Jumping Into the Deep End of Leadership by Donna Karlin

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Leadership: It's All About You...It Really Is!

Writing content for a human behavioral program is no easy feat. Sending it to my R & D team for their input, edits and thoughts and expecting to just get regular every day feedback is next to impossible. Consider a 26 week program which means 26 segments along with intro sheets for each being analyzed by coaches. Do you think any of them agree on concept, approach and impact and not want to talk about each and every point? I think you’ve figured out the answer to that one.

R & D teams are amazing resources and I am very thankful for mine and the other one’s I’m involved in. Getting my 'It’s All About You…and Others’ program vetted, tweaked and launched this week was probably one of the most difficult tasks I’ve ever undertaken. It wasn’t because it was so hard to write content, as let’s face it, humans are very unique, multi-faceted beings so I’d have enough content to write for the rest of my life! It was that the dialogue that evolved because of the button-pushing questions in the program was so good none of us wanted it to stop. Perhaps there’s a blog in there somewhere.....

We can either live in a rationalizing world or one where we look at the truth of our lives and our places in them and change, tweak and embrace pieces of it accordingly. When we live in a world of rationalization, we tend to make or try to make the unacceptable acceptable and that’s where cracks in our foundation of life start to form. Cracks can become craters if we’re not careful. People tend to ignore those cracks and often only start paying attention when a chasm forms.

In one of the weekly modules I state “People fail to see that they are the magic wand they wait and wish for. They’re always looking somewhere else for a magical solution. Why are you looking for that magic wand? What choices do you have to make to create those results all on your own?” That one thought inspired weeks of dialogue for us personally, as coaching professionals and because of what we see in the lives of our clients as well. How many wait for that perfect time? What is that perfect time exactly and what makes it perfect? They wait for ‘one day’, or for retirement. They make lists of places they want to travel to and yet never pull those lists out of the drawer because they’re waiting for that magic wand to give them their promotion first, the winning lottery ticket, that grasp at the unreachable, which is reachable only if they started making changes in their lives. It’s so much easier to lead others than lead ourselves through life.

Someone I was in a group session with recently was so busy talking about her past that she had no thoughts at all focused on her future. She could articulate every single thing she ever did in her past, endless numbers of jobs and careers… all aimless, none focused on helping her achieve and live her dream. She looked at what was, not what is or what might be. It was so much easier reliving the past through the filters of rationalization. Her work is in limbo, her life is static and that magic wand is slightly out of reach.

Oh yes, 26 weeks of content wasn’t difficult to come up with. Choosing only 26 centers of focus was. Are you waiting for that magic wand to make that job better, give you the perfect career, the perfect hours, perks, or location? How could you look at your life right now as perfect, even if it clearly isn’t? There’s perfect according to you and perfect as in you’ll learn more about yourself in 'this' context than anywhere else for it’s the biggest challenge you’ve ever encountered. You might look at others and how they react to things in their worlds, and criticize them for it but are really looking at them or yourself?

If you lead in any capacity, look at the impact you have on everyone around you as they will watch what you do and how you do it and respond to that way more than the words you speak. It really is all about you, how you look at things, process things, accept, gravitate to or reject people, experiences and opportunities. It’s much easier to critique others’ ways of being than our own. And for those who want a reality check and have kids, just ask them what they've paid attention to over the years; what you've said or what you've lived.

How can you become your own magic wand?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

07:40 am | 0 recommendations | 2 comments

Leadership: Are You in Meeting Hell?

Have you been in meeting hell lately? I love observing my clients in meetings. Way too often I see the glaze of boredom come over their eyes, or one of puzzlement as they sit through a meeting they have absolutely no idea why they’re at in the first place. That’s a great indication of how quickly a group moves forward …or not. An organization that can’t get their meetings right won’t have a decision-making body they need either in order to get the job done. With the wrong people at the table and lack of direction within the meetings themselves, there is a fundamental roadblock to moving forward.

When I poll staff in organizations at all levels and ask them what their biggest time waster is, the answer is always “meetings”. Not sometimes. Always. We look at the dynamics of the meetings, the players, the content and how often (way too often) there is no agenda whatsoever, so the attendees even know what information or documents to bring to the table. When I even bring up this topic my clients will often throw their hands up in the air and say "I don't even know where to start!" Their days are spoken for before they walk through the door and yet they're still expected to get all their work done. When? After hours? Does leadership of any organization think this will be sustainable and actually think they'll retain their staff? Obviously the answer must be yes because this is the status quo of way too many organizations. Or is the answer yes?

I believe this happens because leaders aren’t paying attention and aren’t informed as to the time pressures that exist for their staff. More and more, priorities are heaped onto groups but the question “What can I drop so I can get this done?” is rarely asked. The subject of time, meeting hell etc must be discussed. It won’t go away and in the days of conference call meetings and multiple time zones for global organizations, the pressures are even tighter.

Years ago, when I first started with a client and had our initial fact-finding conversation he lamented to me that he had no time to get his work done so went home at the end of each day with the feeling that he hadn’t accomplished much of anything. The frustration was mounting and he needed to figure out if he needed more staff or had to re-group and re-think. He needed to know the core dynamics of what was going on as this wasn’t sustainable.

I asked his assistant to give me a two month forecast of his meetings only, not his work load. I wanted to see all meetings he had to lead, bilateral meetings with staff, those he absolutely had to attend and those he chose to attend because the subject matter was of great interest to him. I took it back to my office and analyzed what she had given me. This was strictly what was in place for regularly scheduled meetings, no hot issues or fires. When I plugged it into a detailed scheduler the picture that came out was grim.

I walked into his office first thing in the morning and said “OK, here’s the reality of the situation. You have an hour and a half free time” to which he replied “Well that’s not too bad. It’s not as bad as I thought it was”. And then I continued “….a week, in ten minute increments!”

He was flabbergasted. This was his reality check. We now had a starting point, figuring out when and how to say “No.” How is anyone supposed to get anything done in those circumstances? It was time to figure out what needed to happen, what he didn’t have to go to, what he wanted to play at and who could attend in his place on a regular basis at right level who could provide continuity to the group and be high enough up to make relevant decisions. Then we could work with work load, delegation issues etc. One can't achieve any level of excellence if they're always playing catch-up.

So what's the answer?

Meetings really can be the best use of time if handled wisely. Some tips to think about:

Ask yourself, do you have to be at this meeting? And if so, do you have to stay for the entire meeting? Often you can ask the Chair to cover your subject at the beginning so you can share the information you need to share and if no decision is required and the rest of the meeting isn’t relevant, gracefully leave after your segment is over.

Rotate the Chairs of the meeting. Chairing a meeting isn’t easy. Once you sit in that seat you’ll realize just how difficult reigning people in and keeping to topic can be! You’ll also be more respectful of others when it’s their turn to Chair.

Have a reality checker and rotate that position as well. A reality checker has a dual role in the meeting: The first role to be a time watcher with regards to divvying up time to cover all points of the agenda. If there’s a hot issue that needs more time, the time checker takes a moment to call a vote around the table as to whether to park it for another meeting or for the group to determine what will be dropped to cover the issue. That other topic will be tabled for another meeting. Second role is to stop now and then and ask the group whether or not the meeting itself is meeting their expectations with regards to any decisions or information they need to move forward. If the answer is no, the focus has to change to meet those needs and expectations of outcome.

Most important, work with leadership to set the rules of the meeting game and constantly revisit, rethink and revamp as needs change. If you set the meeting ground rules together with your staff and consistently do a reality check as to needs and results of meetings, you’ll see how your respect quotient will increase exponentially.

It’s not about managing time. It’s about how you respect you and others in relation to time.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

03:40 pm | 0 recommendations | 7 comments

Leadership: Living Through the Rear View Mirror

My business cards have a shadow of a person driving with a reflection in the rear-view mirror. Why? Because I tell my clients “If you live your life by constantly looking in the rear-view mirror, you’ll eventually crash and burn. Objects (or past history) in rear view mirrors do appear larger than they really are. Our pasts seem to be magnified exponentially in our memories.

To build on my post for a moment from July 11th 2007 Direction Defined or Not , you can’t live your life through your past. You can build on it and move forward because of it, for good or bad but you can’t live on your laurels forever. You’ll have to start living your future right now or before you know it, you’ll be looking at just more of the same and no movement whatsoever. For leaders, that could very well mean being put out to pasture and replaced by those who build a future by the choices they make right now. Successful leaders celebrate their successes, build on them and move forward. They constantly reinvent.

Recently I was with a group of people working together to create business plans. What an amazing experience! Each person asked for help and support in making their professional (and in some instances personal) dreams a reality. Yet there was one who started off every sentence by “Oh I used to do that, and when I did, I did it this way!” His was the only way, the best way, and he seemed to have done it all. If there were twenty projects and directions the others wanted to take you can be sure he said he had done all of them at some point in his life, and yet he was the only one who had no definitive direction as to where he wanted to go for his future. The others around the table gave him some ideas he might want to work with. He nodded as if he was actually listening but ran with none of them. Through the week we kept hearing “When I used to do that…”

A few weeks have now passed and I’m watching as the others work towards their plans and are actually building a life they love. They’re making professional changes to grow and are collaborating on both small and large projects that will give them more visibility, knowledge, experience and expertise in their fields, helping them achieve their level of excellence. And yet this individual, while he looks in his rear-view mirror is at a standstill for now. He’s stalled in the past and has no vision whatsoever for his future.

Does this sound like anyone you know? You can only challenge someone so far to take a good hard look at where they’re at in the scheme of things, but if they’re not willing to truly see the path they’re on, they will eventually crash and burn. It’ll then be much harder to pick up the pieces and start from scratch.

Some points for you to ponder:

Do you find yourself thinking and speaking in the past tense?

Do you have a plan for your future? Not necessarily a list of goals but a dream you’re working towards?

Who can you ask for help so you can really get there and make it happen?

What do you need to know that you don’t know? (A great barometer)

People generally find it easier to help others than to ask for help. If you like the feeling of giving to help someone else to realize their dreams, why in the world would you deprive others of feeling the same way when they want to help you?

Have you articulated what your future will look like? Until you see it, touch it and breathe it, how can you figure out ways and steps forward to make it happen?

No ceiling, just sky.

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

12:38 am | 0 recommendations | 2 comments

Leadership: What If You Said No?

What would happen if you said no? Would you begin to panic once you heard the words leave your mouth? Start to scramble to backtrack and end up doing what you said no to in the first place?

Part of my last piece about react vs. respond encompasses this very question. I watch clients every day react to being tasked with something they really can't do. Either they are already so bogged down with work this might be the straw that broke the camel's back or they have no resources to do it properly in the first place and no clear mandate as to why they have to do it. And yet they automatically say yes.

When I ask them the question, "What if you said no?", most of the time the answer I get back is "I don't think I can say no" or "It never occurred to me to say no or that I could say no!" or "I've automatically said yes for so long, it's a habit and I'm no longer aware I'm doing it.

Think about it for a moment. Hasn't that happen to you more than once when you wanted to just kick yourself?

What would happen if you pushed back and said "What can I drop in order to do this?" How many of you have the guts to say no, it can't be done and not fear for losing your job? What does leadership have to 'get' in order to accept that not everything is possible right now? Once that tiny three-letter word (yes) leaves your lips, it's rare you can go back, and yet isn't this one of the quickest reactions of all jumping in without testing the waters first?

Has it ever happened to you and if so, what did you ultimately do about it?

This can be one of your most amazing learning curves. Not an easy one, granted, but definitely a steep curve. That dialogue has to happen. It has to happen when there are no pressures, as a hypothetical conversation that shows example. Then it's much easier to implement when you have that dialogue to refer to. When you set boundaries and say no strategically, leadership will learn that you're not saying no randomly. You're saying it for valid reasons and unless there are some fundamental changes in the status quo there is no way you can do one more thing without burning out or burning everyone else around you and as well, giving shoddy results. Where's the win-win in that?

So how do you say no and not only live with it but thrive because of it, as saying no leaves you space to say yes to the things you should be doing. That's what priorities are all about. Defining those priorities is one of the key skills of leadership. If they don't know that, this could be a great learning curve for them as well.

Thoughts on this?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

11:47 am | 0 recommendations | 11 comments

Leadership: Reacting vs. Responding

People limit themselves without realizing it by reacting to situations, rather than responding and broadening their horizons.

That statement is one of many in a new program we're launching this week called "It's All About You...and Others". It's in the final tweaking stages and is being proofed and reviewed by some of my colleagues and clients before going live. Out of the 26 segments of this mini self-coaching course, this one statement is pushing more buttons than any other, and let me tell you, as a self-awareness behavioral course, there are a lot of very edgy truths besides this one that one might think would push more buttons than this.

Perhaps it's taking responsibility for how we react to situations that are out of our comfort zone and then get angry and react in the process or perhaps it's an in your face "look at when you react and act yourself why" question that comes to mind.

I'd love to hear how you look at a statement like that and how, if at all, it might apply in the context of your world. That's what it's all about, though isn't it? Awareness of self and our place in our world.

What's your immediate gut reaction to this?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

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Leadership: Attitude is Contagious

Enthusiasm is contagious, as is laughter. The same could be said for the negative ways of being. Have you ever watched a few people at the coffee machine (the new version of water cooler talk) trying to outdo one another? “I have had the worst day”. (only to hear back) “If you think you had a bad day, just listen to what happened to me!” and so it goes….

As a Shadow Coach I always begin my partnership with a client by having a conversation. Years ago I might have done some assessments and in some cases, still do, but for the bulk of clients I work with, we go somewhere quiet to just talk. It’s amazing how their story emerges in conversation which gives me a wealth of information. This is the starting point and from there, as I work with them in the context of their worlds, I pick up the rest as it unfolds.

My clients become “Problem-free zones”. They make it very clear they are not a dumping ground for problems, rather they are a solution resource to help others work through issues and challenging situations. Last week I started working with a new client and arranged to meet her for a coffee to talk before beginning our sessions together. My first question to her was “What’s working really well?” She was flabbergasted! For a few minutes she didn’t know how to answer me. She was expecting me to ask what wasn’t working and instead we started talking about what was great. As her focus was on what was really good, she started recognizing the same in her staff. We implemented a “I caught you doing something good” policy in her division. Nothing like hearing that from your boss, right? Their collective attitude changed. They’re now speaking to the best in each other and getting more of it.

Staff gets to know me as I Shadow Coach my clients through the chaos of their days. No matter what’s happening, and often it’s global crises that we’re living through, there is always a spring to my step, a smile not far off and an energy that is tangible. That goes well beyond the moment in time. It’s also contagious.

Next time you find yourself complaining and negative, remember attitude is like a virus, not only contagious but reaches far beyond present company. Instead of negativity, spread the enthusiasm virus and see how much farther it gets you. Remember powerful people attract powerful people and whiners attract whiners. Which group do you want to be a part of?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

10:29 am | 0 recommendations | 3 comments

Leadership: Direction Defined or Not

Yogi Berra said “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else”. Thomas Leonard said “Stop looking for direction….just get on a path” and I’m often quoted as saying “If you’re so focused on your end destination you’ll miss life along the way.”
Some are so determined to get from point ‘A’ to point ‘Z’ they miss everything in the meantime…everything that unfolds in the process which might just take them on a better path instead.

Use, for a moment, the analogy of a person going for a power walk or walk to get exercise….watch them as they focus so intently on how far they walk, their pace, their body movements to make sure they get the most benefit from this exercise. If you watch their facial expressions, and head movements they’re looking straight forward for markers so they know how far they’ve gone, often glance at their watch to see how good a time they’re making. They’re on auto-pilot, walking for a purpose but most of the time not noticing anything along the way. They’re not letting the world in, rather they’re in isolation from the world as they achieve their purpose, but not grow in the interim.

Do you find yourself so focused on finishing tasks, projects, getting from A to B that you miss so much along the way and finish without that sense of achievement? The reason why is you’re working towards a deadline not much else. In that case you’re not defining your direction you’re letting the path define it.

What if you took the time for conscious reflective thought to see the intention of what you’re doing, how it would make you evolve or not and in the scheme of things, what it means in your life to do what you’re doing?

And if you’re not happy with the answers you’re getting, what if anything would you do about it?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

10:41 am | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Leadership: Four Day Work Weeks, Are They Possible?

Is a four day work week possible and sustainable? In many organizations, public and private sector, this conversation is coming up more often than not. Many staff are asking for compressed work weeks, to be able to work one day a week from home and in some cases, are asking to shorten the work week altogether to four days instead of five.

In a society where many are now working seven days a week, as people are busier than ever, it is possible to implement and sustain a four day work week without the organization suffering? It’s one thing perhaps for staff to work four days a week, but would it ever be possible for management or senior leadership?

I asked this question to a client of mine recently and he immediately dismissed it as impossible. But consider for a moment, would this teach people to work smarter? People never seem to have enough time to do their work and do it well but they always seem to have time to do it over. If work effectiveness was honed to such an extent, priorities defined (and stuck to) couldn’t it be possible to work four days a week? With increased effectiveness, even then there never seems to be enough time to get everything done within existing tight deadlines. How in the world would it be possible to meet those deadlines if you’re working less hours and can’t seem to stay on top of things even with working overtime?

I’d love your three cents on this. Is your organization thinking of implementing a four day work week and if so, has it been successful? As well, those who are working four days, what level are they working at in the organization? Are any in senior leadership positions?

There is a theory that if a four day work week was the norm, people wouldn’t be as burned out and would have more energy to work smarter and get the job done. There are many variables at play. What day of the week does one take off? Does it have to be uniform right through the organization so everyone takes Friday or Monday or in some cases, Wednesday? I remember the days when you took it for granted that your physician wouldn’t be in on Wednesdays. There was a running joke that if you needed a doctor, you could find him or her on the golf course, especially in summer. If there was an emergency people went to the hospital anyways, so what was wrong with working a four day work week? It seemed to work back then as it does for many physicians now. If people who deal with major health issues and patients’ well-being were able to do it, why not the corporate world? I’d be fascinated to hear the answer to that one.

What would your life look like if that was true for you? With the present intensity of the workplace, the long hours and frequent burn out, couldn’t it mean a better and more effective work environment if we slowed down to the speed of life? Think about it. How can it happen?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

04:35 am | 0 recommendations | 8 comments

Leadership: Experiencing Breakthrough

Have you had a breakthrough lately? It’s very different than making small changes in your life, career, or ways of being that might or might not be sustainable; it’s the tipping point that shifts paradigms permanently. It changes the way you process thought, the way you tackle something and interact, deal with issues, lead others,…it’s all of it. You’ll never be the same or 'go back' because the fundamental way you think will come from a different place altogether.

To use an analogy, picture being in a room surrounded by tinted glass, an enclosed room muffling everything around you. All of a sudden something comes along that smashes the glass. It’s not removed, it’s eliminated or destroyed. There are no more barriers, no filters. All of a sudden the walls are opened up, they're no longer boxing you in allowing light, or illumination to stream in. It's the epitome of the 'AHHA!' moment bringing absolute clarity and direction.

Take that analogy and apply it to your life, your leadership, your perspectives. Now what would it look like? And if you have experienced breakthrough, what did it look like?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com

10:49 pm | 0 recommendations | 4 comments

Leadership: Are Normal Work Hours Possible in a Global Organization?

As organizations grow and become global, therefore multiple time zones, are what one might consider normal working hours not to mention work-life balance possible? I won’t for a second begin to define what work-life balance is, as it all depends on individuals, their personalities, and energy level, along with a multitude of other factors. But aside from work-life balance by any definition, are normal work hours even in the equation?

If you have to be in conference calls with your other centers around the globe and they need financial numbers, stock market figures etc, which means the conversation has to be as late in the day as possible, is it possible to structure a work week so there is some balance in your life and you have time for a life?

Last week I wrote about perks of the workplace and pushed a few buttons along the way. Great! actually, because if you’re not paying attention, you’re not going to determine whether or not it’s what you want ultimately, especially before your personal life disappears into thin air. My work is all about awareness. Yours is making choices that suit your values and define and maintain your personal boundaries. It doesn’t matter if you’re the leader of the organization or the lowest person on the totem pole. You all have choices to make with regards to what’s acceptable to you. So to take this one step further, there are other kinds of perks or enticements that have nothing whatsoever to do with the ‘extras’. They are harder to say no to because often people are enticed by who they’ll work with, from company to its leadership, and will sacrifice a great deal for the opportunity.

I’ve been there, done that, however eventually and thankfully because of my training, I was able to say no to some of the most glamorous, enticing opportunities possible within my profession. I asked myself, “What would I have to give up to have this?” The cost was way too high.

There are other intangible enticements. I’d love to hear you input and perspectives as to what you think some of them may be. For example, what if you always wanted to work for one of the most visible, powerful firms in the world, knew you had to start in the lower ranks and pay your dues, and work night and day to grow within the organization? Is it to have a great life or impressive lifestyle? What will you give up to get what exactly, because in the realm of life, if you give up life, what are you left with when all is said and done?

Having fun and being pumped with your job is probably the biggest enticement of all. If you are having that much fun it can become addictive.

So I leave you with the question “What would your life look like if…?”and finish that sentence. Whatever it is that finishes that statement, eg. "I was working with...." or "I was working at...." and look at the answer you come up with. Then ask yourself, is it or was it worth it? The answer will be staring you in the face. Will you pay attention to what it tells you?

Donna Karlin • Executive and Political Shadow Coach™ • Ottawa, Canada • •www.abetterperspective.com