This morning in Seth Godin's blog, he wrote about "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it" it triggered some of the dynamics of what's been happening on Boards I'm involved in, my client's worlds and some of what my colleagues are dealing with in theirs as well. When I want your opinion, I'll definitely ask for it which doesn't translate to "Whatever you say I'll use as gospel and park my own opinions". Those of you who lead teams, organizations or boards of directors know how powerful generative dialogue is in making the necessary decisions to move forward. Leaders are also in the position to synthesize all the opinions and all the information to take measured risks, make informed decisions and to evolve their organizations.
So for many it's a matter of "Get over yourselves". It's not about only what you know or that your opinion is the best or only opinion; it'ss about how to integrate your knowledge and opinions into a greater whole.
This morning in Seth Godin’s blog, he wrote about “When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it” it triggered some of the dynamics of what’s been happening on Boards I’m involved in, my client’s worlds and some of what my colleagues are dealing with in theirs as well. When I want your opinion, I’ll definitely ask for it which doesn’t translate to “Whatever you say I’ll use as gospel and park my own opinions”. Those of you who lead teams, organizations or boards of directors know how powerful generative dialogue is in making the necessary decisions to move forward. Leaders are also in the position to synthesize all the opinions and all the information to take measured risks, make informed decisions and to evolve their organizations.
So for many it’s a matter of ‘get over yourselves’. It’s not about only what you know or that your opinion is the best or only opinion; it’s about how to integrate your knowledge and opinions into a greater whole.
Executive, Political, Leadership, Business, Life Coaching are here to stay. Period. It's not a fad, and Coaches are not here to fix people; Coaching is here to stay. ROI stats continue to rate high when it comes to growing people in their level of excellence and in turn positively impacting the organizations they work for. People such as Jack Welch, Bob Nardelli and Eric Schmidt of Google fame praise coaching to the skies and all say the best thing they ever did was get a coach so why the pushback?
What makes a corporate or government executive want to hide the fact that they're even considering getting a coach? Coaches are main stream in sports and are revered by their clients. There is article after article written about those who have just flown because of working with a coach. Where does the perspective of "Coaches fix people or are brought in because you're a problem" come from? Not a clue.
Paradigms are now shifting even in the political world. After all if you were considering who to vote for, wouldn't you want someone who continually honed his/her skills, kept learning and evolving and contextualized change continuously to represent you? I know I would!
So to set the record straight...coaching works. If you want someone to pat you on the back and feel what you're feeling and validate your emotions, then speak to a close friend or relative. If you want someone to evolve you beyond where you are, to help you learn better, work smarter, remove roadblocks that are standing in your way and help you fly, then get a coach. Pick one who you connect with, respect, trust, who stretches you beyond anything you imagined, one who recognizes you might be struggling and helps you use that emotion to get past it. That's when you know you've found the coach that's right for you.
If you want a coach to come in and fix a staffer who's creating problems, then turn it around and be coached. Learn how to manage problematic situations rather than delegate your job to a coach. Remember the responsibility of choosing the right coach is yours. If it's not a fit, find another coach. Make sure your coach is present and not 'fitting you in' when he or she can. Figure out what you want to achieve with your coach and continually reinvent. A great coach doesn't write things in stone. The coach will partner with you to create something you may not have thought of.
Bottom line is, start celebrating the fact you have a non judgmental 'partner in crime' to support you and help you succeed. Use that relationship selfishly as it's probably the most supportive relationship you will ever have. Do you want to be a great leader? Then look beyond what you know, figure out what you need to know that you don't know and recognize that two minds are better than one.
For tips on how to choose a coach click here. The rest well, as I tell my clients, no ceiling...just sky!
Donna Karlin A Better Perspective Executive, Political and Business Leadership Coaching
As a leadership Coach I constantly have to ask questions that I feel my clients would benefit on reflecting on and looking at how they answer not just what their answer is. Some of those questions are "Is easier harder?" "Is easier always better?" "Do you have to slow down to go faster?" Do we have to create space in our days so we can 'dance' in real time?
People want their lives to be easier but they're not sure just what that means. It's a vague concept to them and therefore makes their life harder in even trying to answer it.
Some people are so busy trying to make everyone else's life easier, it complicates their lives ten times over. This increases exponentially when they're in a position of organizational leadership. They want to avoid conflict, grievances, or negative attitudes. People don't want to 'rock the boat' and speak up for what they really want so they run instead of confront. Thing is, eventually they'll run out of energy by running away or hiding out and it'll all catch up to them in one fell swoop.
We live in a world of contradictions, most of them created by ourselves. Why do we do that exactly? If you find yourself in that category, what value do you get from it? There is value and often it's negative value but value all the same. People minimize their greatness by hiding under a veil of mediocrity. They want to be praised but often negate a compliment. Any of this sound familiar?
Next time you want to book off time for yourself, think about how easily you give it to others before you say the words "I don't have time to..." What contradictions are you living right now?
So I leave you with this...
"There is a point where in the mystery of existence contradictions meet; where movement is not all movement and stillness is not all stillness; where the idea and the form, the within and the without, are united; where infinite becomes finite, yet not" - Rabindranath Tagore
Complicated and yet simple!
Best... Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal, A Better Perspective Executive, Political and Business Leadership Coaching
When organizations inform staff about massive change, transition, cut backs, re-engineering or whatever label they place on it with the assurance that "It's not personal" that they have to change how their organization operates to work within the current economic climate, keep up with competitors etc, and it's not about them, the take away is "It's about me.It's all about me."It's about how I work, the tension factor, the fear factor about "being next to get the axe" and their relevance in the organization, to mention a few of many points.
The organization is right by another definition when they say "It's not personal".Way too often leadership treats its people in an impersonal way, not taking into account the emotional energy that staff bring to the table, how loyal they are, committed, and how overall they come from a place of wanting to do great work and succeed.
People change for their own reasons not yours.If they don't see meaning in what's happening they will fight it tooth and nail.Some believe it's great to look at everything horrible that can happen, acknowledge it, embrace it and make sure you create a way forward that can bypass it.Some believe they should start from scratch, co-creating change so everyone creates meaning within the context of the change.
Change will always be a constant.For organizations to succeed and grow its people, the best thing they can do is continually reinvent whether it's radical creation or tweaking along the way.But remember, it's all about people, relationships, trust and respect.
That is a question I ask my clients and often. What do you have to let go of to succeed? People often hold on to something that no longer serves them because that's what they used to do and it used to work. Thing is, times have changed. People have changed. How people do their work, communicate and collaborate is different. So why in the world would you want to hold onto something that you know is no longer serving you just because it's 'comfortable'?
In order to be an organizational leader you have to morph with the times, look at how you can use the resources around you to meet and surpass current needs. Stay ahead of the trends and incorporating those past ways of operating that still work will keep you ahead of the curve instead of hanging on by a thread.
Helping others see that as well is a key characteristic of leadership.
Are you dealing with power junkies? Control junkies? Conflict junkies? Those hell bent on having power over people, being #1 no matter what it takes or who they have to step on?
People are becoming increasingly competitive, impatient and downright angry in the workplace.As the economy continues to struggle, people are so focused on not being terminated they come to work operating through a cloud of fear, of 'oneupmanship ' not caring who they step on 'cause this for them is survival.They'll just deal with the aftermath, well...after.They don't consider ramifications or consequences, they just want to be on top no matter what.
Then there are those who aren't leadership material but if they come out fighting and creating tugs of war all around them then no one will notice (or so they think ) that they really aren't qualified for or deserve the position they're in.
These people aren't tuned into the concept of emotional intelligence or power with people rather than over people.They can smell the scent of victory the moment you engage with them and enter into a tug of war for position, control, perspective or just because they love an argument and they do love an argument!
How do you deal with these junkies?
Don't pick up the rope. You do whatever it is you have to do to not engage.The only way someone can start a tug of war is by you picking up the rope.If you don't, or let go the moment you fell your hand wrapping around the other end, drop it like a hot potato.There's nowhere to go if you don't engage.There are always solutions to these issues if you stop and take a moment to reflect on your options and collaborate with someone else who can help you deal with this kind of attack-like behaviour.
Speak to the topic not the person.Answer with questions that show you are looking at the desired results not the person's skill set, behaviour or power trip.
Ask for clarification to see if that individual really meant what he or she said.Sometimes repeating inappropriate communication shocks the other person into reality.If nothing else, it will help you clear your head and understand that you weren't hallucinating when you heard what you heard.
Lastly, keep it short, sweet and to the point. The shorter your communication is, the less likely you're going to fall into their trap.
Executive Coaching is here to stay.There are no ifs ands or buts about it.When leaders like Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google can say the best advice he ever got was to get a coach, we know coaching isn't going anywhere any time soon. http://money.cnn.com/video/fortune/2009/06/19/f_ba_schmidt_google.fortune/
I work with global leaders in the private and public sectors and I work with them in real time as their worlds unfold.These are amazing people!My clients don't have to be fixed.They want to be better.I watch as they construct interpretations about who they are and then demonstrate that in language and behavior.People rarely see themselves as others see them.That goes for all levels, leaders included. If you assume people in positions of leadership don't need coaching then look at it from this perspective:
Leaders rarely have allies, those they can share their fears, concerns, and insecurities with and yes, they all have insecurities.It's called being human.Coaches become thought partners, those clients can bounce ideas off of, look at behavioral drivers with, innovative ways of being, how to 'dance' in the moment and not be reactive, rather be able to see things with clarity and perspective with.
One of the things I encourage all my clients to work on is to always be learners; not to learn as in memorize data but to look for what they need to know that they don't know to move forward.We look at how to immediately integrate that learning into their every day worlds, keep what's applicable and park what isn't.The second area of focus is to figure out who they need to know who they don't know to expand their circle, their network, and to work with people who have skill sets they don't have to create a strong cohesive team.Leaders don't need to know everything; they need to know who does know how to do what they can't do.The smartest leaders realize they don't have to do things alone and know who they need to know to get the answers they need then I partner with them and watch them fly!No ceiling...just sky.
OK, you're a leader of an organization, group, department, team...doesn't matter. You're inundated. You don't know what to look at first, and then there's voice mail on top of it all.
How are you supposed to lead when you're bombarded with all this stuff?
In today's Management tip from Harvard Business Publishing, Peter Bregman talks about two lists you should look at every morning. There is some great stuff in this article but there are other things to keep in mind...
People look at priorities and goals. There is a third category that might not fit into the first two and that's pressures. If there's a pressure that's not an organizational priority or a goal it still has to be dealt with and quickly. It's the last minute emergency, the hot issue or the glitch in a system. They aren't categorized but happen every day.
Yes, as Peter Bregman states we are inundated with electronic information. Our inboxes are overflowing, many try to keep up with Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn not to mention other social media that is vying for your attention. As someone who wears many hats, Executive Coach, Advisor, Board VP, Teacher, Author and Writer, let me tell you I am not only inundated but had to make some key decisions as to what I needed to stay on top of.
First choice was to get off Twitter and fast. Within 2 days I had over 2,500 people following me and emailing me. Why exactly? And why did I want to wade through all that email it generated? so I'm off. Facebook and LinkedIn were the two I chose to keep current with as it gave me and my clients through me, value. That's what it's all about. If I have to take 2 hours to wade through Tweets by who knows who, that is not the best use of my time. Leaders now have staffers monitoring social media. Decide what you need to be on top of and what you need to drop and now. If it doesn't serve you, your organization, staff or clients then drop it. The value has to outweigh the time spent on these services. Then see how they tie in with your four levels of categories 1) Pressures & Priorities 2) Pressures 3) Priorities 4) Goals
In a perfect world whatever you're doing will be all 4. So make it as perfect as you can, schedule in your emergencies and evolve through time spent. Leaders make choices that serve themselves and others. Just because things are popular, doesn't mean they're relevant.
Donna Karlin, President and Founder A Better Perspective, Executive and Political Leadership Coaching
We look at language as "a body of words and the systems for their use common to a people who are of the same community or nation, the same geographical area, or the same cultural tradition".
We can be fluent in a language and yet fail to communicate clearly and concisely or tie the listener in knots by speaking around a topic and not saying anything of relevance.
As the younger generations come into the workplace and often communicate through text messaging rather than speech, the term 'sound bites' come into play as they speak almost in code. Yet do they know how to communicate at all levels, especially in the workplace when leadership tends to think and speak in complete sentences? How can we expect people to understand what we're doing and how we're doing it if we abbreviate to the point of ambiguity?
Enter the world of Twitter, for example, where you can only communicate with a maximum of 140 characters, forcing one to use coded language, misspelled words and pieces of thought sequences. Is that really serving us or forcing us into the world of "explaining what we meant"? Does this help evolve us or hold us back? Is the time one spends on Twitter or similar services time well spent or just "busymaking"?
These questions are on the table in more organizations than I can count. Where is the line crossed between using technology to simplify our lives and just filling it with chatter?
As I coach Executive Committee teams I now have systems set up where Blackberries are parked and turned off. "Isn't there pushback?" you ask. No. Because ultimately if these leaders are to do their jobs and use their time to create strong cohesive organizations, they have to be totally present and that means little or no distractions. What do I do? I have runners in an anti-room who field incoming calls from headquarters and come find the person needed to put out fires or field crises that come up. If it's neither of the two, the runners take messages for the team to get to after the meeting is over. They get ten times the work done, and honour their colleagues by listening and participating.
At a recent conference one of my colleagues was continually Twittering through the event. A few people complained about the distraction and the clattering of the keys. All I asked her was "How present were you, how participatory and engaged and how much did you miss by needing to be visible to your online world?"
She missed half that question as her fingers flew across her iPhone keypad. Then asked me to repeat it as I walked away.
