your full-time job becomes getting a new job and part of that job is mustering your best resources into the effort;and,
in the emerging social fabric, your "network" and the proliferation of social networking opportunities and online job boards, makes it essential to keep your options open. Develop your social networks before there is ever a question of job transition.
For the COACH When working with a client in career transition:
Helping a client recognize that moving on may need to be considered as a posibility sooner, rather than later, can be key in helping them prepare for possible layoffs, retirement or other job changes;
determine early if you, or someone else, can best help the client through the transition. The sometimes used strategy of staying one or two chapters ahead seldom does service to you or to them in this scenario;
if coaching through the process, remember assaults to the client's self esteem go along with moving on, (for example, the client's replacement may be younger, better educated, and/or even better looking). The decision to terminate may have been largely political, rather than performance based; and,
employment in a similar situation, or at current salary levels may not be possible while benefits and retirment funds may have shrunken dramatically.
For both the coach and client, career transitions present an opportinity for movement. Finding the right balance of skills and insight is crucial in getting results.
Any executive coach will tell you the importance of both making a great first impression, and on the value in reinforcing that impression again and again. In times when there are oodles more candidates than jobs, being appealing and consistent, tends to pay off - Big Time - whether you want to be promoted, to keep a job or to find one. Here are the seven "Best Face Tips" I use with my coaching clients.
1. Do What You Love for the rest of your life. Next, Counts (tm)! You will never get any younger. You can not change the past. Some choices you have made will linger and may haunt you, but as life is choice, what you do next is totally up to you. If you are living the life you were told to live and not the life you want. Change. Make choices consistent with who you want to be, how you want to project and what you want for your future.
2. You create your own sustainable identity, or brand, on a daily basis. Employers, clients, co-workers, reports, friends, lovers - virtually everybody tends to hate surprises. People find comfort in consistency. Once you make your life choices and create an image, a reputation, you have to live up (or down) to it. If you find that the identity you have created does not fit well anymore, see numbers 6 & 7 below. Be aware/recognize that you may meet some reistance from those you care for and work with.
3. It's on the record. Be mindful when you speak, write, appear in public, pose for a picture, or do any interaction. Before acting, ask yourself, "Am I being the person I want to projet?"
4. There are good actors and bad. A good actor gets lost in his/her part, becomes transparent - genuine - so that we audience members can better enjoy the production. A bad actor shouts his presence to the world. We can't be what we're not - we will eventually be found out.
5. It's an old saying, but never more true, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." One of my Image colleagues dresses up to go to the supermarket. She says she is always treated "royally."
6. As you choose who you will become, as you build your brand, take a lesson from water. It tends to flow (and spread) naturally. If you feel a natural flow, go with it. Far too many of us have chased lives we never wanted to live and end up supporting lifestyles we have come to hate. Chasing opportunities that do not resonate with your values, talents and inclinations leads to stress - and stress kills.
7. From time to time, Re-think, Re-set and Re-invent. The career gurus tell us the average person will have 10 jobs during their career.
We Boomers, as a group, have given too little thought to what comes next in our lives. And many of us have operated like we'd be able to go on forever. As a coach and consultant to my fellow Boomers, I deal with this mentality regularly. Recently, I was interviewed on the Coaching Show. They asked some very good questions about letting go, moving on and how being a Boomer is still pretty special. The interview is online and you can listen in by going to: http://wsradio.edgeboss.net/download/wsradio/bizcoach/012809/segment1012809.mp3
