"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention." -- Tom Peters
One of my clients, a successful 40 year veteran in the insurance business, is a master at using confusion to his advantage. 75% of what comes out of his mouth are questions trying to clarify something. It's like watching an episode of Columbo. Recently we chatted about his style and he explained it this way. "I definitely ask a lot questions to get people to open up, but it's more than that. I geninuely don't know the answers to most of the questions I ask. I think too many people pretend they know things that they don't - because they don't want to look foolish. What they often fail to realize is that they're killing opportunites to learn in the process.
Consider This:
Contrary to popular belief, confusion isn't a bad thing. In fact, confusion can be a very good thing. It shows the gaps in your understanding. Don't shy away from it. Get inquisitive. Ask questions. Use it to get smarter. Furthermore, realize that if you're confused, it's likely that others are as well. And sometimes sharing your confusion is an effective way to open powerful and productive conversations.
Try This:
1. The next time you feel perplexed about a situation, share it with someone.
2. Ask for their thoughts (people loved to be asked for their opinion).
3. Listen closely for something you might be missing.
4. Repeat frequently - there's no use doing all the thinking yourself - it takes too long and you only get one opinion.
Question: Have you every used confusion to your advantage? If so how?
Related Stories: | Topics:Leadership, 9, P, T |
Email
Digg
StumbleUpon
Facebook
Buzz Up!
LinkedIn
Recent Comments | 5 Total
November 8, 2005 at 2:04pm by Emma
That has actually worked for me. You not only build a new relationship but you discover a new resource. You in turn have the potential to be the recipient's resource should they be confused about something.
November 8, 2005 at 5:04pm by roger fulton
I do this sometimes, but its only fun when I actually imitate Columbo while doing it. I've got the old raincoat and cigar that goea with it.
I get my best ideas that way.
Roger Fulton
Yuma, Az
http://spaces.msn.com/members/rogerroost/
November 14, 2005 at 12:24am by Ganesh Ram
I have often been accused (by consultant colleagues) or appreciated (by customers) of asking many questions. Yes, people generally seem to be inhibited in asking questions when they do not understand something. They wish to avoid asking "stupid" queries. My advice is, "If it occurred to you and you do not know the answer, there is nothing stupid about the query. Not raising it could turn out to be a stupid act!"
Further, questions frequently lead to innovation. A rephrased question itself might provide clues to new answers.
Finally, asking questions is an art. For left-brained problem situations we need to be more specific and pointed while creative situations benefit from open-ended questions that do not bias our thinking toward a particular approach.
November 16, 2005 at 6:57am by Jaya
I strongly beleive in putting forth what you have not understood. Confusion can actually lead you to ask questions to the speaker, which he/she might not have answers to. It allows you to think more and explore the more angles of a situation or a process. I have learnt a lot while asking many questions, and at the end realised that there were many who had the same thought in mind but never came up to ask. It is foolishness to consider ourselves as understanding a subject when we actually don't, as it is one of the main barriers in the learning process. When I am a part of new audience, I feel foreign in the room, still I muster up some courage to ask questions and that had actually become an Ice breaker - people contribute more ideas, try to explain with their personal experiences, case studies etc.. it gives a better picture of the subject and also now you knw the audience well. You are no more a foreigner in the room.
My simple advise - Do not hestitate to question what you don't understand, there are many advantages associated with it apart from learning the subject better.
January 18, 2008 at 1:23am by Bill Joeson
You should be smart enough to know everything. If you're confused, keep your mouth shut. You slow down the rest of us.