Being a single Gen-Yer with no concept of work/life balance,I go out to eat alone pretty often. It wasn’t until I started traveling forwork a few years ago that I first battled that awkward “table for one” feeling.I had issues because I didn’t know how to act when I was seated by myself. Notlike there’s a protocol, but I hadn’t really learned the tricks of the trade. Ididn’t even like sitting by myself in the cafeteria in school.
Sure, I could take away some of that anxiety by sitting atthe bar. People are always talking to you there, and it’s practically thebartender’s job to make you happy. And yet I didn’t actually like this optionany better. So here are some tricks of the trade that I’ve learned to make lifea little easier when flying solo.
1.Bringsomething to make it look like you’re busy. I say “look like” because manytimes, what you originally thought would keep you busy isn’t really going towork. For example, if you’re lugging your laptop around with you, unless it’s ahotel restaurant, you may not be able to connect to the internet. That goodidea of catching up on Family Guy on Hulu.com kind of went out the window. Some goodideas include:
·Reading Material. Because reading makes you looksmart, in addition to being busy. Little lesson: a lot easier to read somethingthat lays flat (like a magazine or Kindle),than a 300-page romance…and do you really want to bring a romance for everyoneto see? If you’re looking to pick up the intellectual type, bring anintellectual book/newspaper/magazine.
·Laptop. Even if you can’t get internet, youcould play some games. Everyone loves solitaire. Or you could be like me andget some blogging done while you wait for food. If you dine on your ownfrequently, you may want to download some entertainment (you can get PDFs ofbooks from Gutenburg.com)and be prepared.
·Phone. This can be a life-saver if you don’thave time to prepare. You can text, tweet, email, blog, facebook, plus more onmost phones. And there’s always that calling people thing, but some restaurantsdon’t allow it, so be careful.
2.Sit whereyou feel comfortable. If you don’t like random guys picking you up, thendon’t sit at the bar. Just save yourself the misery. The same goes for guys,but I usually get the impression they don’t mind when girls try to pick themup. If I’m not feeling super social, I’m a big fan of getting a table in thedining room. Many servers even spend a little extra time on you, making sureyou’re doing great while you’re on your own.
3.Go to theplaces with the mood you want. Sushi bars give you that nice calmatmosphere, and you even get to watch the sushi chefs rock the knives. Ahibachi grill allows you to join a large group at the grill and become part ofthe party. After-work hotspots let you mix and mingle. Sports bars give you achance to yell at the tv with the best of them, and martini bars allow for asophisticated crowd. If you’re craving that Oriental Chicken Wrap from Applebee’s, go with it and follow rules 1and 2.
4.Makefriends. If you are into talking to strangers, this is a great time to makefriends. I was once stuck in Newarkairport with a broken flipflop and a bag filled with a broken bottle ofwine. I didn’t care about anything other than a beer at that point. And youknow what? The engineers on their way to Houston thought I had a funny (butsad) tale and bought my beer for me. We had a great time while I waited for myflight, and I personally think they’re the reason I didn’t have a meltdown inthe airport.
5.Peoplewatch. It’s the best thing ever. You can even disguise it with rule 1. Thebest is when it’s nice outside and you can sit on the restaurant patio. There’sall the people walking up and down the street, and well, it’s practically ashow. I’ll leave the judging up to you, but it can be pretty entertaining.
So now you know some of the ropes. Whether you’re starvingafter a late night in the office, stuck in an airport, or just following thatcraving, you don’t have to fear flying solo anymore.
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do notnecessarily reflect those of my employer.
Right now is a crazy time. People are losing their jobs,taking pay cuts, or going part-time. There are those who may still have a job,but it feels like they’re actually doing two jobs…or three. And the pay is thesame or less.
That’s usually the rub.
You may workhard for the money, but there just isn’t a lot to go around right now.Especially if you are a Gen-Yer. You don’t have twenty years of experience onyour side. There are two ways to look at this…you are worth way more than thisor you can use this for career development.
You are Worth WayMore Than This
You might be. You might be the best thing to ever happen toyour team. But right now, you can’t think that way. That’s not to sayconfidence isn’t key, but cockiness isn’t going to work. This is the same forthose who are employed and those looking for a job. It won’t work in your favorto talk to someone in HR who had to lay off four people that day, and youarrive on your high horse. There’s a time and place for salary negotiation. Comeup with a plan. Your organization may be able to do outlines as part of yourpackage or current agreement as to when future salary adjustments could bemade, pending the success of the company. Cover your assets, but also beflexible in understanding how the economy is affecting salaries.
You Can Use This forCareer Development
This is probably your best bet. Trust me, I know it sucks towork hard, be underpaid, and feel like “career development” is full of crap.You may already be waitressing on the weekends to pay the bills, or you may noteven be salaried. You may not have helicopter parents to fall back on, and youmay be the queenof coupon clipping. But just like self-affirmation, lookin the mirror (or the computer monitor reflection) and tell yourself it willwork out in the end. Do this until you no longer grit your teeth.
If you know that thefinancial package isn’t ideal, use negotiating power to gain newresponsibilities or roles on special teams. If you are able (capable, boss iswilling to let you, etc.) to take on new work, you’ll learn a lot. There arenew people from whom you’ll learn a lot, there will be new challenges to yourday, and you’ll go home exhausted with a load of work every night. It’ll befun!
Seriously, there’s a lot to be said for taking on new work.At a time like this, groups will be happy to take an extra set of hands or newbrain for projects. As long as you continue to complete your own work, thevariety could also spice up your life. And your resume. Every time youvolunteer (or are asked) to take on something new, write it down. By the timethings turn around, you could have quite a laundry list of pretty neat thingsthat begin to look impressive.
And then it won’t take you so long to stop gritting yourteeth in the mirror.
The views expressed in my blogare my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
While I have never sexted, I havegotten the messages before and literally, not known what to do. I was utterly shockedonce, and then another time I burst out laughing. I assume a guy would not respondwell to the laughing.
You are probably gathering nowthat this has happened to me more than once. The most recent occurrence happeneda couple months ago. A guy from a blind date the next morning decided to sendme a picture of himself. Himself himself. And there handn’t been so much as agoodnight kiss before!
Right now, this is an issuereported as coming from teens…mini-Gen-Yers? But I know the practice is takingplace across the ranks. Is sexting similar to the use of anonymity online? Doesit feel safer?
Perhaps. As a teen, I know thatthere are a lot of mixed messages out there, and I know confidence is low. Ateen may turn to sexting as a way to get over the awkward initial stages ofsharing yourself with someone…physically and emotionally.
But why do adults sext? Accordingto Fox News, “A high school teacher in Murfreesboro hasbeen added to the state sex offender registry after pleading guilty to sendingsexual messages to two female students.”
Really?Not only is a grown man sexting, but he’s a teacher sexting to his students?You can’t even say, “Don’t stand soclose to me” anymore. You get caught in a scandal (or create one yourself)phone to phone.
Thereare already enough arguments out there saying that people (young ones) put toomuch of themselves out there on the internet. Throw in sexting, and apparentlywe have no self-respect.
What areyour thoughts on sexting? Do you think it shows a lack of self-respect?
The views expressed in my blogare my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
A few months ago I decided to move for my job. In the corporateworld, this is known as a Relocation.Say it with my now, “Re-lo-ca-tion.”
I did thisfor a few reasons:
·I wanted to get into our Marketing department
·I was tired of working on Government contracts
·I needed a new start
There aremany things I have learned over the last few months. Some might seem like the mostbasic of advice, but I would say these have worked very well for me. Here aremy top three:
1.Meetthe People You Know.
I was lucky, our headquarters was in my newlocation, so there were hundreds of people I had worked with on some level inthe past. You may or may not have the luxury of knowing hundreds of people, butyou probably know at least one. You should make a point to meet (face-to-face)the people you know. This may include people who reviewed your resume, did yourphone interview, or sent you the office information. You always get an extrabounce in your step when you’ve had the opportunity to put a face with a name.
2.MeetNew People.
Especially if you are single and have nofamily, find a way to meet new people. If you can afford it, an easy way tostart making contacts is to purchase season tickets to a local sports team. Youstart getting friendly with the people around you, perhaps even sell/exchangetickets so it’s not all an expense. Additionally, find different associationsin your area where you can volunteer. These can be professional groups, alumnigroups, or society associations. There may be minor expenses here, but oftenvolunteering can get you discounts to events.
3.Putin the Face Time.
This is different than just meeting people.Unless you are doing the home office thing, put in the face time for the firstfew months. An easy way to get some real value from this is setting up quick introductionmeetings. Start in your group and then work across the organization. Find outwho else you might need to use as a resource and grab a coffee. You’ll learnneat things about your fellow employees, they’ll know you when you send them anemail request, and you might start having friends for lunch and happy hour.
I would love to hear what some people may have learned fromtheir own relocations.
The views expressed in my blogare my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
The Twin Cities had a little bit of snow yesterday. And by a little bit, some parts got as much as 3” in one hour. My little suburb got 7” when all was said and done. Now, this is Minnesota, snow isn’t really that big of a deal here. It falls, gets pushed around all winter, and then you hope it melts without causing a flash flood.
Yesterday, while many people worried about how to get home or pick up kids in white-out conditions, it would appear a party was going on online. Thanks to Twitter, #snowmageddon became the saving grace.
For those who don’t know, putting a hash in front of any word allows a searchable “conversation” to be tracked. It’s kind of like getting invited to a party with a special code word.
These little parties happen every day, and this is not the first snowmageddon by any means, but yesterday, thousands of tweets led to this to be the highest thread for the day.
Sure, none of this is a surprise for Midwesterners, but some of the tweets themselves bring back that warm-fuzzy feeling of people who look on the bright side of things.
For instance, someone tweeted: The 3A slid off the road and now we're picking up the passengers. #snowmageddon.
Others coordinated with spouses and coworkers, many sending wishes of luck while people tried to get home. Those who aren’t even from the Twin Cities participated, many sending words about sun and fun from places like Florida and Southern California.
You even saw clever marketing being used: @NWAWV #snowmageddon $10 off vacation package 4 every inch of snow at MSP airport by 12am CST!
The snow emergency procedures were regularly being posted, in addition to traffic updates. People are still tweeting this morning about successful commutes into work, donut runs, and working breakfasts because the office is still snowed in.
Why is this so fascinating to me? Because it’s my first winter in Minnesota. I was getting real-time updates about what was happening, especially since my phone signal was minimal. Sure, I could look out the window and see white, but weather stations were letting us know how much more to expect, and at what time it would final slow. That’s much more accurate than going to http://www.weather.com/.
You also saw people helping each other out, making requests across the interweb and getting responses. This was an extremely coordinated effort, and today, many messages talk of surviving #snowmageddon.
We’ll probably get another storm next week and do this all over again. Maybe it will be #snowpacolypse. Will you join the party?
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
Admit it, as part of the over-achieving, multi-taskinggeneration, you have some semblance of a life plan. You may not have fleshedout the details or timelines, but you probably have an idea of some of thebiggies you’d like to get accomplished (marriage, home ownership, pet, MBA,etc.).
So with the economy changing, you might have to change, too.I’d like to express this to you in the form of three weddings.
Wedding #1: A close friend of mine (younger) is gettingmarried this spring to the love of her life. They’re having a prettytraditional wedding with 80% of the bells and whistles. Even with the economy,they’re going forward with everything as planned. She just got a promotion atwork, so she’s financially secure, in addition to her fiancé.
Wedding #2: Another close friend (same age) is gettingmarried in the summer, and she’s a smart cookie. Even before the economystarted its nosedive, she wanted to just have something small and fun. She’seven bending over backwards to help out-of-town guests save money by sharinghotel rooms or carpooling from the airport. Her and her fiancé are going tospend the next few years in grad school, so they’re already thinking aboutbudgeting and living within their means.
Wedding #3: Due to the economy and some personal circumstances,this friend (same age) did an elopement, and still only a handful of people know.Her June date now is a reception and college girlfriend reunion. She and herhusband work for the same company in the banking industry, and luckily, bothare still employed. But that could change tomorrow. They decided to forego acostly wedding for friends and family to be more secure in their futuretogether.
As you see, there’s a progression here of how the economycan affect something as common as getting married. Life goes on, even in hardtimes.
Have you had to change any life decisions due to theeconomy?
The views expressed in my blogare my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
Last week, a number of regional leaders were in our corporate office for a meeting. I just happened to be walking by when they were getting a tour, and it was like a family reunion. I’ve done some kind of work with all of them, and the ones who I hadn’t met with face-to-face were just as eager to shake my hand as I was theirs.
See, I’m a big fan of these leaders. If I had pom-poms, I would probably even do a cheer.
Not to say business is like sports, but when things are rough, you kind of have to treat it that way. I love sports, and we’ve all been there: Our home team is struggling, yet we still don our proud colors and scream until we’re blue in the face.
We should be doing that with leaders. Whether they’re the rookie or the veteran, right now, all leaders have a job to do, and for many it’s to pull companies up by the boot straps to get over the economic hurdle.
They may do a great job or totally screw everyone. But leave it to the coach (leader’s boss, CEO, etc.) and management team (the board) to handle that. The best that you can do right now is put on your team’s colors and show up ready to rock.
wiki-How gives some good advice on being a fan, and I’ve adjusted it a bit for the workplace:
1.Decide on your team: This could be your immediate boss, the regional leaders, or the executive team. Know why you’ve chosen this team, as well. Did you work on a special project? Could there be mentoring opportunity there? Knowing why will be just as important as who.
2.Do your homework: You don’t need to know every stat in the book, but do some research. Read articles leaders might have published, find out where they went to school, what teams they root for, etc.
3.Join a fan club: Now there may not actually exist a group on Facebook for East Region Leader Fans, but you can find others within your organization who are fans also. Share articles and info with each other, keep informed of the goings on with your team.
4.Attend an event: You may never meet these people in person, but participate in the things they do. Volunteer for committees or projects, send congrats if they’re in order, send them tweets online, and continue to show support.
If you become a fan of your leaders, ten-to-one, they’ll become a fan of you. Have you ever heard a pitcher say he hates his fans? You’re more likely to hear players dedicate accomplishments to the fans. They couldn’t do it without you.
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
If someone asked me what I wanted to do in five years, I would say, “I have no clue.” That’s because I’ve switched roles every year for the past three years. My current boss probably has the 10-month mark on her calendar as a time to start getting nervous.
But if you asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up? I would say, “I want to have made a difference. And I don’t have to wait to grow up to do that.”
Now, I’m not talking about changing the world, saving the planet, or curing cancer. But I do want to make a difference in business.
Some goals of mine:
·Change how a company does business, helping to restructure their business model to be more successful.
·Help an organization with further international growth, incorporating new cultures into that of the company.
·Help women earn the same dollar every man earns.
These are within my reach. These are within many people’s reach. It’s about how you want to leverage yourself.
See, I like change. I love it. I look at it as opening the doors to new opportunities, and I get so excited. Sometimes, I even look for change, or make it myself. And I’ve always been this way in my personal life, moving back-and-forth across the country as a Navy brat (don’t forget to throw Japan in there, too).
In my work life, it started when change found me. A couple of years ago my boss walked into my office and asked if I was flexible with my plans for the next few weeks. I figured she had an extra concert ticket or something and wanted to bring me along. Nope, instead the company wanted to send me to Geneva for a few weeks to train an operations team there. I had to get on a plane in three days.
After that first trip, I went back to Geneva again, working with the team in addition to training. After Geneva, I went into sales, and now into marketing. But this idea of flying in, working intensely with a team for a few weeks, and then moving on to do it again was always attractive to me.
I may not be able to do that now, but the same principle holds for how I approach my daily work. I truly want to make a difference in how everything is done. I consider myself a Change Agent.
How do you become a Change Agent?
1.Be good with change. If you don’t like change, stop reading.
2.Volunteer for new projects. Start small and build credibility.
3.Be flexible. Change may mean new locations, hours, responsibilities, or all three.
4.Stay energetic. You may walk into horrible situations, but you’re there to help. Stay sunny!
5.Follow through. Keep in touch with the teams and find out how they’re doing. You may get new ideas.
What other ideas would you add to become a Change Agent?
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
If you have flexibility in your personal life, this is a good time to volunteer for work projects. Sure, your day may already be super-packed, but volunteer anyways.
While it may seem like taking on extra work, the value is going to be worth it in the long run. Why? A few reasons:
1.You seem like a go-getter: If the Head of Operations wants to know if you can take the next two-to-four weeks and train the team in Geneva, say “Yes!” Many might be uncomfortable (I had plans, I don’t speak French, I’ll be all by myself), but this is a risk that you’re not only willing to make, but one the company is willing to make on you. A short project in another office could be a good indicator of how you’ll do with larger responsibilities. Think promotion.
2.You’re a team player: I make it a personal goal to know as many people as I can in my company. All our East Region leaders were in the office and let me tell you, the ones who already knew me gave big hugs, and the ones who hadn’t met me yet rushed to shake my hands. Why? Because I wanted to do good work. And in doing good work for one leader, I could do good work for another, and another. If they needed help, I’d always offer. And they know that, which means that there are more and more opportunities to do great things.
3.You’re comfortable with uncertainty: In my first role, almost the entire team was dispersed across the country. We only got to know each other through phone and email. Part of our job was relying on each other. Because we had to communicate effectively, we ended up becoming a very close group. We even sent jokes to each other on Fridays. But in the same time our group grew strong, others failed. We all found a way to work through the complexity of our jobs in addition to not having any face-time to keep us going. This is important because the higher you go, the less clear things are.
4.You get face-time: I know I just said that if you can do your job without face-time, that’s great. When you volunteer for projects though, you eventually start being asked to be on other projects, and some with higher visibility and strategic importance. Which means you may have to fly somewhere for a meeting. Or people may fly to you. And you become more than just an email address to leaders in your organization.
During this, be sure that you are still doing your actual job (this doesn’t work if you can’t complete your everyday responsibilities). Also, discuss this with your boss, let them know where you’re spending extra time, and why you are passionate about these projects. Your boss may surprise you and begin throwing your name into the hat for some really high-profile stuff.
I know there are SO many other benefits out there. What benefits have you gotten from special projects at work?
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
It has been a couple of months since an incident I experienced in the workplace, and I feel that it’s been long enough that I can finally write about it. This incident, in the grand scheme of things, might not seem like much when I reflect on it in 30 years, but I can honestly admit it changed my work life forever.
The Incident:
For the few days before Thanksgiving this year, I decided to drive down to St. Louis and work from my parents’ house. I could then be around to help my mom in the evening with cooking and baking to prepare for the “Big Day.”
I had been experimenting with communication methods, and wanted to send some reflections from my team after a conference earlier that fall. I did a short “movie” with pictures, statements about the conference, and of course some background music. I sent out a note to our North America teammembers (about 400) about the event, about the Internal Use Only link to the video, and a brief introduction to our new team. I wished everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, and moved on to the next thing.
A teammember called me shortly after to say that someone had given me the wrong name for a reference. I corrected the typo, reloaded the video, and figured no one would be the wiser.
As my mom and I headed to the grocery store to pick up the turkey, I saw a note from a Traditionalist (Todd*) in the company. It was a Reply All✢about the typo:
“…This smacks of overreaching and pretending we are sophisticated experts when the spelling shouts out at top volume that we don't know what we're talking about…”
As if that wasn’t enough, there was a second Reply All from him within the minute to remind people to never guess when spelling names.
Why hadn’t he called me? Or sent a note just to me? I had already fixed the problem because someone else was kind enough to pick up the phone. Not that I’m saying that I was wrong, I should have triple checked my sources, but was it really necessary to Reply All…twice?
My Blackberry erupted. Throughout the day I received phone calls from concerned teammembers, including my boss who was on vacation inMexicoat the time. Additionally, I got at least 30 personal emails from all across the organization sharing their support. This escalated so quickly, an Executive chose to respond:
“…Today Todd caught a typo and reminded us all to be careful when publishing work - let his email be a reminder to us about the importance of double checking such things before posting as a way to ensure top quality.
Let Emily's work also be a signal to us all of the power of creativity and multimedia which, when broadcast over the internet can provide a wonderful way to educate, engage, and entertain…”
Reflections:
Ironically enough, someone told me that this couldn’t have been a betterpublicity stuntif I had planned it. One of the other Executives came up to me to say he had watched the video three times and couldn’t find what the fuss was about, assuming that the mistake had been fixed before the emails even went out. The following week, I had heard from more people within the organization, either by them stopping by my office or sending additional notes.
The message: I came out looking good in this.
Why?
Because the punishment didn’t fit the crime. I was being made an example of, put in my place if you will, when a simple call could have solved everything.
Not that I advise you find a way to have your own “incident,” but I’ve developed a thick skin because of it. I know the network I have built internally was strong enough to support me. I learned that the Executives valued me as part of the team, and it renewed my trust in our leadership. And finally, as my officemate said to me, I found I can be pretty ballsy when I want to.
I am not afraid to try new things anymore, and that is refreshing.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
✢Email text is excerpted.
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
