The moment we allow someone else to make a decision for us, we're giving away our personal power. That goes for remaining silent when you know you need to speak up or not making a decision at all so someone or circumstances make it for you.
That's where the our personal foundation starts to crack. Cracks turn into craters when one decision or lack of starts a ripple effect which impacts our worlds.
How are you going to take your personal power back? Leaders are expected to make decisions that move people and organizations forward, however on a daily basis as I Shadow Coach them, I see them make decisions based on emotion, assumptions and expectations. When things and relationships start breaking down, they go into 'fix mode' rather than 'build mode' and that's where cracks turn into crevices.
We are creatures of habit so how do you break down those habits that no longer serve you and make decisions based on the future you want to build?
Are you so wrapped up in the day to day stuff, you forget to pay attention to the impact of your decisions? What do you need to do so slow down to the speed of conscious thought? In doing that you will respond to whatever comes your way instead of react.
Perspective is both the angle you see yourself and your life from as well as the viewing height. The higher the perspective, the clearer the view. How can you position yourself to increase your perspective there by helping you see what you're not paying attention to? How are you questioning what doesn't make sense, introduce paradoxes, and create stimulating arenas and environments that will expand your thinking as your world unfolds? That's where you start dancing in the moment, making the decisions you need to make now to build 'later'.
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” - Rainer Maria Rilke.
As a coach I ask my clients to live in the questions.As leaders they are looked at for the answers.They almost automatically try to process things at the speed of light and do something with what’s thrown in front of them because that’s what their world has trained them to do for so long.
But to live in the questions at least long enough for an insight, a paradigm shift or a newfound awareness, how they do the rest will shift and they will look at themselves and others through those insights.
So I ask you to live in some of the questions and see what unfolds, though perhaps not at this moment in time.Then ask yourself “What will your life look like if you took some space in time to just be, not solve, not try to have that magic wand but to see a question for what it is…something to be curious about and let grow within you.Leading from curiosity brings a depth and breadth to your world and those within it through conversation, discovery and growth.
We don't live in an all or nothing world, even though many of our choices are black or white.
We do that often and we're not even aware that we're doing it.
That came to light for me this morning when I was waffling between diving into a piece of work I had scheduled in or diving into the TED.com website. I admit it. I'm a TED addict and because of that I had eliminated it out of my day as I would get lost in the videos and thoughts they inspired and forget about the rest of my work. Not a great thing. So, like many do who are looking at being effective, I cut it out.
This morning I gave myself a 'what for ' when (being a coach here) I had a discussion with myself, silently of course asking "What did I have to gain by cutting out TED?" Time? Yes. More focus on my work? Definitely.
But what was I missing?
Amazing stories. Innovative ideas, information I would have never known otherwise. So I made a conscious decision not to live in an all or nothing world and instead, perhaps limit the amount of time I spend per day getting lost (and found ) in TED.
I see leaders live a black and white day every day. They call it prioritisation. They choose the top three, four or five things to get done in a day and everything else goes by the wayside. They pat themselves on the backs when they can actually accomplish more than two and their days aren't taken over by other stuff. What are they missing?
Yesterday I posed a question to my network of professionals. It went something like "Is there a cost to increased productivity? What might we be missing when it comes to learning curve, collaboration, less research or is there anything else that comes to mind for you in answering this question? Sometimes we strive to do things better, smarter, faster but what might we miss along the way?"
In this ever faster, fast paced world it's increasingly harder for organizational leaders to take the time they want to grow personally and grow rising stars because of the demands on their time, feeling the need to be more productive especially during a period of a depressed economy.
While becoming 'more productive' from an organizational perspective, in the midst of all this, they're killing their people. They feel they have to be better, faster, smarter, deeper, more intuitive, less intuitive (follow orders) until they go on auto pilot, lose a great deal of their innovative spirit and creativity but meet all the criteria of effectiveness measurements.
A black and white or all or nothing world.....before they know it, the day is over and they pause until they do the same scrambling tomorrow. What do we lose along the way in an all or nothing world? We lose impact, personal learning, the ability to grow people from an emotionally intelligent perspective.
I won't say anything about time evaporating, as it's March, but we blink and it's gone. So the way I look at it, I have to make the right choices in real time. I'm always amazed at how people put things off to "one day" or "I'll do it later" and they never really get to it. I have more people come to me not wanting to have any regrets. Well, not regretting anything is easier than you think. Just do things, don't just think about them. Change your focus in conversations and look at life as a clean canvas to paint the most glorious picture on. Close your eyes, see it and then make it happen!
People are putting things off because of the economy, because of lack of resources or not enough time. thing is, you can't buy back time. You can ask yourself (and answer) the question "When is the right time?" But while you do that, look at the ramifications of putting it off for the 'right' time as well.
And while you're at it, remember along with every choice you make, every conversation you have will shape your future.
Period.
Everything you share is processed by the person listening through their own story. Speak to what they fear most, and they'll fear more. Focus on what you fear the most and you'll fear more, for you and the other person on the other side of the conversation. If you start the conversation complaining about the economy and the difficult working and living environment, everything you say from that moment on will be filtered through that first sentence.
There are people thriving in these less than optimal times. Why? Because they see beyond the immediate and each choice on its own to what they want to create and grow into for their future.
Those people are successful people.
It's not about ignoring what's happening in the world; it's about choosing your place within it.
I love this quote: "I endeavour to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content with what cannot be mended and patient when there is no redress." - Elizabeth Montagu
In times of economic challenges most people look at life from a position of what isn’t working as opposed to what is. Even more so, if you equate yourselves with what you do rather than who you are, and you’re struggling in your work, it will fundamentally impact your life. You’ve heard me say “Attitude is contagious.” It’s not only contagious to others but to yourselves as well as you talk yourself into something or out of something. If you’re going to self-talk it might as well be in a way that energizes you and helps you succeed even in the midst of difficult times.
Don’t ever take your gifts for granted.
“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” - Patanjali (c. 1st to 3rd century BC).
According to Functionfox, despite the economic downturn, many small firms expect to grow revenues, maintain staff size, and hone their positioning.
-40% of small creative firms expect revenue growth in 2009
-23% expects to increase their staff in 2009
-61% expects to maintain current staff size
-33% of firms feel positive about their abilities to refocus their approach and positioning
The survey is fascinating and shows growth even in the midst of economic turmoil. If you focus on what you can bring to the table rather than what the table is giving you, you just might be surprised.
Best for 2009!
* Functionfox survey information reprinted with permission
For everything you do, think bigger, think multi-dimensional, think ramifications and think ripple effect. Broaden your horizons.
Last week I spoke at the HOW Mind Your Own Business Conference. There was a group of amazingly talented individuals in that room. Through their work, they impact all their work touches and that definitely goes well beyond their immediate understanding or knowledge. One of the questions I asked them was “Are you aware of your level of impact”?
Many people don’t see beyond those they don’t immediately touch so forget to pay attention to the power of their work and how far reaching it is. I shared with them the many ‘hats’ I wear. Each one has a purpose beyond their immediate purpose. In case that doesn't make sense, I'll give you an example. I write for a few publications, this being one of them. As I write I ask myself “What reach do I have? How can I indirectly coach those who are reading this piece even if it’s just one thought that might move them forward?” I think the same about my speaking engagements where my goal is to impact the lives of those who are listening to me, even if it’s just one thing they do differently as that one thing can have an extraordinary impact on many other things.
No matter what your leadership role, are you changing how you do your work so your impact goes beyond your immediate world? If you’re a businesspreneur or entrepreneur, a sole proprietor or someone who thinks their circle of influence is only in their immediate geographic or organizational arena, think bigger. How can you get the word out to not only show your expertise but leadership in your field? You can impact people all over the globe by thinking bigger, and targeting what you do to reach farther. You can reach a broader population and many more people than you think if you start writing, speaking, networking and sharing who you are with those you don’t know.
You know who you know… Who don’t you know that you need to know to expand your circle of influence?
Remember, the gap between where you are and where you want to be is filled with what you choose to do in everything you do, all the time, starting now. Leadership is not only being great in your field, it’s being a creative thinker and getting that message out.
Summer used to be a time when things slowed down. That doesn't seem to be happening any more. People think summer is quieter and then they ask "Whatever happened to Summer"?
For many, especially those in positions of leadership, entrepreneurs or anyone running a people oriented business, when some things slow down, they're immediately filled by others. To use myself as an example, client time over summer generally slows down as many take vacations with their kids. So I fill it with prep for class material, speaking engagement content, articles, do work for 2 Boards I sit on and, like this summer, finishing a book and diving into another (a unique book on the subject of leadership...stay tuned).
What I notice (hey as a Shadow Coach I have a ton of data to draw from) is that people don't pay attention to what it is they're doing. They just do...and do...and do more, run more, scramble more, try to keep up more without really paying attention to why they're doing it. It's a frenetic world, a whirlwind of activity.
Someone recently asked me how I could keep up with everything I do. The answer is simple. I do not commit to anything I don't have the time for and I mean enough time to do it well. I won't even tell anyone I'm thinking of a project unless I have the time to do it, as articulating it, saying it out loud, is a commitment. My motto "I live my life by the commitments I make and keep" applies to the people in my life and my work.
If you can't answer the question "Why am I doing this?" then stop doing it, at least until you can answer. Then follow up with "What should I be doing that I'm not doing" and "What am I doing that I should NOT be doing" and magically you just might have time to do things you know you should and want to be doing and do them well.
Thomas Edison said “Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing." That's called busy-making.
Structure doesn't box you in, it sets you free, giving you the freedom to realize your dreams because you'll have time to pay attention to them. Are you paying attention to yours?
It’s amazing how many get to positions of organizational leadership while lacking emotional intelligence. Lack of or poor EI costs organizations more money than you can imagine. I’ve been quoted as saying “People take jobs because of people and leave jobs because of people”. The organization can be the most amazing place in the world but if the manager doesn’t value people as people and see their human side rather than only what they can produce, those people will ultimately be discouraged, feel undervalued and sooner than later leave. There is more to a company than bottom line. You can show profit yes, but if your people are coming and going like a revolving door, it’s costing big bucks to replace them. That alone can very well cut into profits and jeopardize organizational sustainability and success.
In his book ‘Go Put Your Strengths to Work: Six Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance”, Marcus Buckingham said “Study unproductive teams and you'll discover that the teammates argue a lot. Study successful teams and you'll learn they argue just as much. To find the secrets to a great team, you have to investigate the successful ones to figure what's going on in the space between the arguments.” Look at the EI in that space and you’ll understand why they’re successful.
Being smart is no longer enough. It’s been proven time and time again that people want to be noticed for who they are as much as what they do. In conversation with some of the most experienced executive coaches in the world, we looked at the EI and EQ factor in organizations as well as those who offered coaching to their staff. It’s apparent that organizations that support staff through coaching retained their staff for a much longer period. It was also apparent that organizations that were world class and known as powerful, successful companies, integrated coaching into their day to day business and staff support and growth systems. It’s now becoming a matter of haves and ‘have-nots’. Many clients are looking to see how organizations that service them in some way treat their staff. This is becoming a major factor in the contracting process. Clients want to know that their consultant, representative, or contact will be around for awhile. Let’s face it, if an organization can’t support and grow their people, how in the world will potential clients expect them to do the same when supporting them and their businesses?
Bottom line is, hiring a coach is far less expensive than what it will cost your organization if you don’t.
Are you paying attention to your level of impact? What you say, do, think and feel doesn't stay with you without impacting others. The intangibles show up as clear as the rest. For someone in a position of leadership if you're trying to hide, fear, worries, hide information from others, whatever it may be, it will be picked up. These subtle inklings will in some way break down trust as others will try to second guess what it is they think you're hiding.
As I tell my clients "If there's silence or lack of communication, others will fill in the gaps with their own perceived stories and they're rarely good ones. Then not only do you have to break down the barrier of their assumptions but gain back their full trust as well. Not a great scenario!"
Like a virus, doubt can spread from person to person and before you know it, it can permeate the organization. You don't necessarily have control over how an emotional virus spreads; you do, however have control over what that 'energy' will be, whether enthusiastic and positive or demoralizing and negative. Which do you want it to be?
Your impact, no matter what your level or role in an organization will make a difference well beyond your awareness or understanding. Not only will it spread to others in your immediate world but others and theirs as well.
Marian Anderson said "Leadership should be born out of the understanding of the needs of those who would be affected by it." Make no mistake. As a leader everyone around you will be influenced by everything you do and say.
I was talking to a dear friend and fellow Coach the other day about ‘waiting for a crisis to change our ways of being’ as it applies in all aspects of our life, work, personal relationships, and health, as well as the health of an organization.
To say human beings process things in a certain way, in this case waiting until things are ‘broken,’ is to give validity to a perspective or paradigm that doesn’t serve us. Why wait for a crisis to implement change or rethink and reinvent something? Why not just create something incredible to start with, when everything is already good?
Could it be we automatically settle because amazing things happen to someone else, not us? Is it possible we don’t want to ‘press our luck’? Many have a hard time getting past their successes and so stop dead halfway to their dreams. Many become workaholics and yet won’t redefine their lives until their partner is about to ‘walk.’ There are those who won’t redefine how a company operates until it’s in crisis and about to go under. Why wait until the last moment when digging yourself out is so much harder than building something new on a foundation of great?
I believe we can do our best when we have the conversations we need to have with people in all fields of practice. It’s not just talking to clients or colleagues, it’s talking to everyone and anyone to find out their story, how they got to where they are. How does it apply to you?
Questions I ask my clients are simple yet shine a light on what they have to pay attention to. One of the key questions is "What aren't you thinking of?" That might sound strange yet those who stumble and feel as if they can't figure out why they're stagnating are looking at the same solutions they tried over and over again. What haven't they tried? What haven't they paid attention to? As a Coach that's one of my main focuses....to make sure I can help them see beyond the immediate.
The second question is "Who do you need to talk to that you haven't spoken to yet and what does that conversation have to look like?" Again people have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, however if it doesn't apply to you or where you dream of going then you have to ask the right questions to get the right answers. So again I ask "What does that conversation have to look like?"
Sometimes what I do as a coach isn't adding something; often it's the removal of something which might be an assumption, an expectation or a judgment. Remove what stands in your way and there is clear sailing. No ceiling...just sky!
So to leave you with one last question, "What do you need to know that you don't know?"
